Tweet
Like most bad things such as the bubonic plague or a movie sequel with a number of "3" or higher, The Marathon Phonecall of Suck started innocently enough with the phone ringing….
Me: Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking.
Punk: Did you guys tow a black Saturn from the Punk Arms Apartments?
Me: *I recognize this right away as the car I JUST unloaded…* Yes sir we did, it’ll be $105 to release it, cash, credit or debit.
Punk: Well, here’s the problem, I live there, that was my space, so you illegally towed my car.
Me: No sir, the car didn’t have a permit in it, it must have a valid permit displayed to be in the lot.
Punk: And there was a permit in the car, you guys just must have missed it.
Me: No, we didn’t miss it, the car was thoroughly checked, we checked under the sunvisors, the center console, floorboards, map pockets, there was no visible permit in that car. (permits in this lot are big foot-long neon orange paper tags cut so they hang around the rearview mirrors, even if it falls off, it WILL be visible in the car, unless they throw it in the glovebox in which case, it’s not visible now is it?)
Punk: Well, see, I broke my key off in the uh, door, the other day, and I can’t get the door open so I couldn’t put the permit in the car, I had it tucked under the windshield wiper
(Whelp, you just set off my BS meter, but I’ll let it slide because I’m lenient that way)
Me: Well, there was no permit either on or in the car at the time of the tow
Punk: Probably because one of your guys stole my permit! That’s probably what happened!
(Okay, the BS meter is rising rapidly from “watch your step” territory to “man the lifeboats” territory, but I’m going to let it slide because I’m lenient that way.)
Me: If someone stole it, it wasn’t us, I was the one who towed it, and there was no permit on that car, I would have seen it.
Punk: You towed it?
Me: Yes sir, my signature is on the sheet if you need proof
Punk: And there wasn’t a permit?
Me: No sir.
Punk: It was on the ground then, you didn’t look ON the ground UNDER the car did you?
Me: No sir.
Punk: That’s where it was then! I’m not paying for it because you were lazy and didn’t check the ground!
(Now the BS meter is now pegged and the needle is straining like it’s going to snap, I've had enough of this game so it's ultimatum time)
Me: Sir, I cannot waive these fees, you need to pay the $105 or you will not get the car back, there was no permit displayed
Punk: Because you didn’t look!
Me: It’s unreasonable to look UNDER a car for a permit that should be IN the car, sir.
Punk: But that’s my space! I paid $400 a month for it, I'm a resident!
Me: I’m sorry sir, but to park there, you must have a permit up, it says that explicitly on signs in the lot and on the paperwork you signed when you rented.
Punk: So I have to pay to get my car back from a space I pay for?
Me: Yes sir, you do.
Punk: You don’t think that’s a little bit ridiculous?
Me: No sir, I don’t.
Punk: You really don’t think that it’s ridiculous that I have to pay to get MY car back from MY parking space that I own just because I didn’t have MY permit up?
Me: I’m sorry sir but there’s nothing I can do if you don’t have your permit up. Without it, how are we supposed to know if the car belongs there or not? That’s kind of the whole point of having permits.
Punk: Look, stop calling me “Sir” it’s annoying
Me: Sorry, but, like I said, there’s nothing I can do about the charges tonight, if you want to pick the car up, it will be $105, otherwise, you’ll have to wait until 8 tomorrow morning when management gets in. Right now, the only thing I can do is take payment and release the vehicle.
Punk: Uh, can I ask you a question
Me: Sure
Punk: Are you always this big of a sh*thead?
Me: Okay Sir (see what I did there?) I’m hanging up, you have a nice evening.
*click*
Almost immediately, the phone rings
Me: Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking.
Punk: F*ck You!
Me: *click*
Phone rings, again, this time I check caller ID and its Punk’s number
Me: Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking.
Punk: F*ck You!
Me: *click*
Phone rings, AGAIN, it’s Punk’s number, AGAIN, I let it go unanswered, after 5 rings it stops. 5 minutes pass, the phone starts ringing again, once more, it’s Punk’s number, I pick it up
Me: Okay, this is your last chance, you swear at me one more time and this phone is going to ignore any more calls from this number, what’s it going to be?
Punk: …….. F*ck You!
*click* *block number*
Well, I warned him. Oh, and he did pick it up in the morning, and since then, I have not seen the car back in that lot. Big surprise there huh? Resident my ass…… My internal BS meter is usually right.
Me: Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking.
Punk: Did you guys tow a black Saturn from the Punk Arms Apartments?
Me: *I recognize this right away as the car I JUST unloaded…* Yes sir we did, it’ll be $105 to release it, cash, credit or debit.
Punk: Well, here’s the problem, I live there, that was my space, so you illegally towed my car.
Me: No sir, the car didn’t have a permit in it, it must have a valid permit displayed to be in the lot.
Punk: And there was a permit in the car, you guys just must have missed it.
Me: No, we didn’t miss it, the car was thoroughly checked, we checked under the sunvisors, the center console, floorboards, map pockets, there was no visible permit in that car. (permits in this lot are big foot-long neon orange paper tags cut so they hang around the rearview mirrors, even if it falls off, it WILL be visible in the car, unless they throw it in the glovebox in which case, it’s not visible now is it?)
Punk: Well, see, I broke my key off in the uh, door, the other day, and I can’t get the door open so I couldn’t put the permit in the car, I had it tucked under the windshield wiper
(Whelp, you just set off my BS meter, but I’ll let it slide because I’m lenient that way)
Me: Well, there was no permit either on or in the car at the time of the tow
Punk: Probably because one of your guys stole my permit! That’s probably what happened!
(Okay, the BS meter is rising rapidly from “watch your step” territory to “man the lifeboats” territory, but I’m going to let it slide because I’m lenient that way.)
Me: If someone stole it, it wasn’t us, I was the one who towed it, and there was no permit on that car, I would have seen it.
Punk: You towed it?
Me: Yes sir, my signature is on the sheet if you need proof
Punk: And there wasn’t a permit?
Me: No sir.
Punk: It was on the ground then, you didn’t look ON the ground UNDER the car did you?
Me: No sir.
Punk: That’s where it was then! I’m not paying for it because you were lazy and didn’t check the ground!
(Now the BS meter is now pegged and the needle is straining like it’s going to snap, I've had enough of this game so it's ultimatum time)
Me: Sir, I cannot waive these fees, you need to pay the $105 or you will not get the car back, there was no permit displayed
Punk: Because you didn’t look!
Me: It’s unreasonable to look UNDER a car for a permit that should be IN the car, sir.
Punk: But that’s my space! I paid $400 a month for it, I'm a resident!
Me: I’m sorry sir, but to park there, you must have a permit up, it says that explicitly on signs in the lot and on the paperwork you signed when you rented.
Punk: So I have to pay to get my car back from a space I pay for?
Me: Yes sir, you do.
Punk: You don’t think that’s a little bit ridiculous?
Me: No sir, I don’t.
Punk: You really don’t think that it’s ridiculous that I have to pay to get MY car back from MY parking space that I own just because I didn’t have MY permit up?
Me: I’m sorry sir but there’s nothing I can do if you don’t have your permit up. Without it, how are we supposed to know if the car belongs there or not? That’s kind of the whole point of having permits.
Punk: Look, stop calling me “Sir” it’s annoying
Me: Sorry, but, like I said, there’s nothing I can do about the charges tonight, if you want to pick the car up, it will be $105, otherwise, you’ll have to wait until 8 tomorrow morning when management gets in. Right now, the only thing I can do is take payment and release the vehicle.
Punk: Uh, can I ask you a question
Me: Sure
Punk: Are you always this big of a sh*thead?
Me: Okay Sir (see what I did there?) I’m hanging up, you have a nice evening.
*click*
Almost immediately, the phone rings
Me: Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking.
Punk: F*ck You!
Me: *click*
Phone rings, again, this time I check caller ID and its Punk’s number
Me: Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking.
Punk: F*ck You!
Me: *click*
Phone rings, AGAIN, it’s Punk’s number, AGAIN, I let it go unanswered, after 5 rings it stops. 5 minutes pass, the phone starts ringing again, once more, it’s Punk’s number, I pick it up
Me: Okay, this is your last chance, you swear at me one more time and this phone is going to ignore any more calls from this number, what’s it going to be?
Punk: …….. F*ck You!
*click* *block number*
Well, I warned him. Oh, and he did pick it up in the morning, and since then, I have not seen the car back in that lot. Big surprise there huh? Resident my ass…… My internal BS meter is usually right.
Comment