"Hello and good evening, I'm Dick Thornberg, and tonight's biggest story, and this will hit close to home for all you Christmas shoppers out there, oh yessir......be careful out there, all you Wal-Mart shoppers.....Wal-Mart has been lying to and deceiving their customers! They will in fact, NOT have every single lane available this Christmas season.........well smack my ass and call me Sally! Will Dilly is on the scene at the local Wal-Mart with some very agitated customers! Will?"
"Yes, Dick!?"
"Will, what are most people's feelings today in this TRAGEDY?"
"Well Dick, it isn't good. Christmas is RUINED. For EVERYONE! There are children crying, women tearing each other apart with their acrylic nails, and men bashing one another over the head with fake plants, then farting on one another. It isn't good, Dick, it isn't good!"
"Yes, Dick!?"
"Will, what are most people's feelings today in this TRAGEDY?"
"Well Dick, it isn't good. Christmas is RUINED. For EVERYONE! There are children crying, women tearing each other apart with their acrylic nails, and men bashing one another over the head with fake plants, then farting on one another. It isn't good, Dick, it isn't good!"
Comment