Oh the joys of people drinking at Christmas!
I'm a critic!!
Our supplies have been a bit low recently. They always are on the run up to Christmas, which means we are frequently running out of things. This lady came along.
SC: Hi there, I would like to order steak and kidney pie.
Me: I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid we are all out of the pie.
SC: OK, what is your alternative?
Me: OK, well I can recommend the cajjun chicken. I quite like that.
SC: I don't want that! I want a pie! What alternative pie do you have?
Me: Well...we don't. We are all out of pie.
SC: You HAVE to have an alternative pie.
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't.
SC: You HAVE to! I know! It's the law that you have to provide an alternative to EVERYTHING on your menu.
Me: I don't think that's true...
SC: It is! I know! I'm in the business as well you know! I write reviews!
Me: OK, but we are still out of pie.
SC: So you are not giving me an alternative?
Me: No.
SC: Fine. I'll have the cajjun chicken, but I am going to write the most damning review of this place!
Me: I look forward to reading it.
Yeah bitch. I look forward to reading your next "review" No doubt it'll probably be some whiny blog on myspace.
I'll wait for you!!
A drunk girl was wandering around the bar, and it was so obvious she was trying to pick a fight with someone. She was going up to large groups of student girls, and purposely barging into them, shrieking "Watch what you're fucking doing!" each time, hoping to get a response.
I was pissed off.
Her boyfriend came up to the bar.
SC: Two double vodka red bulls.
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't want your girlfriend in here anymore. She's obviously drunk and trying to start a fight.
SC: What?! That's ridiculous! Give me what I asked for now!
Me: No. I'm sorry, you will be getting no more service in here tonight.
SC: Look, she's only behaving like that because she's wasted.
Me: And giving her a double vodka red bull will help her sober up?
SC: Don't talk to me like that.
Me: OK. But you are still not getting served.
SC: You're a fucking dick! Just you wait until this place closes! I'm going to wait all night! I've got all night! I'll wait for you! Me and you, outside, when this place closes.
Me: I look forward to it. Wait outside.
SC: I will pal! Just you wait!
It was four hours before we closed. Ten minutes later, he lost patience and left.
Order earlier next time!
A guy comes in and orders a medium rare steak, three minutes before we stop serving food. The kitchen had been dead all night, virtually nothing was going out. So the kitchen was as good as closed. All they had to do was mop the floor and they were off home.
So, they were not impressed when a steak came through. But they made it anyway. It was good, nothing wrong with it. They sent it out (whilst also mopping the floor) and that was it. They were off home.
TWENTY minutes after the customer gets his meal, he wants to complain.
SC: This steak is too well done for me. I want a new one.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, but the kitchen is closed now. The staff have gone home for the day. I can't get you a new steak, but I am more than happy to give you a refund if it is not to your liking.
SC: I'd rather have a new one.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't do that at this time.
SC: Fine, I'll take the refund, but I don't understand why I can't just get a new one.
Yeah idiot. The times we serve food are pasted everywhere. We serve food ten hours a day, and you had to wait until three minutes before the end for a steak? Then wait TWENTY minutes to discover it wasn't to your liking? There was no way I was firing up the grills just to make you a new one.
Little Children
I am now a firm believer that the drinking age in the UK should be raised from 18 to 21. Because these people drinking in the bar were not adults. They were children.
They looked very young, so we asked them all for I.D. All checked it, it was actually an eighteenth birthday party. Everything was fine, until I went over to clear their table.
The birthday boy was passed out in the corner, sitting in a pile of his own vomit.
Me: Right, how long has he been like that?!
Kid: About five minutes.
Me: Right, I'm calling a cab. Take him home.
Kid: What? Can't you just throw him out?
Me: No! If I throw him out and he gets run over, that's me getting arrested for invoulentrary manslaughter. He's either going home in a cab or the back of a police van. Chose.
Kid: Fine, we'll take him.
I threw a cloth at them.
Me: And clean him up.
Kid: I don't see why we should have to look after him. It's so unfair!
They really were good friends.
I'm a critic!!
Our supplies have been a bit low recently. They always are on the run up to Christmas, which means we are frequently running out of things. This lady came along.
SC: Hi there, I would like to order steak and kidney pie.
Me: I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid we are all out of the pie.
SC: OK, what is your alternative?
Me: OK, well I can recommend the cajjun chicken. I quite like that.
SC: I don't want that! I want a pie! What alternative pie do you have?
Me: Well...we don't. We are all out of pie.
SC: You HAVE to have an alternative pie.
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't.
SC: You HAVE to! I know! It's the law that you have to provide an alternative to EVERYTHING on your menu.
Me: I don't think that's true...
SC: It is! I know! I'm in the business as well you know! I write reviews!
Me: OK, but we are still out of pie.
SC: So you are not giving me an alternative?
Me: No.
SC: Fine. I'll have the cajjun chicken, but I am going to write the most damning review of this place!
Me: I look forward to reading it.
Yeah bitch. I look forward to reading your next "review" No doubt it'll probably be some whiny blog on myspace.
I'll wait for you!!
A drunk girl was wandering around the bar, and it was so obvious she was trying to pick a fight with someone. She was going up to large groups of student girls, and purposely barging into them, shrieking "Watch what you're fucking doing!" each time, hoping to get a response.
I was pissed off.
Her boyfriend came up to the bar.
SC: Two double vodka red bulls.
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't want your girlfriend in here anymore. She's obviously drunk and trying to start a fight.
SC: What?! That's ridiculous! Give me what I asked for now!
Me: No. I'm sorry, you will be getting no more service in here tonight.
SC: Look, she's only behaving like that because she's wasted.
Me: And giving her a double vodka red bull will help her sober up?
SC: Don't talk to me like that.
Me: OK. But you are still not getting served.
SC: You're a fucking dick! Just you wait until this place closes! I'm going to wait all night! I've got all night! I'll wait for you! Me and you, outside, when this place closes.
Me: I look forward to it. Wait outside.
SC: I will pal! Just you wait!
It was four hours before we closed. Ten minutes later, he lost patience and left.
Order earlier next time!
A guy comes in and orders a medium rare steak, three minutes before we stop serving food. The kitchen had been dead all night, virtually nothing was going out. So the kitchen was as good as closed. All they had to do was mop the floor and they were off home.
So, they were not impressed when a steak came through. But they made it anyway. It was good, nothing wrong with it. They sent it out (whilst also mopping the floor) and that was it. They were off home.
TWENTY minutes after the customer gets his meal, he wants to complain.
SC: This steak is too well done for me. I want a new one.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, but the kitchen is closed now. The staff have gone home for the day. I can't get you a new steak, but I am more than happy to give you a refund if it is not to your liking.
SC: I'd rather have a new one.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't do that at this time.
SC: Fine, I'll take the refund, but I don't understand why I can't just get a new one.
Yeah idiot. The times we serve food are pasted everywhere. We serve food ten hours a day, and you had to wait until three minutes before the end for a steak? Then wait TWENTY minutes to discover it wasn't to your liking? There was no way I was firing up the grills just to make you a new one.
Little Children
I am now a firm believer that the drinking age in the UK should be raised from 18 to 21. Because these people drinking in the bar were not adults. They were children.
They looked very young, so we asked them all for I.D. All checked it, it was actually an eighteenth birthday party. Everything was fine, until I went over to clear their table.
The birthday boy was passed out in the corner, sitting in a pile of his own vomit.
Me: Right, how long has he been like that?!
Kid: About five minutes.
Me: Right, I'm calling a cab. Take him home.
Kid: What? Can't you just throw him out?
Me: No! If I throw him out and he gets run over, that's me getting arrested for invoulentrary manslaughter. He's either going home in a cab or the back of a police van. Chose.
Kid: Fine, we'll take him.
I threw a cloth at them.
Me: And clean him up.
Kid: I don't see why we should have to look after him. It's so unfair!
They really were good friends.
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