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  • #1

    Strange kid

    Here's a tale from long ago at my Staples...


    Many years ago I was helping a customer who wanted to buy a printer. He had his daughter with him. She couldn't have been more than 8 years old. She seemed perfectly normal.

    Right in the middle of me telling the guy the features of the printer, this child LICKS MY SHIRT!

    Yes, you read that right. Some random child LICKED my uniform shirt. Right on my stomach. I don't think this kid was 'special' in any way, she just randomly licked me.

    Her dad never even noticed.

    I tried to ignore it, but every last piece of information in my brain evaporated after that. I don't remember if I sold the printer, my brain checked out for the night.

    RECREATION:
    <me> This printer is an all in one. You can print, fax, scan and *LICK* um... print. On paper... and stuff... words... pictures... paper... good... you buy now?


    Anyone else have something weird happen like that?
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Awwww...Its because youre so Sweet!!!!!!!



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    • #3
      Greetings follow (former?) Staples Slave!!!

      Can't say I've ever had a kid lick my uniform shirt, but if your shirt was anything like mine, then that must have been pretty gross, because my shirts get mighty dirty.
      "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

      RIP Plaidman.

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      • #4
        Haven't been licked... yet...

        But I have been 'felt up' by a 6 year old!

        Working kids shoes one day. We're taught to get down 'on their level' so I am kneeling and the little 'guy' is trying out the shoes. His mom tells him to 'take a lap' so the kid takes off around the shop, seeing how 'fast' the shoes are.

        I'm still kneeling when...

        The six year old slams to a halt behind me. Reaches around me quicker than you can blink and GRABS MY BREASTS WITH BOTH HANDS!!! Though my work shirt, mind you, but still!!!

        And this was in no way a, 'wowI'verunsofastandplowedintothislady' grab. The little turd purposely did it. I about crapped my pants.

        Of course, the mom was oblivious... le sigh...
        Just to cut off any helpful suggestions: This woman was not blind, nor disabled. She was just a bitch. - Boozy

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        • #5
          I had a small boy, old enough to know better, kick in the bathroom stall door RAMBO-style while I was using it.

          *kick**SLAM*
          angry me: EXCUSE YOU! *slam shut*

          And no, his mom didn't say a word to him.
          "I, too, am saddened by the lack of hookers in this thread." -LingualMonkey

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          • #6
            Don't consider myself a doctor, but I've read a lot of David Sedaris, and he says he licked things all the time as a kid. He said he was OCD, and something in his brain told him to do these things (like licking light switches)--also, I think he said he had Tourette's. He claims that after he started smoking, all those symptoms went away.

            I've heard that they've been trying some kind of nicotine-like drug on Tourette's sufferers, too.

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            • #7
              Quoth Can I Help Your A$$? View Post
              I've heard that they've been trying some kind of nicotine-like drug on Tourette's sufferers, too.
              In California, I think if you've been diagnosed with Tourette's, then you can also get a medical license to purchase Marijuana. Supposedly it suppresses the ticks.

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              • #8
                I can just imagine that. "Duuude... this f***in' sh** is so mellow, mother****er..."

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