Hello, I'm Mrs. Ghost!

[PepperElf]

80s or 90s

yeah not all women go by this, but that's what the etiquette books say at least.

(though in my opinion if you're unsure, it never hurts to ask the woman what she wants to use)

[Jester]

My opinion? Fuck the etiquette book. Do what YOU are comfortable with.

Mrs. John Smith.
Mrs. Helen Smith.
Ms. Helen Smith.
Ms. Helen Jones (keeping the maiden name)
Ms. Helen Jones-Smith. (hyphenated)
Helen Jones Smith. (not hyphenated)

Etc., etc.

My little sister did the last one when she got married. She kept OUR last name, but added on her husband's last name at the end, if that makes sense. So she went from being Helen Jane Jones to Helen Jane Jones Smith.

Now, as I recall, her husband was supposed to do the same, adding OUR last name before his last name, so that they were both Jones Smith, but I am not sure if he ever followed through. Bloody Brits.

I know when I was engaged, The Brit and I didn't really discuss the whole name thing. I just assumed she was going to keep her name as it was, and that was perfectly fine with me.

Hell, my mom's done it two different ways. When she got married to my dad, she changed her last name, in the old fashioned way. But when her and my stepfather got together, she still kept my dad's name, and has never taken my stepfather's name. Which, as it turns out, is a great defense against telemarketers. Mom will answer the phone. Since everything is in my stepfather's name, a telemarketer will almost start out with, "Hello, Mrs. Smith." To which my mother will either hang up or state, matter-of-factly, "There is NO Mrs. Smith here." Which is truer than many of you may realize, as my stepfather's last name really IS Smith.

[draftermatt]

I wondered why the men didn't change their last names. Seriously, if the man's last name was Hogg and the woman's last name was Henderson, wouldn't it be better to take the woman's name? I guess that illustrates why I never quite fit in.

Oddly enough I read an article a year or two ago about men taking their wives name, and having a devil of a time doing so.

They mentioned one guy whose wife wanted to keep her name, so she asked him to take hers. He happily agreed, but when he went to the Social Security office he was told that "men don't do that" and he had to petition the court to have his name changed if I recall correctly.

My wife took my name and we'll often get things to Mr. & Mrs. Matthew ****** from lots of people/companies. However she's Mrs. her first name our last name to me or anyone else.

[LadyAndreca]

I once had a coworker who threatened to sue the DMV for gender discrimination, because they wouldn't change his DL when he married and changed his last name. He had the marriage certificate, but they wouldn't do it, so he asked 'what if my wife wanted to?', and they said 'oh, sure, we'd do it no problem' and he got pissed off. According to him, they got all when he started loudly talking about gender discrimination. Mostly because it was a guy saying it...

[Pixagi]

According to him, they got all when he started loudly talking about gender discrimination. Mostly because it was a guy saying it...

I hate it when people don't take gender discrimination against men seriously. It makes me want to hit someone with dildo or something.

As for the naming thing, I'm taking my fiance's name. I have a hyphenated name as my parents never married and my mother wanted me to have both. It's an identity thing with her. I'm sick of having a monstrosity of a name and, really, I'm not as connected with my blood family as I am with my fiance.

That, and my appearance has been confusing the hell out of people since I was born, o I can't wait to see the looks of utter confusion on people's faces when I explain that yes, I may look Latina, and may have a surname born in Spain, but I am in fact not Hispanic and I do not speak a lick of Spanish

[Jester]

I always see that option for Rev. and think it might be worth registering with the ULC church just so I have that option open to me.

Oh. My. WORD!

As some of you may remember, I DID register with the ULC to add a new level to my Beer Church Ministership. So I am now a legally ordained minister.

But it never occurred to me until JUST NOW that on forms, any forms, all forms, even legal forms, I can honestly and rightfully check the "Rev." box for my title, rather than just "Mr."

Oh my. OH MY.

Thank you, Kay, for opening my eyes to the obvious, and to the utter chaos and amusement this could cause in the future.

And who says life isn't good?

[Primer]

Husband #1, I kept Ms. MaidenName.

Husband #2, I went to Mrs. HisName.

#3 started as Mrs. Hisname, but quickly morphed to Mrs. Maiden-His as I started receiving another Mrs. Hisname's (not related) bills.

After each divorce, I returned to Ms. MaidenName.

I was 40+ years old when I married DH, and already owned a house and had a ton of credit in my own name. I stayed Ms. MaidenName simply because I did NOT want to go through all the legal crap to get everything changed, and although DH is not related, he shares his surname with a widely known political family. I did NOT want to go there!

eta: I do carry a copy of our marriage license in my wallet, just in case, and I carry a military dependent ID with both our names on it.