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Like I said to Catherine, I'm just copying the IMs I sent to her in here because I'm not typing this all up again. But yeah, aside from editing a couple of names (like IM names 
), here's what happens when families who drink too much and hate each other experience a death in the ranks.
Catherine (1:06:50 PM): So, what's the story?
Mysty (1:07:14 PM): Oh dear God. Okay. Let's see if I can make this shorter than it is.
Mysty (1:07:55 PM): Okay, a girl comes in with an obituary for her grandmother. We don't usually take obits from family members unless they have documented proof of the death. This story is going to tell you why.
Mysty (1:08:26 PM): And even WITH the documented proof, I wish we wouldn't. Anyway...
Mysty (1:09:49 PM): So she brings me the obit, and fills everything out, and she's been working to get this together, obviously, so I'm nice to her. She asks about a photo and I give her an extra half hour to give me the picture. She and the lady with her, I assume her mom or something, leave. Case closed, so far as I think.
Mysty (1:10:37 PM): About twenty minutes later, phone call from some woman wanting to add a memorial account to the obit. I assume (and we all are reminded what assuming does) that it was one of the two ladies and add it.
Mysty (1:11:28 PM): About ten minutes after that, some guy calls, saying he's the lady's son. And HE starts telling me to take the memorial off, and instead to include that memorials can be made DIRECTLY TO HIM, at the funeral. Which, by the way, is being held in a bar. BAR.
Mysty (1:12:55 PM): So, first of all, yeah, no. We don't do that in our free one because holy crap. Second of all, I don't know this guy from Adam. And third of all, even if he IS who he says he is, now we have fighting family members and we're not getting in the middle of that.
Mysty (1:14:49 PM): So I tell him I can't put that in and further, now that we've got family members fighting over it, we are going to pull the obit and hold it until they can get together and agree on what the hell to put in, because there'd be liability and slander and whatnot issues and we are NOT exposing ourselves to that. Dude says the girl who came in is his daughter and has no rights to put anything in, even though she had a death certificate for proof. Then starts giving me this sob story about how this is the first death in his family and it's his mom and whine whine cry.
Mysty (1:15:38 PM): Well, I can't budge on it even if I want to, and I don't want to because oh my God, it's getting nasty. So he says all dramatic WE'RE GONNA GET THIS SORTED OUT and hangs up on me, and I pull the obit. This is the point where I fled for lunch.
Mysty (1:16:11 PM): Well, no, first, I had to call the poor granddaughter and tell her we were having to hold the obit because her dad was being a buttnugget, and she promised to get it sorted out. Then I fled.
Mysty (1:18:04 PM): So by the time I get back from lunch, the girl is at R's desk, on the phone with her dad, and they're fighting over the phone about Grandma's obituary, and the dad is screaming about what relatives can and can't go in because they don't love his mother enough, ergo, sibling rivalry, yay, and daughter is trying to be the voice of reason and get a decent obit fixed. All the while, the guy still doesn't understand WHY we won't put in the obituary for people to come up to him at the funeral IN A BAR and just HAND him money.
Mysty (1:19:39 PM): And finally daddy and daughter get a compromise in place, and she hangs up the phone with him and starts crying, because the poor thing's dad is a retarded booze monkey, and R gets her calmed down and sent out. And then R looks at me and says "Get EVERYTHING in that obit exactly right because we are NOT rerunning it." And I still haven't even clocked back in from lunch. *sigh*
So, yes, there you have it. In short form. In reality, it was like an hour and a half of complete and utter crazy drunk hell.
(And I'm sure that a funeral in a bar isn't unheard of, but it was just the cherry on the crazy-ass sundae, so yeah.)
), here's what happens when families who drink too much and hate each other experience a death in the ranks.Catherine (1:06:50 PM): So, what's the story?
Mysty (1:07:14 PM): Oh dear God. Okay. Let's see if I can make this shorter than it is.
Mysty (1:07:55 PM): Okay, a girl comes in with an obituary for her grandmother. We don't usually take obits from family members unless they have documented proof of the death. This story is going to tell you why.
Mysty (1:08:26 PM): And even WITH the documented proof, I wish we wouldn't. Anyway...
Mysty (1:09:49 PM): So she brings me the obit, and fills everything out, and she's been working to get this together, obviously, so I'm nice to her. She asks about a photo and I give her an extra half hour to give me the picture. She and the lady with her, I assume her mom or something, leave. Case closed, so far as I think.
Mysty (1:10:37 PM): About twenty minutes later, phone call from some woman wanting to add a memorial account to the obit. I assume (and we all are reminded what assuming does) that it was one of the two ladies and add it.
Mysty (1:11:28 PM): About ten minutes after that, some guy calls, saying he's the lady's son. And HE starts telling me to take the memorial off, and instead to include that memorials can be made DIRECTLY TO HIM, at the funeral. Which, by the way, is being held in a bar. BAR.
Mysty (1:12:55 PM): So, first of all, yeah, no. We don't do that in our free one because holy crap. Second of all, I don't know this guy from Adam. And third of all, even if he IS who he says he is, now we have fighting family members and we're not getting in the middle of that.
Mysty (1:14:49 PM): So I tell him I can't put that in and further, now that we've got family members fighting over it, we are going to pull the obit and hold it until they can get together and agree on what the hell to put in, because there'd be liability and slander and whatnot issues and we are NOT exposing ourselves to that. Dude says the girl who came in is his daughter and has no rights to put anything in, even though she had a death certificate for proof. Then starts giving me this sob story about how this is the first death in his family and it's his mom and whine whine cry.
Mysty (1:15:38 PM): Well, I can't budge on it even if I want to, and I don't want to because oh my God, it's getting nasty. So he says all dramatic WE'RE GONNA GET THIS SORTED OUT and hangs up on me, and I pull the obit. This is the point where I fled for lunch.
Mysty (1:16:11 PM): Well, no, first, I had to call the poor granddaughter and tell her we were having to hold the obit because her dad was being a buttnugget, and she promised to get it sorted out. Then I fled.
Mysty (1:18:04 PM): So by the time I get back from lunch, the girl is at R's desk, on the phone with her dad, and they're fighting over the phone about Grandma's obituary, and the dad is screaming about what relatives can and can't go in because they don't love his mother enough, ergo, sibling rivalry, yay, and daughter is trying to be the voice of reason and get a decent obit fixed. All the while, the guy still doesn't understand WHY we won't put in the obituary for people to come up to him at the funeral IN A BAR and just HAND him money.
Mysty (1:19:39 PM): And finally daddy and daughter get a compromise in place, and she hangs up the phone with him and starts crying, because the poor thing's dad is a retarded booze monkey, and R gets her calmed down and sent out. And then R looks at me and says "Get EVERYTHING in that obit exactly right because we are NOT rerunning it." And I still haven't even clocked back in from lunch. *sigh*
So, yes, there you have it. In short form. In reality, it was like an hour and a half of complete and utter crazy drunk hell.
(And I'm sure that a funeral in a bar isn't unheard of, but it was just the cherry on the crazy-ass sundae, so yeah.)
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