Call Center Woes

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

I work for a major bank's call center. The endless supply of stories kind of makes up for the suckiness of the job.

I'm paraphrasing here and there, since sounding professional most of the time just means using more words to say the same thing

I'll be updating this thread with new stuff towards the top

PIB: Person in Background whispering
<<Me>> What I wish I could say

We answer both in English and Spanish and there's a way to differentiate which way they're coming in, identified as Spanish or English through the # they called or the language options they chose.

A Co-Worker had a SC who was... how shall we say this... being very nice to himself while he was on the phone with her. He reached a climax right as he was getting his balance. Needless to say he was very pleased at the end.


The following conversation took place in Spanish:
Me: Greeting. Name and Social please?
SC: Gives me Name and Social
Me: Thank you. How may I help you?
SC: Do you speak Spanish?
<<Me>> ... I thought I was, but apparently not. Let me connect you to someone who can!


Me: May I please have your social security number?
SC: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!?
Me: No. That's why I need your social.


Me: May I have your name please?
SC: April Smith.
Me: And your social security number?
SC: HEY APRIL! What's the social?
Me: Is this your account?
SC: Yes.
Me: But you just asked April for the social.
SC: That's my friend. Her name's April too. It's a very common name.
Me: You are more than welcome to go inside the branch with a picture ID for any information.


Me: May I please verify your date of birth (DOB)?
SC: Hey, what's my DOB?
PIB gives it.
SC gives it.
Me: I am sorry, for account information you would have to go inside the branch.
SC: Why?
Me: Because you just asked somebody else for your DOB.
SC: I can't read so someone had to read it to me. You are discriminating against illiterate people.
<<Me>> Nope, I am discriminating against idiots. Were you there when it (your birth) happened?

S19-year-oldC: You have to reimburse my overdraft fee right now or my dad will pull out all of his millions out of your bank!
<<Me>>Maybe he could have loaned you some money so that you wouldn't be overdrawn?

We had a customer who hasn't called in years that had tons of overdraft fees (ODF) and was always looking for an excuse to get them refunded. We had a plane that was carrying deposits that crashed and he called to get some fees refunded because we were late in processing those deposits.
Me: But you made the deposit on the 15th.
SC: Yes.
Me: And the plane crashed on the 10th.
SC: Yes.
Me: ...

Me: For security purposes may I please verify your password?
SC: What the hell are you talking about? What password?
Me: Second verification question.
SC: How the hell should I know, I only want account balance.
Me: Third verification question.
SC: Stop wasting my time already with these stupid questions and verify me already!
Me: I am sorry you are going to have to go inside a branch with a picture ID for information.
SC: WHY?!

(I wish I were making this up)
SC: I lost my card. You have my address there. When you find it bring it to me. <Click>

SC: Why can't you put GPS trackers on the card? I lose mine all the time!

SC: I went to the branch and they asked me for the first time for a second form of ID. I asked them why and they said because it was policy for withdrawals over $1000. So why did they ask for a second form of ID?
Me: Well... it could be that way if you just used a different branch than the one you normally go to, or a different person assisted you, since they wouldn't be familiar with you.
SC/Me/SC/Me/SC/Me etc.
SC: I am going to sue you and get the NAACP involved. Now connect me to a manager!

SC: I gave my daughter my checkcard with my picture on it and she went to the store and they kept it because they said it wasn't her card!
Me: ...
SC: I want you to talk to the store about what they did!
Me: I can't do that. You would have to contact the store.
SC: I have to contact the store myself to complain about a store employee?
Me: Yes.
SC: WHY?!

Then there was this customer who wanted to file a claim on a checkcard transaction for a party clown. She said the "obstacle course" was a bunch of orange cones and that he only knew how to do a couple of balloon animals. I wish I had kept her account information to follow up on the whether she got her money back or not

SC: WHAT'S THIS CHARGE ON MY ACCOUNT?
Me: Did you rent a car from Enterprise?
SC: THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! WHY ARE YOU ALL UP IN MY PRIVATE STUFF! WHY WAS I CHARGED $300???
Me: Well it's from Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
SC: I AM NOT TAKING THE CAR BACK AND THEY CAN SUE ME OR CALL THE POLICE IF THEY WANT. WHY DID YOU PAY THEM $300 FROM MY MONEY??

Me: May I please verify your password?
SC: You have it right there!! Can't you read??

SC (mad... I forgot the first part of the conversation, I'll post when I remember it... something about a charge): Where are you located??
Me: State in the United States.
SC: That's what's wrong with this country, we're shipping out money outside of the U.S.
Me: No, no, U.S.State in the U.S.
SC: I don't care where the hell you're located.
<<Me>> Then why on earth did you ask in the first place?!?!
SC: I want you to tell me when I can call and get someone who speaks English because I can tell you know how to speak Spanish and I can't understand a word you're saying. They shouldn't let people that know Spanish work there. The only reason you're working today (Christmas Day) was because they wanted to make some money off of you.

Me: Greeting in Spanish.
SC: I don't want the Mexican line, I want the American line.

I am not Mexican, BTW. Still pisses me off. And those who ask if I'm Black. One of these days I'm going to say yes instead of just redirecting the question to account information (and I'm not).

[BookstoreEscapee]

Me: May I please have your social security number?
SC: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!?
Me: No. That's why I need your social.

SC: Stop wasting my time already with these stupid questions and verify me already!

So you're supposed to verify him without him having to answer the verification questions?
OK.

[Trayol]

Wow, these people; their stupidity is both amusing and painful. My god, how were these stupid people able to amass enough money to open a bank account.

SC: I want you to tell me when I can call and get someone who speaks English because I can tell you know how to speak Spanish and I can't understand a word you're saying.

Did he not recall that he was just talking to you and understanding fine?

SC: I went to the branch and they asked me for the first time for a second form of ID. I asked them why and they said because it was policy for withdrawals over $1000. So why did they ask for a second form of ID?
Me: Well... it could be that way if you just used a different branch than the one you normally go to, or a different person assisted you, since they wouldn't be familiar with you.
SC/Me/SC/Me/SC/Me etc.
SC: I am going to sue you and get the NAACP involved. Now connect me to a manager!

What..wait..huh, How?!? Where did race come from?

SC: I want you to talk to the store about what they did!
Me: I can't do that. You would have to contact the store.
SC: I have to contact the store myself to complain about a store employee?
Me: Yes.
SC: WHY?!

I think this is the first time that I've heard of an SC wanting some other worker to be an SC to a worker at a completely different job. Shouldn't the world have imploded or something?

Also to

[Peppergirl]

First off, welcome.


Second,

A Co-Worker had a SC who was... how shall we say this... being very nice to himself while he was on the phone with her. He reached a climax right as he was getting his balance. Needless to say he was very pleased at the end.

I'm almost afraid to ask this, but if she was aware he was doing this during the call, was she not allowed to disconnect? Did she actually have to sit there and put up with this?

I'm rarely speechless....but, but...

shit...that's just beyond words.

[MaggieTheCat]

The first rule in our call center is to never, ever terminate a call (always let the customer hang up first and after a second or two, the agent's line will automatically hang up) UNLESS the customer is being overly abusive (screaming/swearing and will not stop, even after being told the call will be terminated if they don't stop) OR if a customer is being offensive or harassing an agent. We've had a few times where (female) agents were not aware that they are allowed to terminate calls if a customer starts to be inappropriate on the phone, and they've actually sat through several minutes of it before a supervisor realizes what's going on and goes over to tell the agent to end the call.

Man, if you're not allowed to terminate a call for that reason, I dunno what IS a legit reason to hang up on a customer.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

As a former call center slave, I feel your pain.

I had any number of Sup calls that ended up being sup calls simply because the person wanted access to an account and knew none of the security info we needed.

There were also the times I have recounted on here about the douches who, despite the fact I am Canadian and have NO ACCENT and a very good knowledge of english, would STILL DEMAND to be transfered the to the U.S.

Oh and about that no hanging up thing, other centers are like that too.

I remember one call that had to go all the way up to our Call Center manager because the guy refused to speak to any Canadians but for some stupid reason was refusing to hang up the call.

[jerkface11]

SC: I want you to tell me when I can call and get someone who speaks English because I can tell you know how to speak Spanish and I can't understand a word you're saying.

Wow so simply knowing spanish makes you impossible to understand. That's a new one.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Me: For security purposes may I please verify your password?
SC: What the hell are you talking about? What password?
Me: Second verification question.
SC: How the hell should I know, I only want account balance.
Me: Third verification question.
SC: Stop wasting my time already with these stupid questions and verify me already!
Me: I am sorry you are going to have to go inside a branch with a picture ID for information.
SC: WHY?!

Aww, I was hoping the punchline would be that those ARE the answers to his verification questions.

SC: WHAT'S THIS CHARGE ON MY ACCOUNT?
Me: Did you rent a car from Enterprise?
SC: THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! WHY ARE YOU ALL UP IN MY PRIVATE STUFF! WHY WAS I CHARGED $300???
Me: Well it's from Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
SC: I AM NOT TAKING THE CAR BACK AND THEY CAN SUE ME OR CALL THE POLICE IF THEY WANT. WHY DID YOU PAY THEM $300 FROM MY MONEY??

A $300? You got off easy, man. Maybe you can sell it for more to make your bail.

[Rapscallion]

I'm rarely speechless....but, but...

shit...that's just beyond words.

Sounds like he has impeccable timing. I'd doff my cap, were I wearing one.

What? What?

Can anyone here imagine the foreplay he needs?

"One times one is one,
Two times one is two,
<Oh baby, matriculate for me!>"

Rapscallion

[Nurian]

Me: Greeting in Spanish.
SC: I don't want the Mexican line, I want the American line.

I am not Mexican, BTW. Still pisses me off. And those who ask if I'm Black. One of these days I'm going to say yes instead of just redirecting the question to account information (and I'm not).

I am half-Mexican (and very proud of it, I will say ), but because I don't have an accent, everyone I talk to assumes I'm just plain white. Of course, then I get the hate speeches.

I feel your pain, though. We phone monkeys have to stick together. The customers won't be snarky to themselves!

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

Thanks for the welcome I've actually been lurking for over a year and finally decided to post so I feel right at home in this nuthouse

The NAACP lady thought we were asking a second ID because of her race.

We are NEVER allowed to disconnect on a customer, for whatever reason. If a customer is too offensive or for some reason or another we don't want to continue the call (and obnoxious is not a valid reason, unfortunately), we are allowed to hand it over to a manager (please hold while I connect you to a manager that can better assist you) and they CAN hang up on customers.

But we were having too much fun with Pleasure Man passing the second headset around laughing at him while we had him on mute. He didn't take long

A coworker had a doozy this morning. Someone called him to change their address.

CW: What is your street? The street name where you live. On what street do you live.

This goes on for a good six or seven minutes. We were asking him why he just didn't tell them they HAD to have a street name and to call back when they found out what it was. But he wanted to help them. So he asks and asks and asks. Finally someone else gets on the phone (Who am I talking to now?) and he asks them for a street address a few times and finally:

CW: Oh you live on an AVENUE, not a STREET. Sorry about that. <<takes headset off and bangs head on the desk>>


Reminds me of a customer I had:

SC: I want to file a claim. A company charged me when they weren't supposed to.
Me: So you had given the company the card number? (we have to ask because if it's fraud we cancel their card (with their permission), if not we can connect them to claims while leaving the card open).
SC: No I didn't. They just charged me.
Me: How did they know what number to charge?
SC: I don't know, they just charged me.
After a few more minutes of this:
SC: I didn't give them the card number, I gave them the card.
<<me>> You IDIOT, the card number has WHAT embossed on it?

I had a customer who called and said:
SC: I was sleeping and it was 3am and someone was knocking at my back door. I didn't know who could be knocking at my door at 3am and why they were knocking on the back door instead of the front door, so I went and opened the door to find out. They pointed a pistol at me, took my checkcards, cash, checks, etc.

Another customer told me that they were having dinner and their front door wasn't locked so a group of thieves just came in with guns and tied them down and after robbing them told the mom that they were taking her daughter and her checkcard to the ATM and that if for some reason there was no money or the PIN given to them was wrong or the card had been reported stolen, they would kill her daughter. So after they emptied her account and released her daughter, her daughter called her and she called us to file a claim and cancel the checkcard.

SC: Which are the last 9 digits of the card?
Me: Start counting from the right and when you could nine numbers, stop. It's the number starting from there and going to the right.



Me: Greeting.
SC: ...
Me: Hello?
SC: I've been holding 30 minutes, don't hang up on me.
Me: Ok, let me know when you're ready.
......
Me: Hello?
SC: Don't hang up on me.
Me: I won't. How may I help you?
SC: ...
Me: Hello?
SC: I've been waiting for half an hour.
Me: I apologize for the long hold, how may I help you?
SC: I am going to give you a social and you are going to find a business account.
It was the wife's account. So I verify her and after going over a few business account transactions we realize it's another business account. Husband stayed on the line also. SH: Stupid husband. SW: Stupid wife.
Me: Do you have the tax ID number?
SH: I TOLD YOU SHE WAS ROBBED.
Me: How about the account number?
SH: I TOLD YOU SHE WAS ROBBED.
Me: Do you have a phone or online ID?
SH: YOU ARE STARTING TO PISS ME OFF I TOLD YOU SHE WAS ROBBED.
Me: Let's try to find it by name.
I actually do find it, which is a miracle to find a business account my name because "XXXX, LLC." will not appear by searching for XXXX, "XXXX LLC" "XXXX, LLC" "XXXX LLC." Business account have financial denominations (LLC, Inc, Corp, etc.), dots, commas, etc., and to find it it has to be spelled exactly the same with all punctuation marks and abbreviations. But I found it.
Me: Verification question 1.
SH: Answers (and it's SW's account).
Me: I am sorry sir if you answer for her I will not be able to give her account information. Verification question 2.
SH: Answers.
Me: Repeat line two lines above this one. Verification question 3.
SH: Here honey, let's answer in stereo (actual words).
Me: I need for just her to answer. Verification question 4.
SW: I don't want any information, just cancel it.
Me: Certainly. All done. No more use can be done with the card and it is 100% secured.
SW: What was the last transaction?
Me: I can't give you that information without verifying you.
SW: Ok, verify me.
Me: Verification question 5.
SH: You are pissing me off, I already told you she was robbed. Put me to a manager.

So later I ask my manager about it and he said he verified her without any problem. I ask him what did the husband say. He said the husband didn't say a peep during the whole conversation. Then he asks me why I had such a hard time with such an easy call.