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Just give me the error message!!!

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  • #31
    I think about the only thing that would get someone like that to change his ways would be an unfortunate incident of dropped soap in a communal shower with some unsavory gentlemen.

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    • #32
      Here's another Mr. Volcanic scene. In this scene, Mr. Volcanic stops at a convenience store and decides to buy a lottery ticket.

      Mr. Volcanic: I want a lottery ticket.

      Employee: Which game would you like?

      Mr. Volcanic: A lottery ticket.

      Employee: We have more than one game so which one would you like?

      Mr. Volcanic: I want you to stop asking me stupid questions and give me my lottery ticket!

      Employee: I will as soon as I know which game you want.

      Mr. Volcanic: Fine, then, I want Powerball.

      Employee: Sure.

      (Employee prints the ticket and Mr. Volcanic pays for it. Mr. Volcanic thanks Employee and leaves the store with the lottery ticket.)
      Last edited by purplecat41877; 01-17-2007, 01:03 PM.
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      • #33
        Or alternate Mr. Volcanic ending:

        MV: What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid? Give me my goddamn ticket!
        E: yes, but what kind?
        MV:&($&%*$!!!! I'm never shopping here again!
        E: See ya next week....

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        • #34
          A good portion of my job includes helping dealers determine if the ordering problem they have is something on their end, or if it is actually something with the system on our end. More times than I care to think of, I'll get a call that opens with "It won't let me order". Now, 'it' could be one of two computer systems, both of which work in slightly different ways to accomplish the same things.

          Once we determine what system we're 'fixing', it becomes my job to try & find out what errror they're getting. I do get the dealers that tell me what options are mentioned in the error message, but we get far too many that won't tell us what the computer is telling them is wrong. It's to the point that I'll build the car along with them, choosing the same options, since they have no clue what the error message is. Even telling them to read the line in RED text at the top of the page, they still don't get it. I'll get the car built, get the error message, tell them what it says, and then I'll hear "Yep, that's what mine says, too".

          Why, oh why, couldn't you have read that line to me 5 minutes ago?
          That is so full of suck Dyson doesn't know how they did it - shankyknitter

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          • #35
            An even better Mr. Volcanic buys a lottery ticket....

            Mr. V: I want a numbers ticket!
            Cashier: ok, what are your numbers?
            Mr.V : JUST GIVE ME A TICKET ALREADY. DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS!!!1
            Cashier: *hits quick pick* Ok, here you go.


            How I love that button...

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            • #36
              Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
              Definitely a PEBCAK error.

              And now for something completely different...Mr Volcanic goes to the pharmacist.

              MV: GIMME MY F****** PILLS!
              Pharmacist: Ok, what is the name of the medication you were taking?
              MV:WHY YOU ASKING ME THESE STUPID F****** QUESTIONS! THEY'RE PILLS! GIMME MY F****** PILLS!
              P: Sir, I'm going to need the name of your medication.
              MV: QUIT JERKING ME AROUND, YOU M*****F*****! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR F****** CRAP! YOU WANT ME TO GET SICK AND DIE YOU BASTARD! I WANT MY F****** PILLS NOW, YOU GOT THAT!?
              P: Security?
              There is a very, very good reason that I always go to the pharmacy to pick up The Boy's prescriptions. He is newly diagnosed with Bipolar and the first scrip they tried was Zyprexa, which is effective but pricey. The doctor had written the scrip for 3 months and had not warned The Boy about the price or that it was a longer prescription. He also did not mention that we could fill it 1 month at a time. Cue one $200 pharmacy charge and an instant meltdown... (You'd think the whole "it's an anti-psychotic" might have clued the doc in? Sheesh...)

              The pharmacist and staff were very understanding, though. They really are terrific people and I make sure to be EXTRA nice to them when I go in.

              Oh, and The Boy is doing 1000% better, thank God. Bipolar is scary but beatable.

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              • #37
                [QUOTE=Irving Patrick Freleigh;43650] rant and rave like a Tourette's patient off his meds.[QUOTE]

                Not to be a pain, here, but Tourette's is not a mood disorder. It can cause involuntary vocal tics, including shouting profanity, but the person affected by Tourette's is almost certainly a lot more distressed by said profanity than anyone who hears it. It is NOT a reaction to external events, except to the extent that stress can make the tics worsen.

                /psych student mode OFF

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                • #38
                  We used to have a guy with Tourette's come in my one store once in a while. I never heard profanities; he usually sounded like he was clearing his throat rather violently and sort of shouted out something unintellible. He seemed like a nice guy, though.
                  I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                  I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                  It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                  • #39
                    Yes, the throat-clearing or grunting vocal tics are much more common than profanities. They just don't make quite as much of an impression, I guess. There's a girl at my school with Tourette's and I actually didn't even know until she told me. She has a very slight sideways head-jerk combined with a soft "uh" sound. She says it used to be worse, but now it only bothers her when she is nervous about something.

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                    • #40
                      Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                      We used to have a guy with Tourette's come in my one store once in a while. I never heard profanities; he usually sounded like he was clearing his throat rather violently and sort of shouted out something unintellible. He seemed like a nice guy, though.
                      Weird! We had a guy like that at the bookstore where I worked. He'd make a bearish growly throat-clearing sound. And as he tended to shop on Saturday nights or other times when the store was pretty busy, and wander around and browse for a while, inevitably we'd have other customers rather shyly approach us and say, "Um, did you know there's a man over there...making noises?"
                      He loves the world...except for all the people.
                      --Men at Work

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