So that may seem a strange title, but it may make more sense when I say I was working in a student massage clinic when this happened.
So, some background for those of you who've not had a massage, the SOP is you go into reception and fill out a medical form, it's then brought to me and I take a couple of minutes to go over it, basically so I can see if there are any contraindications or areas that might need more attention, I then come out and get you and take you to the cubicle I'm working in. I then go over your form with you, this is important because if you've forgotten something it can have serious repercussions, I then tell them what modalities I do and ask them what they want, I'll then give them a brief treatment plan and tell them I'll step out while they get undressed and on the table under the top towel, and just give me a call when they're ready. Once they're on the table I move the towl so that their whole body is draped, only the part of the body I'm working on is exposed and is covered up again once I'm done, unless they're hot in which case I'll leave parts uncovered. (temperature wise, not looks, get your minds out of the gutters. )
Now background for the scene and the SC, it's 4:30pm about this time I should be getting the medical form, all other students who have clients have theirs and are working, I figure mine isn't turning up, which I'm happy about as I've just done 3 full body massages and I'm tired and in need of a massage myself. Well 4:45 come around (did I mention that I pissed off some deity years ago and I've been paying for it since?) Well *nameless deity* decides it's time to pay again, out comes receptionist with a medical form (bugger) I look at it and, uh-oh, I recognise the name, it's SC, now SC has a reputation, she always get here 15 minutes late, expects to get her full hour massage, so not going to happen.
Me= the close to homicidal massage therapist
SC=the evil one who should realise it's easy to be killed when one is naked lying prone ahem, evil woman
italics my thoughts
Me: Hi I'm Nyoibo if you want to come through you're in the second cubicle on the right
SC:... *brushes past*
Me: oh goodie, So, by your treatment form you've been here a few time so you know the drill, my modalities are relaxation and Myofascial release, so what were you looking for today?
SC: (in loud conversation voice) Work on the traps, lumbar, glutes and maybe thighs, calves and feet, and then maybe some work on the arms and quads.
*it should be noted there are 6 other clients in the room with only a curtain dividing the cubicles, and all others are 15-20 minutes into their session, she knows this and refuses to speak quietly to not disturb people*
Me: yeah right, we're 25 minutes into the sessions, no way you're getting all of that in the time left, Well there's not much time, so which area's giving you the most problems and work from there down?
SC: Traps, glutes and calves, and if there's time feet and quads.
Me: Ok, I'll just step out while you get undressed and under the towel, give me a call when you're ready.
*I step out and wait for a few minutes, check under the curtain to see if there are feet on the ground, nope*
Me: are you good to go?
SC: snarkily, yes, I have been for a couple of minutes
Me: Then why didn't you say some thing twitOk, let's get started.
*So there's not much talking for a bit, except when I'm draping and moving the towel, SC is moving it after me, uncovering herself and making my life a pain, this comes into play later, as does what follows.*
*after moving from traps to glutes and working on them for a couple of minutes*
SC: *In loud voice* Actually, can you work on the lumbar area?
Me: Yup, I can do that Now shut the hell up
SC: Can you go harder, I need it really hard for it to do any good
Me: No you don't Yes, I can go harder
*After doing Glutes and then lumbar area and calves, like she wanted*
SC: Can you do the thighs now?
Me: Yes Would have been easier if you'd asked that while I was up there
*After I'm done with the thighs*
SC: oh well, there's only 5 minutes felt, you can just to my feet
Me: Oh can I, can I really? Oh happy days Ok.
*Once it's all done*
Me: Ok, I'll just head out and get you a glass of water while you get dressed and wait for you to come out.
I then proceed to wait 5 minutes thinking she's getting dressed only to find that she's waiting on the bed for me to bring her the water before she even gets up, all the other cubicles are packed up and curtains are drawn back, she knows that clinic finishes at 5:30, it's now 5:45 and she's still taking her time, not caring that she's inconveniencing 12 people.
Now for the good part, the feedback form, hercomments complaints
"Wasn't properly draped, was left uncovered in places" And the fact you kept moving the towel, to the point where you pulled the damn thing right off had no bearing on that now did it?
"Pressure was only about a 1/3rd of what I need to have effect" Lady, not only did you not say the pressure was not hard enough after I changed it, harder is not always better, and I've made a semi-professional Rugby player squirm on the table, if I used 3 times the pressure I'd be bruising muscle and damaging tendons
My personal favorite
"Needs to develop better planning, was moving around fromplace to place without continuity" Well if you hadn't have changed your mind on what you wanted done every 5 minutes and told me at the start I'd have gone fluidly through the areas
"Session was too short" You turn up at 4:45 minutes , knowing your session starts at 4:30 and we finish at 5:25, waste more time not telling me you're ready and expect to get a full 50 minutes?
Now, as a student clinic, you don't get expert class massages, and you only pay $25 a session, expecting what she expects she should go to a fully qualified therapist, but I'd love to see how long one would keep her on the books with her attitude and respect that she shows.
(Side note, I've just spent about an hour writing this, so of it loses coherence at the end, please forgive me, it's late and I haven't slept for a long time)
So, some background for those of you who've not had a massage, the SOP is you go into reception and fill out a medical form, it's then brought to me and I take a couple of minutes to go over it, basically so I can see if there are any contraindications or areas that might need more attention, I then come out and get you and take you to the cubicle I'm working in. I then go over your form with you, this is important because if you've forgotten something it can have serious repercussions, I then tell them what modalities I do and ask them what they want, I'll then give them a brief treatment plan and tell them I'll step out while they get undressed and on the table under the top towel, and just give me a call when they're ready. Once they're on the table I move the towl so that their whole body is draped, only the part of the body I'm working on is exposed and is covered up again once I'm done, unless they're hot in which case I'll leave parts uncovered. (temperature wise, not looks, get your minds out of the gutters. )
Now background for the scene and the SC, it's 4:30pm about this time I should be getting the medical form, all other students who have clients have theirs and are working, I figure mine isn't turning up, which I'm happy about as I've just done 3 full body massages and I'm tired and in need of a massage myself. Well 4:45 come around (did I mention that I pissed off some deity years ago and I've been paying for it since?) Well *nameless deity* decides it's time to pay again, out comes receptionist with a medical form (bugger) I look at it and, uh-oh, I recognise the name, it's SC, now SC has a reputation, she always get here 15 minutes late, expects to get her full hour massage, so not going to happen.
Me= the close to homicidal massage therapist
SC=
italics my thoughts
Me: Hi I'm Nyoibo if you want to come through you're in the second cubicle on the right
SC:... *brushes past*
Me: oh goodie, So, by your treatment form you've been here a few time so you know the drill, my modalities are relaxation and Myofascial release, so what were you looking for today?
SC: (in loud conversation voice) Work on the traps, lumbar, glutes and maybe thighs, calves and feet, and then maybe some work on the arms and quads.
*it should be noted there are 6 other clients in the room with only a curtain dividing the cubicles, and all others are 15-20 minutes into their session, she knows this and refuses to speak quietly to not disturb people*
Me: yeah right, we're 25 minutes into the sessions, no way you're getting all of that in the time left, Well there's not much time, so which area's giving you the most problems and work from there down?
SC: Traps, glutes and calves, and if there's time feet and quads.
Me: Ok, I'll just step out while you get undressed and under the towel, give me a call when you're ready.
*I step out and wait for a few minutes, check under the curtain to see if there are feet on the ground, nope*
Me: are you good to go?
SC: snarkily, yes, I have been for a couple of minutes
Me: Then why didn't you say some thing twitOk, let's get started.
*So there's not much talking for a bit, except when I'm draping and moving the towel, SC is moving it after me, uncovering herself and making my life a pain, this comes into play later, as does what follows.*
*after moving from traps to glutes and working on them for a couple of minutes*
SC: *In loud voice* Actually, can you work on the lumbar area?
Me: Yup, I can do that Now shut the hell up
SC: Can you go harder, I need it really hard for it to do any good
Me: No you don't Yes, I can go harder
*After doing Glutes and then lumbar area and calves, like she wanted*
SC: Can you do the thighs now?
Me: Yes Would have been easier if you'd asked that while I was up there
*After I'm done with the thighs*
SC: oh well, there's only 5 minutes felt, you can just to my feet
Me: Oh can I, can I really? Oh happy days Ok.
*Once it's all done*
Me: Ok, I'll just head out and get you a glass of water while you get dressed and wait for you to come out.
I then proceed to wait 5 minutes thinking she's getting dressed only to find that she's waiting on the bed for me to bring her the water before she even gets up, all the other cubicles are packed up and curtains are drawn back, she knows that clinic finishes at 5:30, it's now 5:45 and she's still taking her time, not caring that she's inconveniencing 12 people.
Now for the good part, the feedback form, her
"Wasn't properly draped, was left uncovered in places" And the fact you kept moving the towel, to the point where you pulled the damn thing right off had no bearing on that now did it?
"Pressure was only about a 1/3rd of what I need to have effect" Lady, not only did you not say the pressure was not hard enough after I changed it, harder is not always better, and I've made a semi-professional Rugby player squirm on the table, if I used 3 times the pressure I'd be bruising muscle and damaging tendons
My personal favorite
"Needs to develop better planning, was moving around fromplace to place without continuity" Well if you hadn't have changed your mind on what you wanted done every 5 minutes and told me at the start I'd have gone fluidly through the areas
"Session was too short" You turn up at 4:45 minutes , knowing your session starts at 4:30 and we finish at 5:25, waste more time not telling me you're ready and expect to get a full 50 minutes?
Now, as a student clinic, you don't get expert class massages, and you only pay $25 a session, expecting what she expects she should go to a fully qualified therapist, but I'd love to see how long one would keep her on the books with her attitude and respect that she shows.
(Side note, I've just spent about an hour writing this, so of it loses coherence at the end, please forgive me, it's late and I haven't slept for a long time)
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