Lots of pensioners sound like teenage boys... (long)

[Gingernut]

Had an absolute moron today. I sell gas and electricity policies, and every now and then I start an early shift to take calls from people wanting to join our over sixties plan. We actually open our lines an hour early for the over sixties calls because they don't understand the concept of business hours, but it generates business and the office is used by other firms who are in at that time so it doesn't cost the company much to do. At that time of day though we only really need one person manning the phones as there aren't usually a huge number of calls, so when it's my turn to do the shift all the calls come to me.

Me
Moron- self-explanatory

Me: Thanks for calling <over-sixties policy>, how can I help?
Moron: I'd like to join.
Me: (thinking this guy sounds about 15), OK, are you over sixty?
Moron: WTF? No, I'm 19!
Me: Ok, well <over-sixties policy> is for people over sixty.
Moron: Well I used to be on it when I lived at my nan's house.
Me: and how old is your nan?
Moron: 63
Me: there you go then.
Moron: Well if I was on it then, you should let me be on it now.
Me: I'm sorry, but the terms of the policy require that at least one person permanently resident in the property be over sixty.
Moron: But I want to join!

This goes round in circles until he finally gives up and hangs up whilst I'm mid-sentence.

Two seconds later...

Me: Thanks for calling <over-sixties policy>, how can I help?
Moron: I want to join <over-sixties policy>
Me: (thinking it's the same guy ) OK then, could I ask how old you are?
Moron: 19.
Me: OK, well <over-sixties policy> is only for people over sixty, do you have any pensioners living with you?
Moron: hangs up

A minute later, the exact same conversation. I don't think he noticed it was me answering all three calls. Five minutes later, he calls back again and has another long argument. And then about two seconds later...

Me: Thanks for calling <over-sixties policy>, how can I help?
Moron: I want to join <over-sixties policy>.
Me: (thinks Oh for goodness' sake) Ok then, could I ask how old you are?
Moron: 60.
Me: ... Oh-kayyy, but I did actually speak to you earlier and you said you were 19.
Moron: I haven't called you today, it was probably someone else.
Me: Well actually we have caller ID here so I can see from my screen that you did call us.
Moron: hangs up

And just when I was lured into thinking he had gone, ten minutes later I get a 'caller ID withheld' number, and guess what...

Me: Thanks for calling <over-sixties policy>, how can I help?
Moron: I want to join <over-sixties policy>
Me: (thinks it's not even a good policy. Get over it.). Ok, could I ask how old you are?
Moron: 79
Me: Sir, I've spoken to you a number of times this morning and I'm afraid I can't offer you this policy because you're only 19. I could transfer you to another department if you'd like to hear about some policies you'd be eligible for.
Moron: You're probably just confusing me with another caller. I have a young sounding voice.
Me: (thinks I'm never gonna get rid of this guy) Oh right, my mistake. Well if I just take some details then we can set up a quote for you.
...humour him taking details so we have a record of him if he tries it again, which I'm sure he will. In the process when I ask for his phone number he gives me the same number which was on my caller ID in the first five calls. He also gives me a date of birth which makes him 76 instead of 79. I don't comment, then ask 'and do you have your national insurance number handy so we can verify your date of birth?'
Moron: hangs up.

I'm not doubting he probably rang back with a made up NI insurance number (and actually we don't ask for them as we don't have the facilities to check his age that way anyway) but thankfully my hour was up then so it was someone else's problem. The stupid thing is the policy is not at all good, especially for someone his age. He'd probably be better off with any other policy we had to offer.

[DevilBoy]

We actually open our lines an hour early for the over sixties calls because they don't understand the concept of business hours

Apparently, neither does your employer.

[depechemodefan]

I wish his nan had taught him not to be a douchebag. Probably not her fault, unless nan taught him it's ok to lie.

[crazylegs]

I'm pretty sure the OP is in the UK, thing is if the kid does succeed somewhere in getting the deal then he will actually commit fraud under the current legislation.

That'll be a real kick in the teeth!

[Chromatix]

...and if he tries to claim on the policy, it will be invalid because of the fraud. So he'd have been paying his premiums for no coverage.

[Gingernut]

I don't know if he would be breaking the law (although I'm pretty sure he'd be infringing something if he did ring back and give a fake NI number) as it's gas and electric which is not as heavily regulated as say the insurance industry. He wouldn't have a leg to stand on regarding us re-charging him though.

Although funnily enough our standard line is that if customers knowingly lie to get on our policy and we find out, we then recalculate what they owe based on a standard tariff and charge the difference. But in this case unless he was the world's laziest, coldest teenager, the policy really actually wouldn't benefit him and in theory the recalculation would show that we owed him money.

[crazylegs]

I don't know if he would be breaking the law

Yes, he would. He is supplying false information in attempt to get a different service to that which he is entitled to.