How to get yourself banned from my store...

[fireheart]

And no, this is not Drunken Hobo Guy, although I plan on somehow reading the lovely notes about him somehow....

1. Come into the store and attempt to steal $400 worth of groceries (not for profit btw).
2. When cashiers ask to check your bags, reveal receipts for correct items, but incorrect dates and times. (i.e. it would be 5pm on a Saturday and the receipt is for 4pm Thursday)
3. Get charged and escorted from the store in lovely silver bracelets and three boys and girls in blue.
4. Come back 2 weeks later at night, when you THINK it's busy but is actually quiet.
5. Attempt to steal a cooler bag of groceries. Fail to dump them at any point. You now don the cloak of I AM A SHOPLIFTER, which gives you +5 stupidity and -5 intelligence.
6. Come through my very intelligent coworkers register and proceed to have all items checked by SSM.
7. Cooler bag is discovered.
8. YOU ARE NOW BANNED!!!



Also another slightly sucky gem:

SC to me and my sup in a very rude and arrogant tone: Bananas! Give me bananas!
Me/Sup:
We both point to produce and he scuttles off. Sup rings SSM and goes "Hey, do we have bananas? We had a customer ask us for bananas and I think he's a bit bananas..." Nobody was around at the time to hear her say that one! (I would've found them if he wasn't so rude)

He came through my line later. Paid, scuttled out. Of course, I had to have the last word on that one:

Me: Hey um Sup? I think he found his bananas! (he had some)

[bainsidhe]

Had a small group of customers come through with a LOT of bananas. As in, the shopping cart over flowing and boxes of bananas also slid underneath. Yes, an entire shopping cart packed to the brim with bananas. So I had to ask, "Um, If I can ask, what are all the bananas for?" Nice lady looks at me and tells me "Badminton". Wha?? So I probe a little further in my confusion, wondering what in the world badminton has to do with bananas, let alone THAT many of the lovely yellow fruit. She realized how weird her answer sounded and burst out laughing. She then explained they sell the bananas at her school during the match as a nice, healthy snack alternative. Still, gotta admit it was fun ringing through that much fruit.

[draggar]

So many comments, so little space to post.

[marlovino]

So many comments, so little space to post.

how about a quick small comment?

[smileyeagle1021]

*ears perk*
Bananas

oh, you really did mean the fruit

[Imogene]

SC to me and my sup in a very rude and arrogant tone: Bananas! Give me bananas!

Did he perhaps buy condoms as well? Cause that almost sounds like something XKCD might do...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time....

[ditchdj]

Yeah but "people" like that will still insist that they didn't get themselves banned. YOU got them banned. Just like when a teacher writes up a student for being a complete disruptive tool for the 12th time and they get suspended for it: The teacher is ALWAYS known as "The one that got them suspended".

[Peppergirl]

6. Come through my very intelligent coworkers register and proceed to have all items checked by SSM.
7. Cooler bag is discovered.
8. YOU ARE NOW BANNED!!!

Why did it take a SECOND shoplifting to get him banned? Are first time shoplifters welcome back?

[Stryker One]

Also another slightly sucky gem:

SC to me and my sup in a very rude and arrogant tone: Bananas! Give me bananas!
Me/Sup:
We both point to produce and he scuttles off. Sup rings SSM and goes "Hey, do we have bananas? We had a customer ask us for bananas and I think he's a bit bananas..." Nobody was around at the time to hear her say that one! (I would've found them if he wasn't so rude)

He came through my line later. Paid, scuttled out. Of course, I had to have the last word on that one:

Me: Hey um Sup? I think he found his bananas! (he had some)

He may have found his bananas, but his marbles are long gone.

[fireheart]

Why did it take a SECOND shoplifting to get him banned? Are first time shoplifters welcome back?

Ummm, she was female and I have no clue why she came back. Some of us weren't there the first time around so we didn't get a picture of her to look at.

[RetailWorkhorse]

*ears perk*
Bananas

....Hammock?

[Peppergirl]

Ummm, she was female and I have no clue why she came back. Some of us weren't there the first time around so we didn't get a picture of her to look at.

Oops...sorry.

[fireheart]

No probs Pep. I try not to mention all the details with shoplifters just in case work checks this board (which I doubt).
Also, every so often the LP team publishes a list of shopliftings and internal thefts mostly to demonstrate how the internal theft hotline can be of benefit to us. The most common incidents that crop up are:

-People taking money straight from the drawer and stuffing it in a myriad of places (shoes, pants, pockets etc.)
-People failing to show receipts of items or forgetting to checkseal them (I've been slightly guilty of that on occasion, but I have receipts or I buy stuff that I know our store doesn't sell)
-People stealing the odd bit of stock straight from the area, usually cigarettes, occasionally liquor. One case involved a two-man team stealing cartons of liquor.
-A common one in the earlier months involved two teenage girls printing out phone credit (i.e. minutes) and iTunes vouchers without payment.
-And one case that springs out in mind is that one night, the office cashier finished her count, next morning she discovers that the safe was waaay off but she'd made sure that it balanced the other night. A bit of digging and it turned out that one of the higher managers had stolen all the notes from the drawers. Guess who was out of a job?

[PepperElf]

Peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time....

peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!