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May I Fuss and Whine a Bit? (long)
I've been in retail longer than I'll admit to anyone. I've been the gambit from department store to convenience store. I've worked as a cashier, customer service, store detective, LP manager, cash office, store manager. Who needs to go to hell in a handbasket when you can work retail instead? Now don't get me wrong -- there are some great customers. But, then there are the bad behaviors of sucky customers, to wit:
Convenience store
1. No, you may not pay for your groceries with cocaine. It makes the register till all icky.
2. You do NOT poke holes in the milk cartons to create messes. No!
3. Do NOT take coffee pot as it's pouring because you want fresh coffee -- the other pot isn't even five minutes old.
4. Do NOT put things in the microwave to see if they explode.
5. I'm sorry. This isn't a social club. You're not our official greeter and don't need to be here three hours every morning.
6. Go to a real grocery store if you want low prices.
7. If you don't have enough money, don't buy it. But, whatever you do, don't ask me to let you slide.
Customer Service
1. No, you may not return the shoes you're wearing into our store because they don't fit right.
2. No, you may not return that used (pan, jacket, etc.) with no receipt and no proof of purchase from here whatsoever.
3. Don't tell me it's not a return because you want an exchange. If you're returning an item, you're returning it whether you're exchanging or getting a refund. It's a return. You're returning it to us.
4. If you want to return something to us that you broke or used, we can't sell it. It doesn't matter that you just want an exchange. You used it. You broke it. We're not taking it back. We have no idea if you followed the cleaning instructions right or not. The sign says "no used or worn items can be returned." Take it up with the manufacturer.
5. If you're returning a huge bag of items, don't waste time taking them out one by one slowly. Yeah, I have all day but I have other customers, too.
6. Don't wait until you get to the counter and then pull out a big ziplock gallon-sized bag of receipts from every store in the universe. Sheesh, if you can't read receipts, at least try to narrow it down to our store. Y'know, I bring in the individual receipt for the item when I have to do a return. I'm just silly like that.
7. Stop shopping through your return as I'm processing it. You don't want the stuff, you're bringing it back. Leave it alone.
8. Don't fuss with me about a store credit when your receipt is clearly marked "Refunds within 30 days." Five months is more than 30 days and, if it were my personal store, I wouldn't take anything that old back at all.
9. Why do you have a receipt and a return from 2005? Have you gone through a time warp? Yeah, the company says to give store credit, but that's ridiculous. We have to mark it all out of stock and give it to charity because you kept it so many years.
10. Don't come during the lunch rush and then fuss that you're in a hurry. That's the busiest time of the day.
11. Don't spend an hour shopping then ask us to hold your stuff because you must run out right now to pick up your child from school. Didn't you know what time he gets out? Your lack of time management skills is not my problem.
12. Don't stick our price tickets on things from flea markets and expect to get a refund. I'm not dumb.
13. Don't empty your return bag and then "hide" the bag in the crevice by my register. Just give it to me, please. Why must people hide their used bags? I never get that one.
Cashiering
1. If you decided you don't want something, just give it to me. Don't stash it places.
2. Stop shopping through your stuff as I'm ringing it up. Now is not the time to shop.
3. Don't fuss at me when the line is long. I'm obviously working and would love to be surrounded by coworkers helping me.
4. I wasn't born yesterday. You can't put a $20 clearance sticker on that $300 leather jacket and then tell me "it's the law" that I have to ring it up for that price.
5. This isn't "Let's Make a Deal." My name isn't Monty Hall. If I say a damaged item can only be marked down 10%, you're not going to talk me into 50% because "it's SO damaged." If it's that damaged, I don't see why you'd even want to buy it.
6. Please don't let your kid play with the debit/credit card machine. Now is the time to let them know they can't run amok in public places.
7. Speaking of children -- don't let them play with, drool on, and otherwise make a toy we sell unsaleable just to keep them entertained. If you're not going to buy it, they shouldn't have it just because you want to distract them while you shop.
8. Please don't get upset with me if your check or credit card get declined. It's not my doing and I have no control over it. You need to talk to your bank or call the check approval agency number I'm giving you. No, they never tell me why ... so stop asking. Talk to them.
I just discovered this forum. It's perfect!
Convenience store
1. No, you may not pay for your groceries with cocaine. It makes the register till all icky.
2. You do NOT poke holes in the milk cartons to create messes. No!
3. Do NOT take coffee pot as it's pouring because you want fresh coffee -- the other pot isn't even five minutes old.
4. Do NOT put things in the microwave to see if they explode.
5. I'm sorry. This isn't a social club. You're not our official greeter and don't need to be here three hours every morning.
6. Go to a real grocery store if you want low prices.
7. If you don't have enough money, don't buy it. But, whatever you do, don't ask me to let you slide.
Customer Service
1. No, you may not return the shoes you're wearing into our store because they don't fit right.
2. No, you may not return that used (pan, jacket, etc.) with no receipt and no proof of purchase from here whatsoever.
3. Don't tell me it's not a return because you want an exchange. If you're returning an item, you're returning it whether you're exchanging or getting a refund. It's a return. You're returning it to us.
4. If you want to return something to us that you broke or used, we can't sell it. It doesn't matter that you just want an exchange. You used it. You broke it. We're not taking it back. We have no idea if you followed the cleaning instructions right or not. The sign says "no used or worn items can be returned." Take it up with the manufacturer.
5. If you're returning a huge bag of items, don't waste time taking them out one by one slowly. Yeah, I have all day but I have other customers, too.
6. Don't wait until you get to the counter and then pull out a big ziplock gallon-sized bag of receipts from every store in the universe. Sheesh, if you can't read receipts, at least try to narrow it down to our store. Y'know, I bring in the individual receipt for the item when I have to do a return. I'm just silly like that.
7. Stop shopping through your return as I'm processing it. You don't want the stuff, you're bringing it back. Leave it alone.
8. Don't fuss with me about a store credit when your receipt is clearly marked "Refunds within 30 days." Five months is more than 30 days and, if it were my personal store, I wouldn't take anything that old back at all.
9. Why do you have a receipt and a return from 2005? Have you gone through a time warp? Yeah, the company says to give store credit, but that's ridiculous. We have to mark it all out of stock and give it to charity because you kept it so many years.
10. Don't come during the lunch rush and then fuss that you're in a hurry. That's the busiest time of the day.
11. Don't spend an hour shopping then ask us to hold your stuff because you must run out right now to pick up your child from school. Didn't you know what time he gets out? Your lack of time management skills is not my problem.
12. Don't stick our price tickets on things from flea markets and expect to get a refund. I'm not dumb.
13. Don't empty your return bag and then "hide" the bag in the crevice by my register. Just give it to me, please. Why must people hide their used bags? I never get that one.
Cashiering
1. If you decided you don't want something, just give it to me. Don't stash it places.
2. Stop shopping through your stuff as I'm ringing it up. Now is not the time to shop.
3. Don't fuss at me when the line is long. I'm obviously working and would love to be surrounded by coworkers helping me.
4. I wasn't born yesterday. You can't put a $20 clearance sticker on that $300 leather jacket and then tell me "it's the law" that I have to ring it up for that price.
5. This isn't "Let's Make a Deal." My name isn't Monty Hall. If I say a damaged item can only be marked down 10%, you're not going to talk me into 50% because "it's SO damaged." If it's that damaged, I don't see why you'd even want to buy it.
6. Please don't let your kid play with the debit/credit card machine. Now is the time to let them know they can't run amok in public places.
7. Speaking of children -- don't let them play with, drool on, and otherwise make a toy we sell unsaleable just to keep them entertained. If you're not going to buy it, they shouldn't have it just because you want to distract them while you shop.
8. Please don't get upset with me if your check or credit card get declined. It's not my doing and I have no control over it. You need to talk to your bank or call the check approval agency number I'm giving you. No, they never tell me why ... so stop asking. Talk to them.
I just discovered this forum. It's perfect!
Cookies are on the left, brain bleach on the right.
You know I can see you doing it. Just give it to me and I'll toss it in my basket of reshelves behind me. I promise I won't yell at you.
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