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Elderly Incredulity (long)
The people in these stories wouldn't be that bad if taken one at a time. However, I had just a four-hour shift today, and I got this lot.
And I feel that I must preface these stories by saying that I generally like my older customers. In fact, they can sometimes be more fun than customers closer to my age, and I have had several who were just plain cool, like the woman who must be 88 by now who took up World of Warcraft as a way to keep in touch with her grandsons.
System Requirements
Older couple has a computer with Windows Vista. It came with some Roxio CD/DVD writing software, which they have been using and have enjoyed. Now they want to start printing labels for their discs, and their Roxio suite includes such a function. However, they can't seem to figure out how to use it.
They explained this situation to me, and I stated that I understood. Still, Older Lady insisted on showing me the Roxio program they have and nearly dragged me over to the software section to show it to me. She then had me verify from the package that it was Vista compatible, which I already knew and had confirmed to her, considering that it was already running on a Vista computer.
Me: We have some disc labeling kits over with our blank CDs. They've got the paper you'd need and even some other software if Roxio isn't working the way you'd like.
Older Lady: We've looked at those, but they're not Vista compatible.
Me: Oh, that's right. We're still waiting on the new one. I think you can download a patch for it.
Older Man: No, we can't. We've tried.
Now, I don't understand how they could have tried to patch software they hadn't even used yet, but I didn't push that issue. They were already well into the tone and attitude that suggested they thought I didn't know what I was talking about and required lengthy explanations to understand their situation.
Me: Well, I think the Roxio program just needs paper with the right print layout for it to work. I have some label paper without the software that will probably work.
Older Man: No, that won't work either. It's not Vista compatible.
Me: I know the label making kits with the software are not Vista compatible, but the paper by itself won't care what's on your computer.
Older Man: No, look...
He nearly drags me over to our label kits and hands me a label making kit with software.
Older Man: See?
Me: Yes, but we also have these packs that are just paper. They have no system requirements.
Older Man: No, look. (reading) "Works with most inkjet and laser printers."
Me: Yeah. It'll work with your printer.
Older Man: But it won't work with my software.
Me: That's what we're not sure about. It might work if your Roxio program recognizes the layout that this paper uses. That's what you'd have to check for.
Older Lady: But what if it doesn't? We've tried using other label paper, and we had a really hard time lining it up.
Me: Then, I would guess that Roxio didn't have a template for the paper you were using.
Older Lady: But it should work! Unless that wasn't Vista compatible either!
Me: Paper can't be Vista compatible or not. In this case though, you could say that you're looking for sheets that are Roxio compatible. If you've tried these before, you might want to contact Roxio's support group and see what recommendations they have.
I repeated that last bit a few times because I obviously didn't have a complete answer for them. I can understand that would be frustrating to have to leave without having the problem solved, but I'd given them what little I could, considering they didn't believe half of what I tried to say anyway.
Sexism and Vonage
Vonage Man needed a new adapter for his Vonage service. His had died a horribly painful electrical death. But he wasn't sure what to get. When he came into the department, I was busy with the couple mentioned above, so I had female co-worker JM talk to him. JM was able to point him to the Vonage stuff, but she knew little about it. So she went to get female co-worker RS who usually covers appliances but, given a day to familiarize herself with the current stock of computers, could easily move over to my department.
RS visited for a while with Vonage Man. She showed him the newest edition of the device he needed to replace. I walked up in time to overhear this...
RS: This is exactly what your old one was, only a different design.
Vonage Man: But, mine has five plugs on it.
RS: So does this one.
Vonage Man: Mine has one for power, and one from the modem, and one from the computer, and two for the phones.
RS: That's exactly what this has.
Vonage Man: But it looks different!
RS: It's a different manufacturer than the one you had, and it's a newer design, but it has the same connections and works the same way.
Vonage Man: But mine has five plugs in it. How many does this have?
RS: Five.
I stepped in to relieve RS.
Me: It's just the newest model, sir.
Vonage Man: Ah! Perhaps you can help!
Me: Yes, I've overheard part of your conversation with RS. This new one has the power port, of course, here. Here it has the two Ethernet ports--one to connect to the modem and one to connect to the computer. And here it has the two phone ports.
Vonage Man: But will it work like my old one did?
Me: Yes. It might even work better.
Vonage Man: Is everything labeled so I can hook it all up?
Me: Yes.
Vonage Man: And you're sure it has five ports?
Me: Yes.
Vonage Man: Okay! Well, that answers that. Now I have another question.
He pulled two power adapters out of his jacket pocket and handed them to me.
Vonage Man: One of those came from my old Vonage thing. I don't know which one. Can you check?
Me: Can I check what?
Vonage Man: Well, I need to know which one fits this new Vonage thing I have to buy.
Me: I'm not sure either will fit, but it doesn't matter because the new one comes with its own power adapter.
Vonage Man: Oh, it does?
Me: Yes. It'll look somewhat like these.
Vonage Man: You're sure it's in the box?
Me: Yes, it is.
Vonage Man: Well, I don't want to get home and find that I don't have it!
Me: You won't, sir. It's there.
Vonage Man: Okay... I'm trusting you on this, you know.
Me: I know. It's there.
He bought his Vonage device, but he had to give me a few sideways glances on his way out, still somehow unsure. According to RS and JM, he spent the whole conversation with them grinning and over-enunciating as if talking to a child. They figured, after seeing how he reacted to me, that he wanted to talk to a man from the start.
Rebellion Against the Empire
I don't want to start another conversation about Microsoft and its operating systems. This customer did, though. He came in hunched over and frowning, so I knew from the start that it wasn't going to be fun.
Grumpy XP Guy: Where are your computers with Windows XP?
Me: I don't have any in the store. I think I can still special order some for you, though.
Grumpy XP Guy: No, I need it today. Where are they?
Me: They're not here, sir. I have to special order them.
Grumpy XP Guy: I don't believe you.
He spends a few minutes scowling at the floor model notebooks before coming back to me.
Grumpy XP Guy: I only see that lousy Veesta on these. Where are your XP machines.
Me: In warehouses in California and a few East Coast states.
Grumpy XP Guy: I don't believe you. I want to buy a computer with Windows XP from you, and all you want to do is sell me Veesta. You're not going to show me the XP computers, are you.
Me: I can show them to you online and order one that way.
Grumpy XP Guy: You're just hiding them!
Me: If my job is to sell stuff, why would I hide merchandise from my customers?
Grumpy XP Guy: Because you're one of Bill Gates's slaves, and he's paying you to sell the crap he wants everybody to buy because all he cares about and all you care about is making money.
Me: Have you thought about buying an Apple computer?
Grumpy XP Guy: Don't even get me started on Apple! I'm going to Small Competitor.
Me: They've closed, sir. I think they went out of business.
Grumpy XP Guy: We'll just see about that!
And off he went. For all I know, he's banging on the locked doors of the empty shop where Small Competitor used to be, accusing the vacant shelves of hiding all the employees.
I'm still trying to figure out why they all had to come after me at once and what made me so untrustworthy today...
And I feel that I must preface these stories by saying that I generally like my older customers. In fact, they can sometimes be more fun than customers closer to my age, and I have had several who were just plain cool, like the woman who must be 88 by now who took up World of Warcraft as a way to keep in touch with her grandsons.
System Requirements
Older couple has a computer with Windows Vista. It came with some Roxio CD/DVD writing software, which they have been using and have enjoyed. Now they want to start printing labels for their discs, and their Roxio suite includes such a function. However, they can't seem to figure out how to use it.
They explained this situation to me, and I stated that I understood. Still, Older Lady insisted on showing me the Roxio program they have and nearly dragged me over to the software section to show it to me. She then had me verify from the package that it was Vista compatible, which I already knew and had confirmed to her, considering that it was already running on a Vista computer.
Me: We have some disc labeling kits over with our blank CDs. They've got the paper you'd need and even some other software if Roxio isn't working the way you'd like.
Older Lady: We've looked at those, but they're not Vista compatible.
Me: Oh, that's right. We're still waiting on the new one. I think you can download a patch for it.
Older Man: No, we can't. We've tried.
Now, I don't understand how they could have tried to patch software they hadn't even used yet, but I didn't push that issue. They were already well into the tone and attitude that suggested they thought I didn't know what I was talking about and required lengthy explanations to understand their situation.
Me: Well, I think the Roxio program just needs paper with the right print layout for it to work. I have some label paper without the software that will probably work.
Older Man: No, that won't work either. It's not Vista compatible.
Me: I know the label making kits with the software are not Vista compatible, but the paper by itself won't care what's on your computer.
Older Man: No, look...
He nearly drags me over to our label kits and hands me a label making kit with software.
Older Man: See?
Me: Yes, but we also have these packs that are just paper. They have no system requirements.
Older Man: No, look. (reading) "Works with most inkjet and laser printers."
Me: Yeah. It'll work with your printer.
Older Man: But it won't work with my software.
Me: That's what we're not sure about. It might work if your Roxio program recognizes the layout that this paper uses. That's what you'd have to check for.
Older Lady: But what if it doesn't? We've tried using other label paper, and we had a really hard time lining it up.
Me: Then, I would guess that Roxio didn't have a template for the paper you were using.
Older Lady: But it should work! Unless that wasn't Vista compatible either!
Me: Paper can't be Vista compatible or not. In this case though, you could say that you're looking for sheets that are Roxio compatible. If you've tried these before, you might want to contact Roxio's support group and see what recommendations they have.
I repeated that last bit a few times because I obviously didn't have a complete answer for them. I can understand that would be frustrating to have to leave without having the problem solved, but I'd given them what little I could, considering they didn't believe half of what I tried to say anyway.
Sexism and Vonage
Vonage Man needed a new adapter for his Vonage service. His had died a horribly painful electrical death. But he wasn't sure what to get. When he came into the department, I was busy with the couple mentioned above, so I had female co-worker JM talk to him. JM was able to point him to the Vonage stuff, but she knew little about it. So she went to get female co-worker RS who usually covers appliances but, given a day to familiarize herself with the current stock of computers, could easily move over to my department.
RS visited for a while with Vonage Man. She showed him the newest edition of the device he needed to replace. I walked up in time to overhear this...
RS: This is exactly what your old one was, only a different design.
Vonage Man: But, mine has five plugs on it.
RS: So does this one.
Vonage Man: Mine has one for power, and one from the modem, and one from the computer, and two for the phones.
RS: That's exactly what this has.
Vonage Man: But it looks different!
RS: It's a different manufacturer than the one you had, and it's a newer design, but it has the same connections and works the same way.
Vonage Man: But mine has five plugs in it. How many does this have?
RS: Five.
I stepped in to relieve RS.
Me: It's just the newest model, sir.
Vonage Man: Ah! Perhaps you can help!
Me: Yes, I've overheard part of your conversation with RS. This new one has the power port, of course, here. Here it has the two Ethernet ports--one to connect to the modem and one to connect to the computer. And here it has the two phone ports.
Vonage Man: But will it work like my old one did?
Me: Yes. It might even work better.
Vonage Man: Is everything labeled so I can hook it all up?
Me: Yes.
Vonage Man: And you're sure it has five ports?
Me: Yes.
Vonage Man: Okay! Well, that answers that. Now I have another question.
He pulled two power adapters out of his jacket pocket and handed them to me.
Vonage Man: One of those came from my old Vonage thing. I don't know which one. Can you check?
Me: Can I check what?
Vonage Man: Well, I need to know which one fits this new Vonage thing I have to buy.
Me: I'm not sure either will fit, but it doesn't matter because the new one comes with its own power adapter.
Vonage Man: Oh, it does?
Me: Yes. It'll look somewhat like these.
Vonage Man: You're sure it's in the box?
Me: Yes, it is.
Vonage Man: Well, I don't want to get home and find that I don't have it!
Me: You won't, sir. It's there.
Vonage Man: Okay... I'm trusting you on this, you know.
Me: I know. It's there.
He bought his Vonage device, but he had to give me a few sideways glances on his way out, still somehow unsure. According to RS and JM, he spent the whole conversation with them grinning and over-enunciating as if talking to a child. They figured, after seeing how he reacted to me, that he wanted to talk to a man from the start.
Rebellion Against the Empire
I don't want to start another conversation about Microsoft and its operating systems. This customer did, though. He came in hunched over and frowning, so I knew from the start that it wasn't going to be fun.
Grumpy XP Guy: Where are your computers with Windows XP?
Me: I don't have any in the store. I think I can still special order some for you, though.
Grumpy XP Guy: No, I need it today. Where are they?
Me: They're not here, sir. I have to special order them.
Grumpy XP Guy: I don't believe you.
He spends a few minutes scowling at the floor model notebooks before coming back to me.
Grumpy XP Guy: I only see that lousy Veesta on these. Where are your XP machines.
Me: In warehouses in California and a few East Coast states.
Grumpy XP Guy: I don't believe you. I want to buy a computer with Windows XP from you, and all you want to do is sell me Veesta. You're not going to show me the XP computers, are you.
Me: I can show them to you online and order one that way.
Grumpy XP Guy: You're just hiding them!
Me: If my job is to sell stuff, why would I hide merchandise from my customers?
Grumpy XP Guy: Because you're one of Bill Gates's slaves, and he's paying you to sell the crap he wants everybody to buy because all he cares about and all you care about is making money.
Me: Have you thought about buying an Apple computer?
Grumpy XP Guy: Don't even get me started on Apple! I'm going to Small Competitor.
Me: They've closed, sir. I think they went out of business.
Grumpy XP Guy: We'll just see about that!
And off he went. For all I know, he's banging on the locked doors of the empty shop where Small Competitor used to be, accusing the vacant shelves of hiding all the employees.
I'm still trying to figure out why they all had to come after me at once and what made me so untrustworthy today...
that's what I did when my last laptop died. Didn't want the veesta.
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