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  • The kids aren't alright

    So, I haven't been on for awhile. Been busy with work, school and starting the nursing program at my college (it's awesome).

    That, plus I haven't had any stories of real merit to post here. Just the same boring crap I've had to go through for the past 2-3 months.

    But this one caught my attention.


    This past weekend, SAW V came out. Of course, all the underage kids want to see it. Most were really cool about it. They either came with a parent or had ID's. For that I am thankful.

    So, I'm walking down the hallway when I see a group of about 4-5 try to walk into the film. I immediatly stop them and our conversation goes like this.

    EB: Emo boy
    EBG: Emo boy's girl
    BEB: Blond haired emo boy
    CG: Chubby girl
    Me: Who else?


    Me: Guys, can I see your tickets.

    Now, I'm not a dumb person. Working at this place for the last 3 1/2 years, I've learned all the tricks and even pulled them once or twice before I worked there. There's really nothing that I'll fall for.

    All of them turn and EBG is the first that I get a hold of. She sheepishly (knowing she's been caught) shows me her ticket.

    Ah ha, The secret life of bees. A far cry from SAW V. Like any kid in their right mind is going to waste their time with that movie. I know how these people think.

    Me: (slight chuckle) Yeah, I don't think so. That's not (insert theatre number) is it?

    They all start walking away but not really willing to give up just yet.

    Me: You guys need to go to the theatre that you paid for.

    EMB: Come on, are you serious?

    Me: (deadpan) Yes. You're minors and this isn't the movie you paid for.

    EB: Well, I've got a fresh $1.

    (So, now this kid's gonna try and bribe me? Perfect)

    Me: Sorry, my rate is $200 and it goes up from there (Thank you to whoever on this site came up with that response)

    So now they start milling around, trying to go through their options. I'm not moving from my spot till they go to where they're supposed to.

    So then EB breaks out a $20.

    Me: Kid, I'm not taking a bribe.

    EB: But no one would have to know about it.

    Me pointing to the cameras in the ceiling) Right, except for that camera, and that one and that one.

    CG: Are you being serious?

    Me: (head nod)

    The kids are at a loss for words now. EB mentions something about the cameras not being able to see us clearly.

    Me: Look, my job is not worth $20, end of story.

    So they start walking away and i follow them. I had to check the bathrooms and happened to follow BEB into the bathroom.

    BEB: I told them that they shouldn't have done that. But hey, they never listen to me.

    Bullshit, like I'm going to believe that crock

    Me: Well, there's a fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think I walk that line everyday of my life.

    And with that, the kids were thwarted and I was able to go on my way, to try and survive the rest of the Hell weekend. Oh, did I mention that High School Musical 3 came out? It was a really rought 4 days.


    Bonus points to whoever figures out the title reference.
    Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

    Christopher Titus.

  • #2
    Offspring song. pshaw, Easy!

    I will use my bonus point to buy the cheap plastic decoder ring please. Maybe then people will make sense!

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    • #3
      Offspring? Hmm....I was thinking "The Who" "the kids are alright"
      "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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      • #4
        The Offspring song is a reference of the Who song.
        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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        • #5
          Wow.
          It's like Mad Magazine doing "Everybody Hates Raymond".
          One word change and it's a whole 'nother animal.
          "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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          • #6
            hey how is that secret life of bees movie? i read the book earlier this year...

            and... omg.. they made saw 5? ... saw 2 was so boring I started reading a book right there in the theatre.
            (hmmm i wonder if anyone's going to try the opposite... buy tix for saw 5, find it boring and then try to sneak into the bees movie)

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            • #7
              As a kid, I never had a problem getting into movies I wasn't supposed to. Of course, I am was a sneaky, devious little shit, and had my ways. These kids obviously were not that talented. Hell, I was good enough to see Porky's in the theater when I was only ten.

              By the way, I LOVE the Saw movies, and am looking forward to seeing V, though I have no idea where they are going with it this time, since it seemed to have wrapped up in IV.

              On a side note, anyone else catch the VH1 reality show, "Scream Queens," where ten aspiring "actresses" compete for the right to be in "Scream VI"? It premiered this week, and it's hilarious. Of course, it is also hosted by the delectable Shawnee Smith (of Saw I, II, and III), so that's a definite bonus. Mmmm.....Shawnee Smith.....

              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
              Still A Customer."

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              • #8
                Oh God, he had to say "High School Musical"... if I ever hear those three words again I will snap... filmed in the lovely East High School up on 13th east... the news stations haven't shut up about that movie sense they started filming
                If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                • #9
                  Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                  The Offspring song is a reference of the Who song.
                  So, Offspring covered the Who. Okay. I thought it may have been something like that.
                  "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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                  • #10
                    There's actually going to be 6 total Saw movies.

                    I'm going to see Saw V Friday night. Don't ruin it for me now dog gammit.

                    I tried to sneak into an R movie once. It didn't work.

                    Nowadays, I go to see R movies or even 18+ only movies (like the Grindhouse films) and all these little teenie boppers get in and I wonder how. Unless they are older than they look and really were 18....ye gads. That really chapped my rear end.
                    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                    • #11
                      Quoth friendofjimmyk View Post
                      So, Offspring covered the Who. Okay. I thought it may have been something like that.
                      Erm, not really. Just referenced the title. Give it a listen, though. Damned good rock song. I was thinking of doing an AMV to Gundam Wing to it.
                      The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                      "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                      Hoc spatio locantur.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth friendofjimmyk View Post
                        So, Offspring covered the Who. Okay. I thought it may have been something like that.
                        As GK said, it's a totally different song, not a cover. But an amazing listen.

                        Offspring rocks.

                        Heheheh....in '99 I went to an Offspring concert, and felt REALLY old. I was 29, and felt like I was twice as old as everyone else there. But I didn't care, because Offspring ROCKS.

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

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                        • #13
                          What? No bonus points for getting the Church reference?

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                          • #14
                            Another veteran of the movie theater biz!

                            Quoth solidmetalgear19 View Post
                            Me: Sorry, my rate is $200 and it goes up from there (Thank you to whoever on this site came up with that response)
                            That was me! Someone used my line! I feel so special.
                            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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