I have come to the conclusion I actually died a long time ago and am now suffering in Hell.
Got this gem today:
Me: Hi!
SC: His Royal Bastard Majesty Of Laziness
Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah-blah. This is Wade, how may I help you?
SC: Yeah, I want to know why my insurance premium's so high!
Okay, fair enough. So, I dive right in and review his policy, but only find a premium that looks perfectly reasonable to me considering the circumstances.
Me: Well, sir, I'm not finding any adverse circumstances that would impact your premium.
SC: But I'm paying nearly $1700 a year for one car! I have friends that don't pay nearly that much for two or three vehicles!
You're right, for three reasons: First, you have one vehicle, so no multi-car discount for you. Back of the line! Second - and I have ranted on this in previous threads - every insurance policy is different. A '76 Ford LTD is obviously cheaper than a 2003 Dodge Grand Caravan. Think! And Third, you're an asshat, and I have absolutely no motivation to arbitrarily discount your rate just because you don't like it.
SC: Well, it looks like I'm going to have to start shopping around!
Now you get it! You finally grasp the theories of a capitalist free-market! Competition, price variances, consumer decision, supply and demand - you've graduated to eight-grade General Business! I hope your parents reward you with a shiny new bike!
Me: I completely understand, sir. However, if you obtain a quote from a competitor in writing, please feel free to provide it to us so we can attempt to match their rate.
SC: Well, why should I do that? Why should I have to mix-and-match!?!
WTF? You just told me you were going to shop around, yet when I suggest an opportunity to match a competitor's rate, you go batshit for Booberry Crunch?
SC: You know, I EXPECT my insurance company to give me the lowest rates possible!
Right, because we just "give" rates out like Easter eggs. I'm sure looking at the world through your rose-colored glasses provides a dreamy landscape where everybody gets everything handed to them on a silver platter with no rhyme or reason why everyone's equal. Wait a minute - that makes you a Communist. Which negates the necessity to shop around.
SC: Why should I have to shop around to find the lowest rate? It's RIDICULOUS!!! !!!ELEVENTY!!!
You're absolutely right - it IS ridiculous to think you would lift a finger to do anything, let alone shop around to actually try and save money, because that would require EFFORT on your part. Jesus, you open-mouth breathing sack, you can't even use enough energy to breathe right! God help us all if you crack open the Yellow Pages and attempt to dial! He's trying it - RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
At this point, I just kind of tuned him out, granting the occasional "Yes, sir" and "Uh-huh" until he eventually exhausted himself and most likely figured out I could really care less if he doesn't like our rates.
And to think I may be up for a promotion.
Got this gem today:
Me: Hi!
SC: His Royal Bastard Majesty Of Laziness
Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah-blah. This is Wade, how may I help you?
SC: Yeah, I want to know why my insurance premium's so high!
Okay, fair enough. So, I dive right in and review his policy, but only find a premium that looks perfectly reasonable to me considering the circumstances.
Me: Well, sir, I'm not finding any adverse circumstances that would impact your premium.
SC: But I'm paying nearly $1700 a year for one car! I have friends that don't pay nearly that much for two or three vehicles!
You're right, for three reasons: First, you have one vehicle, so no multi-car discount for you. Back of the line! Second - and I have ranted on this in previous threads - every insurance policy is different. A '76 Ford LTD is obviously cheaper than a 2003 Dodge Grand Caravan. Think! And Third, you're an asshat, and I have absolutely no motivation to arbitrarily discount your rate just because you don't like it.
SC: Well, it looks like I'm going to have to start shopping around!
Now you get it! You finally grasp the theories of a capitalist free-market! Competition, price variances, consumer decision, supply and demand - you've graduated to eight-grade General Business! I hope your parents reward you with a shiny new bike!
Me: I completely understand, sir. However, if you obtain a quote from a competitor in writing, please feel free to provide it to us so we can attempt to match their rate.
SC: Well, why should I do that? Why should I have to mix-and-match!?!
WTF? You just told me you were going to shop around, yet when I suggest an opportunity to match a competitor's rate, you go batshit for Booberry Crunch?
SC: You know, I EXPECT my insurance company to give me the lowest rates possible!
Right, because we just "give" rates out like Easter eggs. I'm sure looking at the world through your rose-colored glasses provides a dreamy landscape where everybody gets everything handed to them on a silver platter with no rhyme or reason why everyone's equal. Wait a minute - that makes you a Communist. Which negates the necessity to shop around.
SC: Why should I have to shop around to find the lowest rate? It's RIDICULOUS!!! !!!ELEVENTY!!!
You're absolutely right - it IS ridiculous to think you would lift a finger to do anything, let alone shop around to actually try and save money, because that would require EFFORT on your part. Jesus, you open-mouth breathing sack, you can't even use enough energy to breathe right! God help us all if you crack open the Yellow Pages and attempt to dial! He's trying it - RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
At this point, I just kind of tuned him out, granting the occasional "Yes, sir" and "Uh-huh" until he eventually exhausted himself and most likely figured out I could really care less if he doesn't like our rates.
And to think I may be up for a promotion.
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