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  • My most memorable suck

    Ok, I've commented on a few posts, but I've hesitated from offering up my own sucks because a) my retail career is long behind me and b) my memory of specific sucks isn't really that good, even if I did work at Wal-Mart for a coon's age. But that job was all one big suck from start to finish, so...

    But the Tickle-Me-Elmo thread reminded me of the suck that stands out above all others.

    From my very first retail job, and I've never had one I loved more than this one in all the years since. It was a toy store, a great one that sadly no longer exists. Does anyone remember Toys & Wheels? And my manager was the most awesome manager it's ever been my privilege to work for. (Nancy, whereever you are and whatever you're doing now, you did more for me than you'll ever realize and I will always be grateful). But anyways, I ramble, I know, sorry.

    Date: Summer, 1988.

    Location: Willowbrook Mall, Langley, BC. After the first expansion that made it look rather like a 'T' from above.

    Scene begins with mood shot: 6 am, just getting light out. Overcast sky, no wind, no rain. Quiet. Too quiet. Cue small blue Gremlin pulling into nearly empty employee parking and a lone, small female emerging, purse in hand and blue and yellow smock hanging over her shoulder. Nervous expression.

    Manager opens the door when I knock, and I squeeze into the back room with everyone else. It's Tuesday, and there are 8 people in this back room. This only reinforces my uneasiness, because on a Tuesday morning, there are usually 4 people scheduled in, one to run cash, one to keep an eye on the floor, two to sit in the back and receive stock. Tuesdays are usually our personal Christmas, when we get our boxes of shiny new toys and get to open and oogle over them before customers ever see them. But there are 8 of us today, and the more experienced staff look grim. Us newbies (4 of us), are a little nervous, but we're also confused. It's not going to be that bad, is it? There is a rumbling from outside and then a hasty banging on the door. We all jump, and the bosslady opens the back door a crack. It's our delivery guy, and he doesn't look very happy either, checking over his shoulder constantly as if he'd just escaped from jail and the cops were after him. Now this just serves to make me and the other newbs even more nervous. What the hell is going on?? He unloads the truck as quickly as we can make room for the boxes (200 boxes, when our usual is around 100-150), and then drives out of the lot as if all the hounds of hell were on his heels.

    And this is where things get weird for me. Bosslady checks the manifest, and has us separate a bunch of large boxes to be opened first. She looks at the ASM, who has been working in this store and other T&W's for several years, and says "Zellers won't be getting any until Friday." (Zellers was at the other end of the mall from us.) ASM gets a little paler than her usual West Coast un-tan and actually says 'Shit'. She never swears. Ever. This isn't making me or my other new cohorts feel any less confused, that's for sure. ASM goes out into the store and starts counting in the float, even though it's now only 7 am and we don't open until 9:30. The mall doesn't open even for mallwalkers until 7:30am.

    The rest of us start to open the boxes... and there they are. Staring up at us in their glassy-eyed, round-faced glory. If I'd known then what I know now, I'd have run out the door and never returned. Screw 'Tickle-Me-Elmo', screw Teddy Ruxpin, hell, Barbie couldn't cause mayhem of this magnitude. If you were in retail at that time, in any store that sold toys, you might have already guessed.

    Cabbage Patch Kids... and not just any Cabbage Patch Kids.

    Oh no.

    Cabbage Patch Kids WITH CORNSILK HAIR.

    Do you need the rest of the story? Oh, well, ok....

    Still fairly clueless, us newbs were detailed to unpack all the kids while the more senior staff cleared a section of shelves and space on the riser to put all these dolls. I'm thinking I know they're popular, but are we really going to sell a hundred of these in one day? They were priced at, what, $49.99-ish CDN. It wasn't close to Christmas, so I'm thinking someone at the warehouse just sent us too many. Now if only the ASM would stop twitching at every imagined noise from the dark and silent mall outside our clear plastic folding gate.

    By 8am the mall lights are on and there are people moving around: employees coming in to work, mall maintenance staff, mallwalkers in their Reeboks, elbows pumping industriously, mall security.. bzuh? Security? At this time of day? Why are they coming HERE? I watch as they nod at the ASM and just hang around outside our door, all FOUR of them. The Manager has disappeared into the back to make coffee and probably psyche herself up in preparation for the day (aka stand outside the back door and smoke half a pack before opening, instead of her usual single smoke). The rest of us are divided between tidying the store and receiving the rest of the stock, but we're all keeping an eye on the door now... now that a few people are definitely lingering in the mall not far away. All women, btw. Ok, I'm thinking it'll be a bit busy for a weekday (yes, I was naive and inexperienced, already established).

    By 9am there is a distinct crowd outside, impatient and restless and starting to bitch about us not being open yet. This is new. We've never had an audience before opening, not even on Saturdays.

    I had no idea what would happen once we opened the door.

    Stampede. A thundering herd that damn near trampled us poor cowpokes trying to keep order. By 10am *I* was crouched on TOP of the riser, not just standing on the ladder (since it had been nearly pushed out from under me by that point and I was scared shitless), tossing down boxes to the ravening horde. There were no kids that morning, only women, screaming and getting into fights (a few were hauled away by Security for going completely berserk), especially once all the blonde-haired dolls were gone. My manager usually kept the cows in line with just a look or a stern word, but today even her 'boss-vibe' was having no effect.

    It wasn't Christmas, or I might have understood the frenzy a little easier. These dolls weren't for the children of these women, either. I could have understood it if they were, maybe, even if MY mom never, ever dreamed of acting like THAT. No, these women wanted these horrid dolls for themselves, so they could 'register the adoption' with those cute little packets that came with the dolls, and get a 'birthday card' every year.

    Oh, and we sold every last scrap of related merchandise, clothing sets, 'doll toys', etc. Even packs of CPK stickers. The dolls were gone by 10:00, everything else by 11am, and I needed someone to go find the ladder so I could get down. A 10-ft riser is a bit too far to jump onto a carpet-covered concrete floor in dressy shoes, even for a monkey like I was then. I could barely get down the ladder, I was shaking so bad. (I may have mentioned in a comment or two in the past that I was born with and continue to struggle with a disorder very like Aspergers Syndrome, and one thing I did not and still do not deal well with is crowds of excited people.) My wonderful boss ordered pizza and pop in and we took turns eating while we cleaned up the absolute disaster that was our normally well-ordered store.

    For the rest of the day we had excitable (I'm being charitable, bitchy freak-out is probably closer) women storming in, seeing our lack of the holy-shopping-grail-of-the-week, and having a complete tantrum about it. Bosslady's attitude was approximately 'Snooze ya lose, oh and Zellers will be getting some in Friday, why don't you go there? (evil smirk)'. She really didn't like people upsetting her staff. REALLY didn't like it, and a day like this definitely had her in 'shoot-to-kill' mode.

    I almost wished I could have been scheduled to work that Friday, just to hang out near Zellers and watch the riot that ensued when THEY sold out too. I heard that it was pretty bad, though.

    And when we finally got to go home at the end of our shifts, my boss handed us $5 vouchers for the food court in the mall (considering at that time minimum wage was $4.75CDN, a nice gesture), paid for out of her OWN pocket, and said:

    "You've all done very well!"

    And when SHE says it, you know bloody well you've done a good job, because she wouldn't say it if you didn't. (OK, obvious 'Are you Being Served?' reference, but she DID say it just like that )

    (Fade to black)
    What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

  • #2
    The fact that you kept your sanity on a day like that speaks volumes about your mental integrity. I know, full well, that If i had been there as an employee, I probably would have snapped at some point. (I really don't like crowds, but I tend to mentally 'lock up' when getting an information Overload; eg. 100+ Loud, howling Yard apes in dresses demanding something that just went out of stock)

    Comment


    • #3
      The title of this thread reminds me of...

      ...um...

      ...never mind. I'll go find a nice gutter to occupy.

      Preferably one that isn't full of loshka yet.

      (Loshka is a local term for the wet slush that collects in the gutters when the drains are blocked with snow. It predictably shows up most frequently at pedestrian crossings, and is then usually too wide to stride or even jump across without getting cold wet feet.)

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      • #4
        Chromatix, I hate to sound like a grammar nazi but it's loska, not with the sh but a normal s. Pronounced something like loss-ka.

        And yes, slush is irritating at 7 in the morning as you are running to the bus stop hoping to catch the last bus getting you to work in time, and then in the darkness (ok ok, we have street lighting) you very suddenly feel your feet are getting damp and cold. As an added bonus the crossroads is very slippery and you fall arms or back or face first in the slush. What a perfect beginning for a day... Not.
        A man can be stupid and not know it, but not if he is married.

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        • #5
          Your boss is a goddess.
          Labor boards have info on local laws for free
          HR believes the first person in the door
          Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
          Document everything
          CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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          • #6
            Ah, I did wonder why it didn't follow the normal Finnish conventions. I must have remembered the Russian version of it, or something.

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            • #7
              I say it again

              I say it again:

              The show "Jingle all the Way".

              It was not a Comedy.

              It was not a Movie.

              It was a Documentary.

              Check out http://www.youtube.com/results?searc...le+all+the+Way if you don't believe me.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Chromatix View Post
                The title of this thread reminds me of...

                ...um...

                ...never mind. I'll go find a nice gutter to occupy.


                I fully realized how that could have been interpreted even before I hit 'submit'. I left it that way anyway.
                What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

                Comment


                • #9
                  Mharbourgirl, excellent post. It read more like a short story than a forum post, and I very much enjoyed it.
                  Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

                  http://www.dywhcomic.com

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                  • #10
                    Quoth wagegoth View Post
                    Your boss is a goddess.
                    She truly was. Divorced, two teenage daughters and tough as nails. But far more understanding of peoples' limits AND potential than any boss I've had since. I learned a lot, and if I'm ever a boss (unlikely, but you never know) I will do my best to follow her example. </sentimental tangent>

                    Quoth Salted Grump View Post
                    The fact that you kept your sanity on a day like that speaks volumes about your mental integrity. I know, full well, that If i had been there as an employee, I probably would have snapped at some point. (I really don't like crowds, but I tend to mentally 'lock up' when getting an information Overload; eg. 100+ Loud, howling Yard apes in dresses demanding something that just went out of stock)
                    I think I was just too stunned to know how to react, honestly. I'd never in my life seen anything like it. Working in the mall was good for me, stressful as it was at times. I was TOO introverted by that point in my life, and even events like this one were a blessing in disguise. It brought me out of my shell and gave me some actual confidence and social skills. Ten years later I gave up retail when I realized I was one stupid comment away from opening my mouth and telling the cows what I really thought of them. Which was a serious improvement, believe me.
                    What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

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                    • #11
                      Oh man, I worked in a toy store in Salt Lake the year before those came out. The regular dolls were bad enough, but I'm forever grateful that I quit before those "special" dolls came out.
                      Great storytelling btw.

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                      • #12
                        Now I've got this image in my head of me perched on top of the shelves, cackling like mad and yelling "Dance, dance for your pretty toys!!!"
                        The High Priest is an Illusion!

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                        • #13
                          Hm. I had one of those dolls. I walked into the store, asked the clerk politely to get it down for me, paid* and happily went on my way. (I was, what, 13 at the time, maybe a bit old for dolls, but I had that one for fifteen years)

                          *I had seen the dolls earlier in the day and asked my Dad if I could do some extra chores to earn money for one. I will never forget the joy on his face as he opened his wallet and gave me a $50 bill; you have to understand, my family had been bloody poor for a long time, and Dad was feeling a bit beaten down and sad at being unable to give his daughters what he had hoped to. But this time, he'd just been given a bonus at work, and being able to indulge us kids was a total thrill. That's why I kept the doll for so long (my mom made the most amazing clothes for it, too!).

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                          • #14
                            I remember seeing security cam videos of that sort of stuff on the news. Yes, of poor, terrified employees perched on the risers, tossing boxes of Cabbage Patch Kids out into the ravening horde to appease it, if just for a moment, and buy them a few more precious moments of life.

                            Could you imagine what it would have been like had eBay existed back then?
                            Check out my webcomic!

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                            • #15
                              I was attending Colorado State and was about to leave for Christmas break when I heard this story on the news. Some store in a Denver mall was getting a shipment of the CP dolls and decided to make life easier by giving people a number as they showed up and allowing only two at a time into the store. (Avoided the stampede in the store, but not the brawls outside. They stopped handing out the numbers when all the dolls were spoken for.)

                              Anyway, this guy goes and gets his doll, then proceeds out to his car in the parking lot and stands on top of it and yells to get everyone's attention, then proceeds to RIP THE DOLL TO SHREDS, causing a riot.

                              I laughed my ass off on that one. Turns out he was arrested for disturbing the peace, but was dismissed since the judge said that if he owned the doll, it was his to destroy. They interviewed him and he said he was just trying to make a point of how STUPID people were being over a doll.

                              He got death threats for months after that.
                              If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
                              --Woodrow Willson

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