Brash bookworms boldly break open boxes

[daleduke17]

This is my knife. I love taking it out in front of customers, especially SCs. (Note: only when i have to, like to open a box or they want me to remove a tag etc...). IF only I could carry a piece

You call that a knife.......

[Kiwi]

You call that a knife.......

Thats not a knife this is a knife

No its not its a spoon

Oh I see youve played knifeyspoony before

[wagegoth]

Also, just because I ask you if you need help finding anything doesn't mean I'm hitting on you. Please stop asking me to be your girlfriend (this happened twice in one day. What, do dusty old books make guys horny, or something?)

At the local independent bookstore, the woman, I'll call her Leslie, who basically runs the place (the owner is a grumpy old fart with a wheeze so bad I keep waiting for him to just keel over) has a problem with male customers who want to spend the day monopolizing her time, trying to impress her, when all she really wants is to get things done.

She's intelligent, attractive in a bookish way, but I think a lot of it is because she's a redhead and very tall. I'm somewhat tall and redheaded and I always feel like I stand out in a crowd. I've also been hit on a lot myself, even now at my age.

Anyway, my husband had stopped by the store a couple of weeks ago to pick up a book he had ordered and browse the used books. A man was also there. supposedly shopping, but really waiting for an opening to bug Leslie. And so it begins. The other customer gets to the counter and starts delivering a lecture about how he's been studying the history of military ships from the mid-1800s to WWI. My husband hears him and then sees Leslie's face. He heads to the front of the store and then waits for the other customer to pause for breath.

Now, the other customer had to pause for breath as he was extremely heavy. His stomach hung so low that he had to pick it up and move it out of the way when he would bend over to look at books on a lower shelf. He's got body odor issues and probably hangs out in the store because Leslie is the only woman that will listen to him, totally ignoring her obvious discomfort and desire to escape his presence.

The break comes. My husband jumps in and starts talking about, yeah, how interesting this subject is, and the Russo-Japanese war, the effect of tonnage limits on warships, etc. He goes on for a few minutes with all this information he had gleaned from the series "Reilly: Ace of Spies." The other customer, of course, doesn't know my husband is mostly faking it, and ends up leaving quickly.

Leslie ended up giving my husband an extra discount on the used books.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Seriously, who runs around with a boxcutter in their pocket?

*raises hand*

I keep two in my purse. That way, I don't lose them in the backroom when I'm not using them.

[zzapp the witch]

Once, when I had to attend a court hearing, the sheriff screening me asked if I had any weapons in my purse. I said, no, but I might have something YOU would consider a weapon. He sighed and brought out the tray. In it I put:

Box cutter
Round nose, flat nose, and needle nose pliers
Two pairs of scissors.
Measuring tape
Wire cutters
A book of crochet hooks and sewing needles
A small hammer and anvil
Two spools of aluminum welding wire

And nail clippers.

He gave me the nail clippers back.

After the hearing, he and some really bored fellow deputies asked me why I had all these bizarre things in my purse, whereupon my (now ex) boyfriend reveled in showing off his chainmaille bracers. (You can't take em off unless you use a bolt cutter, they're permanent). And I got about 3 new customers!