Perhaps we could kill all the children?

[Getoutofmylobby]

This lady presented me this morning with two of my favorite situations in hotel customer service: The Demand For An Undeserved Refund and The Unanswerable Question.

Lady: Yes I have a problem. Last night I couldn't get to sleep and i don't feel that i should have to pay.
Me: What exactly happened?
Lady: Don't you have a notebook or something with this stuff written in it?
Me: Well..
Lady: Around 2 in the morning i was woken up by some kids joyriding in the parking lot. They honked their horn and were carrying on. They must have been drunk. I travel alot and i'm a light sleeper and i have been awake ever since.
Me: Did you call the front desk?
Lady: Yes and you people did nothing.
Me: Well i'm sorry you had a bad night but i don't see...
Lady: Does this happen alot?
Me: Um.. I'm sorry?
Lady: Do you always have children joyriding in your parking lots or does it just happen on nights when i'm staying?
Me: Well, it's not unusual--
Lady: Where are the parents?
Me: ...
Lady: Do all the kids in St. Louis act like this?
Me: I don't see how that's possible--
Lady: Are you the manager?
Me: No, but he will be in later today.
Lady: ...
Me: ...
Lady: ...
Me: And i'll be sure to mention your situation to him when he gets in.
Lady: Also mention that i am a Gold Member and also mention the hundereds small ants i have in my room.
Me: I'll be sure t--
<click>

Sure enough she did call the desk during the night and the clerk called the cops--who obviously could do nothing.

[PhotoChick]

Maybe if you travel a lot and are a light sleeper and this "happens every time you stay" you should either pick and new hotel or invest in a new pair of earplug. Idiot

[powerboy]

Surprised that she didn't want the night desk clerk to cover her ears for her, so that she could sleep.

[ShugoAC]

I've got a small white noise machine i bring with me whenever i'm going to be in a hotel. Cost me 50$. You could drop a nuke outside my room and i wouldnt hear a thing and would wake up wondering where the hallway went. And i only travel 2-3 times a year. Mrs. "all the time" needs to invest in some noise cancelling gizmos, or turn on the AC in the room.

My ex was a super light sleeper. Drove me up the wall. She'd be up 10x a night, waking me up too, to investigate odd noises. Turns out our pipes made noises. -_-
Moral of the story is: Parents! Train your kids correctly. Do as my mother did and vacuum in their room after they go to bed and they'll get used to it. Then they will sleep all night long without being annoying.

[Imogene]

I have a tendency to stay up all manner of hours of the night, wearing down my body, so my mind doesn't linger on the little sounds I hear as I try to sleep. Sometimes, that includes wearing out my mind with puzzles...

[NightWatch]

I'm a magical, mystical beast (per my friends) who is asleep before I hit the pillow. I can sleep simply because I want to (that's right, I don't even have to be tired!) and through most disturbances. Although if music is playing at any volume, that keeps me up. I can fall alseep to the TV, but not quiet music. Go figure.
Oh, and I'm known to sit up, open my eyes, and have full coherent conversations and have no recollection of this occurence. So don't let me fool ya.

[mattm04]

why yes, on the night you are staying we call up all the trouble makers and ask them to come down and cause problems.

You called the PD, what more can you do?

That ant issue sounded like a last minute idea. If you will call the front desk about parking lot noise than I would think you would call about hundreds of ants.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

You know I can recall several nights that drunken yahoos have woken me up by hovering just outside the hotel where I was staying, but rather than bitch to the hotel management about it, I just accepted I wasn't going to get a great nights sleep that night and put up with it.

There are some things the hotel just can't control (in both of my experiences the disruptive drunks were near but NOT on Hotel property).

[thehippie777]

I feel...your....pain. The light sleepers. Had a lady who was a Diamond who wore eat plugs and the whole nine-yards and still claimed to hear doors being slammed. So sorry about this guest! SC was kinda outa line.

"Yes! All the kids were are jackasses & yes we also call them & make sure they are on their way to wake you up cuz I LIVE for getting yelled at!!!!"

[rerant]

Hotel = a place to park your ass for the night.
If you can't sleep that's your own damn problem.

[Hyndis]

Moral of the story is: Parents! Train your kids correctly. Do as my mother did and vacuum in their room after they go to bed and they'll get used to it. Then they will sleep all night long without being annoying.

My mom did that when we were kids.

My sister slept through the '89 earthquake.

[Jester]

Okay, lady, the hotel called the cops.

What the fark else would you have them do?

"Oh, Madame, our humblest apologies for the ruckus those young ruffians cause. We assure you that the next time they come within a hundred yards of our establishment, we shall have our private security patrol launch rocket propelled grenades into their vehicles and blow them to smithereens, so that you won't be disturbed another moment."

Is that what you were expecting, toots?

Because it is NOT FUCKING HAPPENING.

The hotel should be expected to provide you with a secure and comfortable stay, within their control. The local populace of young noisemakers is NOT within their control, unless said youngsters actually are employed by said hotel. And since they are apparently NOT, go piss up a rope.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That lady needs to invest in some earplugs, or turn on the heater/fan/AC so there's some background noise.

I always need background noise to sleep, be it a fan or a humidifier or something.

And then when she doesn't get the answer she wants she brings up the ants? How convenient.