Just give me the error message!!!

[Dingwell]

Greetings all, I have lurked long enough. I now share with you my tales of woe...I work for a large telecommunications company. I will not state the name, but it sounds very similar to 'Kersnizon'.

Let us start with one that is especially memorable. One of exactly two hangups in five and a half years of tech support. A customer I will always remember as 'Mr. Volcanic.'

Dingwell: Me
SC: Mr. Volcanic. (Not his real name obviously.)

MV: My Email doesn't work!

Dingwell: I'd be happy to help you with that. What email program are you using and what error message are you getting?

MV: Are you stupid? Fix my email!!!

Dingwell: I do apologize for the difficulty that you are having. I'd be happy to help you with that if you can provide me with the email program are you using and the error message are you getting?

MV: Why are you asking me all these stupid questions? Just fix my email!!!

Dingwell: I'd like to do that, and we can as soon as you tell me what email program you are using and what error message are you getting?

MV: Why are you wasting my time like this!! Fix my Email! Fix MY EMAIL!

Dingwell: Sir, I've been trying to help you but you won't give me the information that I need to help you with this. I do apologize for that.

MV: You have the most piss poor attitude I have ever seen! I'm going to have your job if you keep this up! STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS AND FIX MY EMAIL!!!!

Dingwell: Unfortunately sir, I don't think it's going to be possible for me to fix anything without asking some questions. I do apologize for that.

MV: You're refusing to help me??!?!! Get me your manager right now you incompetent F**K!

Dingwell: Actually sir, I've offered to help you numerous times but you won't give me any of the information I need to fix your problem. I'll be happy to get you my...

MV: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR F**KING CRAP! GET ME YOUR F**CKING MANAGER RIGHT NOW!

Dingwell: Sir I'll be happy to get you my supervisor, but you're going to need to stop using that language or we'll have to....

MV: F**K YOU YOU LITTLE F****T! DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SPEAK! I'LL SAY WHATEVER THE F**K I WANT!

Dingwell: Sir, if you continue to use language like that I'm ending this call. I apologize...

MV: F**k YOU! YOU C*********G LITTLE...

Dingwell: Thank you for calling Kersnizon sir, please call us back when you have regained your composure. *click*

Yes, that call actually happened. Yes, that's pretty much word for word what happened. Yes, he called back in again and yes he got hung up on each time for the same reson. 'Customer became verbally abusive. Ending call.'

I swear, I never actually contemplated murder until I got this job...

Dingwell.

[tenzilkem]

those are some of the happiest days of my job hanging up on abusive gits like that. i get some that are hot right off to bat and want to complain, thats fine, when they start name calling to me, thank you you have 3 strikes and then you are disconnected on. and they get their account flagged meaning that they have to speak with customer care before tech support take them again. customer care gets the pleasure of telling em behave or their service contract on that particular system can be made null and void if they persist with the crappy treatment.

[Worker-Intellectual]

How is it possible for people be this stupid and angry?

[Hempress]

No way could I have been as calm about it as you appeared to be. I probably would have hung up on him a lot sooner and cried in the bathroom. There's a reason why I don't work with phones.

[karma_gypsy]

customer care gets the pleasure of telling em behave or their service contract on that particular system can be made null and void if they persist with the crappy treatment.

Nice . . . although I wonder what kind of winners those guys have to deal with.

Did Mr. Volcanic ever get his e-mail fixed?

[tenzilkem]

a friend who works customer care says that often they dont get any info from the customer just a lot of cursing and then the line goes dead.
rocket scientists the bunch of em!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I got this a lot at the pizza place; my boss there told us that the second a customer started being abusive, we could give them a warning then if they didn't calm down we could hang up on them. If they rang back, we wouldn't have to take the call. It's just soooo satisfying, hanging up on a loony tunes.

[Ringtail Z28]

I actually find it to be kinda fun to get a customer going like that on the phone. Especially when it sounds like they're losing their breath from flipping out and their voices get raspy.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I'd like to know what Mr. Volcanic did for a living-could he potentially deal with himself at his work?

Assuming that he was a mechanic:
SC: Fix my car!
Mr. V: OK, what's wrong with it?
SC: F*ck you and your dumbass question! Fix my f*cking car!
Mr. V: Umm, what kind of car do you have? Is it out in the parking lot?
SC: What f*cking difference does it make?!? You're asking me these Goddamned stupid questions, and my car is not getting fixed!

Assuming he was a teacher:
SC: My kid failed his test!
Mr. V: What is your child's name?
SC: What do you care? You think that he's a f*cking Dumb peice of sh*it!

...etc, and ad nauseum

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Definitely a PEBCAK error.

And now for something completely different...Mr Volcanic goes to the pharmacist.

MV: GIMME MY F****** PILLS!
Pharmacist: Ok, what is the name of the medication you were taking?
MV:WHY YOU ASKING ME THESE STUPID F****** QUESTIONS! THEY'RE PILLS! GIMME MY F****** PILLS!
P: Sir, I'm going to need the name of your medication.
MV: QUIT JERKING ME AROUND, YOU M*****F*****! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR F****** CRAP! YOU WANT ME TO GET SICK AND DIE YOU BASTARD! I WANT MY F****** PILLS NOW, YOU GOT THAT!?
P: Security?

[lordlundar]

And now for something completely different...Mr Volcanic goes to the pharmacist.

That might actually explain the call he made. He forgot his dose of Valium.

[friendofjimmyk]

In my company, you are absolutely not allowed to hangup on asshats like MV. I did once however because they do not pay me enough to put up with the abuse. PERIOD. After the barrage of FU's and "you stupid dumb B****" I said, "thank you for calling *****, have a nice day." and hung up.

[lordlundar]

In my company, you are absolutely not allowed to hangup on asshats like MV.

Nice. company policy prohibits it. Just tell them fedral labor laws trumps company policy and they state that you don't have to put up with that.

[pbmods]

Hehe. I just got this funny image of Mr. Volcanic getting all upset and cursing you out on the line. Then when you hang up on him, he slams down the receiver and goes to check his email. Then he does a Homer "D'oh!"

[Depot Denizen]

There could even be a whole short series of skits based around Mr. Volcanic! Mr. Volcanic The Musical!