Abject Chaos

[Rapscallion]

Has anyone else even been caught singing along with the hold music?

Er, got caught playing a glockenspiel to it once...

Not so long ago, either.

Rapscallion

[Gravekeeper]

Er, got caught playing a glockenspiel to it once...

Not so long ago, either.

Rapscallion

My mental image of you grows increasingly bizarre with every passing day...

[Rapscallion]

It was an alarm call out about two weeks back. Normally, some bugger leaves a window open and the temperature changes significantly at 2am or some other misbegotten time. I'm second on the callout list, and the first has had a few instances of sick recently, so...

Anyway, I had to call up the company from the reception desk to get it reset remotely (monitored alarm), and I ended up on hold for ten minutes. There was a toy glockenspiel there, which someone had bought to irritate warehouse workers with over the tannoy.

An innocent, yet boring, explanation.

I nearly had the music down pat when they answered.

Rapscallion

[Gravekeeper]

An innocent, yet boring, explanation.

Yes but now I have bra + moobs + glockenspiel. All that's missing is a monkey with a little fez on holding a change jar.

[Rapscallion]

Yes but now I have bra + moobs + glockenspiel. All that's missing is a monkey with a little fez on holding a change jar.

Too expensive. They're union.

Rapscallion

[Lil Bunny]

Oy import one from here. Ok so it's actually one of our cast members dressed as one of those monkeys but he does a great job!

(And I have GOT to stop listening to authors from across the pond. I deleted nutter, bollocks and a few bloodies. The oy you can deal with.)

[Buglady]

There's a local centaur? I wanna go ride him.

Aaaand there went MY mind into the gutter...

(Oh come on, I can't be the only one...?)

[SG15Z]

Aaaand there went MY mind into the gutter...

(Oh come on, I can't be the only one...?)

Don't worry you're not alone. It's ok the gutter is our friend!

[Jester]

I don't drink.

That's probably the problem. =p

As someone who does drink (it may have been mentioned in here once or twice), I have to say that that most definitely is the problem. As the great Homer Simpson says, "Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."

Yes but now I have bra + moobs + glockenspiel. All that's missing is a monkey with a little fez on holding a change jar.

As you wish:

[Javarod]

Aaaand there went MY mind into the gutter...

(Oh come on, I can't be the only one...?)

Of course you are, after all, we're all pure as the driven snow.

[Rapscallion]

Have you ever seen snow that's been driven on?

Rapscallion

[Gravekeeper]

Have you ever seen snow that's been driven on?

Rapscallion

Sort of grimy, unpleasant, hard to walk over but easy to fall on top of and makes its way into your underwear in a matter of seconds afterwords?

[Rapscallion]

Yup - that just about describes me.

Rapscallion

[Slytovhand]

Planning ahead... how about people ringing to pay for something, and not knowing what they are paying for, nor having a credit card ready..??? Happens every shift!

Where??? multiple times a shift, I will get "From here to the airport". They don't pay me either for the use of my clairvoyance. Perhaps I should just charge the standard rate for a round trip from Canada??

[Eric the Grey]

Put it Down

Me: “Good evening, <industrial company>.”
SC: “Are you a Jenny Craig consultant?”
Me: “….no, you have the wrong number. Sorry.”
SC: “This isn’t Jenny Craig?”
Me: “No.”

I’ve been mistaken for a lot of things over the years: Taxi dispatch, phone sex operator, World of Warcraft Tech Support ( Ironically on this *same line* ), but Jenny Craig is a new one. Why are you even calling Jenny Craig at 2 in the morning anyway? Are you having a Cookie Crisis and need immediate snack avoidance counseling? Because I can actually help you there:

Put the cookie down.

You do WoW tech support too? You are a man of many talents. You should post your number here for us to call and ask our many, many questions. . .

I will now be marked for death....

There's a local centaur? I wanna go ride him.

Aaaand there went MY mind into the gutter...

(Oh come on, I can't be the only one...?)

Oh no, not by a long shot. Mind, meet gutter....


Eric the Grey