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Only I can get away with...
...the stuff that comes out of my mouth. 
Three different customers, only one needed strangling. Everyone was cracking up.
Too Late
This guy comes in to do a few exchanges and it turns out that we owe him a refund of $187. He's the only customer in the store.
K=Floor Supervisor
Me= K's supervisor
SC= hmmm...
So my floor supervisor K, explains to him that since he originally paid with a check, we would have to issue him a check for his refund. The SC started to complain that he didn't want a check because our checks are out-of-state checks and he gave us an in-state check. He demanded that we either issue him an in-state check or issue his refund in another form.
After going back and forth with SC for about five or so minutes, K hands me the store checkbook.
K: You deal with him.
Me: Why? I heard what you told him and it's nothing different than what I would tell him.
K: Yeah, but I don't seem to be getting through to him.
Me: You sure you wanna sic me on him?
K: Oh yeah.
So I go over to SC and tell him exactly what K just told him. I also add that each store in the company has the same exact book of store checks. He still decides to go back and forth with me for another five or so minutes. He finally realizes that the only way he's gonna get his refund is by taking the store check.
I go over to the cashwrap to write out the check when this gem comes outta his mouth...
SC: Just so you know, I'm not trying to be difficult.
Me: Too late.
At that moment my associates bust out laughing.
SC:
What did you say?
Me: I said "Too late". Seriously, how can you say you're not trying to be difficult when you just spent the last ten-plus minutes arguing with K and myself over company policy? If you didn't want to be difficult, you would've done your exchange, taken the check, and gone about your day.
SC just looked at me and says..."Man, you're tough."
Me: Thank you. And I know I'm tough, but you would love to have someone as tough as me working for you.
SC: You're absolutely right.
So he finally chilled out and left the store with a smile on his face and thanking us.
The next two weren't sucky, just funny.
What's another week?
So a couple comes in and the husbands want to get his eyes checked. I ask if he'd ever been examined with us, he says a few years ago. So I try to look him up through the exam system, can't find him. I check the order computer, and the last time he was in was February 2002. Almost seven full years.
So I let them know that it's been seven years and that's why I couldn't find his file.
I also let him know that anything he orders with us can take up to five business days.
Wife exclaims: "But why?"
I explain that we're not set up the way were were up the street, so any orders have to be sent out.
Wife: But can't it be done any faster?
Me: Sure. There are other locations in the city that can process the order in-house if you want to travel to them.
Besides, he's waited seven years to come in. What's another week?
Cue the snickering from my associates. Then husband was snickering too. And the wife agreed with me.
Caller ID
So I'm on the phone with a customer who needs a copy of his prescription. R was sitting behind me doing an adjustment for another customer while I was on the phone.
I let the customer know that I need to look up his file and call him back.
NC: Nice Customer (on the phone)
Me: Goin' for the hat trick
Me: Okay, give me a phone number where I can reach you.
NC: Oh man. I'm home, but I'm not sure what the number is. Do you have caller ID?
Me: Oh sorry, but no. Our phones don't have that feature. Besides, if we had caller ID, do you know how many calls would go unanswered?
Cue R almost falling out of his chair laughing. The customer he was helping laughed too and said that he couldn't believe I said that.
And these were just today.
Three different customers, only one needed strangling. Everyone was cracking up.
Too Late
This guy comes in to do a few exchanges and it turns out that we owe him a refund of $187. He's the only customer in the store.
K=Floor Supervisor
Me= K's supervisor
SC= hmmm...
So my floor supervisor K, explains to him that since he originally paid with a check, we would have to issue him a check for his refund. The SC started to complain that he didn't want a check because our checks are out-of-state checks and he gave us an in-state check. He demanded that we either issue him an in-state check or issue his refund in another form.
After going back and forth with SC for about five or so minutes, K hands me the store checkbook.
K: You deal with him.
Me: Why? I heard what you told him and it's nothing different than what I would tell him.
K: Yeah, but I don't seem to be getting through to him.
Me: You sure you wanna sic me on him?
K: Oh yeah.
So I go over to SC and tell him exactly what K just told him. I also add that each store in the company has the same exact book of store checks. He still decides to go back and forth with me for another five or so minutes. He finally realizes that the only way he's gonna get his refund is by taking the store check.
I go over to the cashwrap to write out the check when this gem comes outta his mouth...
SC: Just so you know, I'm not trying to be difficult.
Me: Too late.
At that moment my associates bust out laughing.
SC:
What did you say?Me: I said "Too late". Seriously, how can you say you're not trying to be difficult when you just spent the last ten-plus minutes arguing with K and myself over company policy? If you didn't want to be difficult, you would've done your exchange, taken the check, and gone about your day.
SC just looked at me and says..."Man, you're tough."
Me: Thank you. And I know I'm tough, but you would love to have someone as tough as me working for you.
SC: You're absolutely right.
So he finally chilled out and left the store with a smile on his face and thanking us.
The next two weren't sucky, just funny.
What's another week?
So a couple comes in and the husbands want to get his eyes checked. I ask if he'd ever been examined with us, he says a few years ago. So I try to look him up through the exam system, can't find him. I check the order computer, and the last time he was in was February 2002. Almost seven full years.
So I let them know that it's been seven years and that's why I couldn't find his file.
I also let him know that anything he orders with us can take up to five business days.
Wife exclaims: "But why?"
I explain that we're not set up the way were were up the street, so any orders have to be sent out.
Wife: But can't it be done any faster?
Me: Sure. There are other locations in the city that can process the order in-house if you want to travel to them.
Besides, he's waited seven years to come in. What's another week?
Cue the snickering from my associates. Then husband was snickering too. And the wife agreed with me.
Caller ID
So I'm on the phone with a customer who needs a copy of his prescription. R was sitting behind me doing an adjustment for another customer while I was on the phone.
I let the customer know that I need to look up his file and call him back.
NC: Nice Customer (on the phone)
Me: Goin' for the hat trick
Me: Okay, give me a phone number where I can reach you.
NC: Oh man. I'm home, but I'm not sure what the number is. Do you have caller ID?
Me: Oh sorry, but no. Our phones don't have that feature. Besides, if we had caller ID, do you know how many calls would go unanswered?
Cue R almost falling out of his chair laughing. The customer he was helping laughed too and said that he couldn't believe I said that.
And these were just today.
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