"I Don't Work Here" megathread

[ditchdj]

I get this all the time where I work....customers will try to butt in front of staff members who are on a break and trying to get a sandwich and juice from the kiosk. They think the staff should just step aside and let them go first....jeez if we did that, no one would get fed all the staff would starve to death and then who is going to serve them and pander to their ever increasingly outrageous demands!

Hey didnt someone on here say that you guys were just mindless, programmable robots that dont need food or breaks and can be summoned at anyone's beck and call no matter what???

[Lace Neil Singer]

This happened yesterday. It's my day off, and I had nothing planned cept for having my hair done, so I'm dressed in black trousers, trainers, a Bon Jovi t-shirt, Emily Strange scarf and Slipknot hoodie. After my hair appointment, I decided to nip down to the local co-op for magazines; only to have a woman tap me on the shoulder while looking at said magazines. "Where's the milk?" Me: "Use your eyes and look." Her: "I'm telling the manager about your poor attitude." Me: "Knock yourself out." Apparently she hadn't heard that saying before; she went to complain to the manager about me not only being rude, but telling her to go hurt herself. Said manager nearly bust a gut with trying not to laugh as he told her I didn't work there. I would love to know why she thought my slobby ensemble was the uniform of co-op tho.

[CherryB]

I flew back home last week for a visit. A friend of mine from years back passed away last August, so I wanted to visit her grave and pay my respects. Since I didn't know where her grave was located I stopped in at the office of the funeral home/cemetary place to get a map of her grave location. I am dressed in jeans, loafers, sweater and a purse over my shoulder. Standing in the front lobby. Just past me is a windowed office (entire wall is glass) and a lady sitting behind the desk wearing a dress and looking much like an employee of a funeral home. While I am waiting for the nice young man to go look up my friend's grave this woman breezes in, taps me on the shoulder and says "are you the receptionist?" I replied "No Ma'am (I am southern what can I say) I believe that lady sitting behind the desk in that glassed in office would the the receptionist if I were to make a guess."
Twit. I got the info from the nice young man and went to see my friend. She would have been amused.

[Arcade Man D]

I get these all the time. And if you interrupt me while I'm trying to enjoy a game, especially if I'm in the middle of playing whichever song on DDR I have yet to pass, you will feel my full wrath. Especially when I'm wearing my usual "I'm at the arcade on my time off" ensemble. A Tekken 5 T-Shirt, and a pair of jeans, or occasionally khakis.

Uniform is white dress shirt, black, charcoal, or navy slacks, black shoes, and red vest with company logo in huge letters on the back, and smaller letters over the chest pocket.

What's even better is that the employee on duty at the time is sitting behind the redemption counter ((depending on who it is, usually laughing his ass off at the whole situation.))

I did actually demand that one customer reimburse me the tokens he cost me for being a dumba** and not noticing the fact that I was playing a game, and nowhere near uniform, and thus clearly not working at the time.

((Yes, I know the thread is old, but we must bring it back!))

If you don't touch me to get my attention, aren't rude, or aren't interrupting my DDR/Tekken/really anything I'm concentrating on, I'll be nice, maybe even help, though I don't work at BB, CompUSA, Hot Topic ((actually got that one once. While I was wearing a hawaiian shirt. *shrugs*))

[Anakah]

My fiance and I were in Safeway (wearing black sweatshirts with skulls on them) shopping and we stopped in an isle. This old lady looks at my fiance and asks him where the chips are.

It was kind of funny because after she got a good look at him, she was like oops. I kind of laughed and pointed out where the chips were. If she was rude about it I'd tell her to kiss my butt but she was really nice and since I knew where the stuff was, I figured why not?

[Food Lady]

OK, I frequently shop at work after my shift, in my uniform. Sometimes I even have my nametag on and I don't always have a cart. And it's rare for anyone to ask me for help. Maybe I have the opposite of the helpful look. Or I just walk too fast for them.

[iradney]

Hahah, yesterday, The Tall One and I decided to go to the movies (Watched The Prestige - very very good!). So we get to the cinema and decide to use the "self service" kiosk. So the lady that was in front of us (for the manned kiosk) said kind of snottily "I'm still in the queue!" We looked at each other, and while TTO was organising our tickets, I explained to her that we're using the self service ticket kiosk. She immediatly perked up and I had to explain to her how to use it *sigh* Of course, none of the actual employees stepped in to assist so...
It's so self explanatory - choose a movie, choose a time, choose your seats, do you have any loyalty cards, choose your payment option. Oy!

[SCSlave]

I can't recall any time that I've been mistaken for an employee....damn it! I want a story!!!

[Ackee]

This happens to me all the time... I have no idea why, maybe I just attract the nutters.

Me: "I do not work here"
SC: "Are you sure?"
Me: "I am positive"
SC: "Can't you tell me where the kids clothes are anyway?"
Me: "I do not know where they are, I do NOT work here lady"
SC: "I want to get my shopping done, why won't you help me?"
Me: "What a surprise, I am trying to get my shopping done as well"
SC: "I am going to tell your manager how bad your customer service is"
Me: "Go to hell"
2 minutes later, the SC returns with the manager in tow and points to me and says how unhelpful and ruse I am and she want disciplibary action taken. The poor manager was trying his hardest to laugh, and I just started cackling like a hyena!

SC: "Can't you tell me anyway?"
Me: "My crystal ball is broken"
SC: "What is your name?"
Me: "Fairy Princess"
SC: "Show me your name tag"
Me: (turns to face her) "Are you still there, I thought I told you I didn't work here"
SC: "Why not?"

SC: "Aren't you going to show me where they are?"
Me: "Nope"
SC: "Why not?"
Me: "Because I do not work here"
SC: "So you won't help me with a bra fitting?"
Me: "Hell no!"
SC: "Are you sure you don't work here?"
Me: "I am 100% positive I do not work here, I never have worked here, and I never will"
SC: "Can't you help me with my bra fitting anyway?"

This is shocking, they should all be shot

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Got asked today in the shoe store.

I have to say, though, most of the people here are reasonably polite when they ask this, and some are embarassed when they find out they were mistaken and apologize.

Make no mistake, we do have some suck here, but nowhere NEAR the level of some of these stories.

Of course, you all realize I just jinxed myself....

[thewhatnow]

haha

this is so funny! my boyfriend always gets asked if he works there when he goes to rever pass. he loves their stuff so he's always dressed in their clothes, and he does have that kind of "look" , I guess you could say. it's cute!

[uthdentroll]

one day i would do this to those people:
if they come up to me and ask me for help , I would help them..... sending them to wrong aisles or something like that.

[Lyger]

While I worked for a gas station, I stopped off one day at an arcade to let off some steam... and indeed, I did, for about ten minutes. Then a couple came up asking me if I worked there. Keep in mind that the official colors of this arcade were white, green, purple and blue. My uniform was black, yellow and red. I stuck out like a sore thumb (especially considering how good I am at those DDR games. ), fairly obviously didn't work there, and I was interrupted by this couple not once, but twice...

If I said I didn't work here the first time, lady, I sure as hell don't when you ask me five minutes later!

Also, I once had to make a few runs to other gas stations of the same chain... that, I can understand someone thinking I worked at that particular station. But not when my uniform directly contrasts the interior of a building.

[Bella_Vixen]

Also, I once had to make a few runs to other gas stations of the same chain... that, I can understand someone thinking I worked at that particular station. But not when my uniform directly contrasts the interior of a building.

My uniform directly contrasts with the store I DO work in.

[scorpionf]

Well, it happened to me again on Thursday night, at Target... I was wearing blue jeans, a black WWE John Cena t-shirt, and ratty blue sneakers. (Target uniform is red shirt, black pants and black shoes).

Anyway, I was wandering around the electorics section, because I needed to buy an IPod to replace my now dead discman, and, well, this is how it went:

SC: Where is the stationary section?
Me: I don't know, I don't work here
SC: Are you sure?
Me: I think I would know if I worked here
SC: You should still help me, even if it is your day off!
Me: No I couldn't, because I don't know where the stationary section is and I have never worked at target!
SC: I'm going to report you to your manager, you are not giving good customer service
Me: Why should I you stupid bat?
SC: *storms off*

2 minutes later, I hear someone say "That's her", and I turn around, and there she is, with the manager, pointing me out as the rude and hostile employee, and she wanted something done about it.

The manager comes up to me, and tells me to go to the staffroom, so he can have a chat to me about my behaviour... So, I asked where the staffroom was, and he said I knew where it was, and to stop making things worst for myself.

I just said "I shall go and buy my IPod elsewhere, have a nice night" and wandered out the store, leaving the 2 of them standing there like the morons they are!