We want a round table!

[Jester]

These people were bad, but they did not come right out and ask for an occupied table.

A couple of years ago.....

CW: Female coworker ambushed by SC.
SC: The Universe revolves around her, you know.

SC: "Excuse me, I was hoping to get a table."
CW: "We have some tables open in the back."
SC: "We wanted to sit closer to the stage."
CW: "I'm sorry, all those tables are taken."
SC: "Well we wanted that table." (points)
CW: "Ma'am, that tables is occupied."
SC: "We have good money."
CW:

She had nothing to say. This woman was basically saying that not only was her money better than other people's money, but because of that "fact," she should be given a table over the people who were sitting there at that time.

I'm sorry, but unless you OWN THE BAR, you don't get to demand any old table, occupied or not. And if you DO own the bar, such behavior will be quick to alienate your clientele.

Pardon my French, but fucking idiots.

[Jay 2K Winger]

And I want a personal stripper to be here for every time I get that itchin feelin, but I know that's just not in the cards. Deal with it.

I get to say something like that to whiny little kids at the wholesale club.

Whiny Little Brat (WLB) - self-explanatory
Jay 2K Winger (J2K) - Yours Truly

WLB: I want <expensive toy or summat>!!!!
Parent: We're not getting one today.
WLB: But I want <expensive toy or summat>!!!!!ONE!!!ELEVENTY!
J2K: And I want ten million dollars tax-free, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna get it.
WLB:
Parent:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I volunteer! I'm not a professional or anything, but I'll do my best.

Well I do have a birthday coming up in 2 months..........

There's just one thing.........will you wear fuzzy antlers and be a reindeer and get in the sleigh and let me whip you?

And which thread is this . . .

Oh yeah . . . ya'll need to get a room.

[Jester]

I get to say something like that to whiny little kids at the wholesale club.

As a magician, I've gotten to totally whack annoying kids with utter freedom. Not as much as a waiter, and never really as a bartender (kids can't sit at the bar, after all), but as a magician, I have actually used this wonderful line:

WHINEY KID: whine whine whine whine
JESTER: "Hey, Johnny, do you have any younger brothers or sisters?"
WHINEY KID: "No."
JESTER: "Ever wonder why?"
WHINEY KID:
PARENTS:

[Imogene]

And I want a tall,leggy blonde (female) nurse,

Bah, you and your qualifiers...

And I want a personal stripper to be here for every time I get that itchin feelin,

Uh... okay, two things... 1) Having a stripper might be why you get that itchin' feelin', and 2) They have unguents to fix that itchin' feelin'.
/HAD to go there

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Bah, you and your qualifiers...


Uh... okay, two things... 1) Having a stripper might be why you get that itchin' feelin', and 2) They have unguents to fix that itchin' feelin'.
/HAD to go there

Oh yeah . . . I carry that stuff. Comes in a purple and white box.