Stupid Warning Labels

[DGoddessChardonnay]

My cat peed in the dryer once. luckily there was laundry in there so it didnt ruin it.

Stil,*glares at cat*

As many times as my kitties have tried to get into the washer or dryer (we have a front loading washer) I've never had one pee in it.

However, I did have a cat once (the notorious Zoey) who killed 3 printers. Last year, I lost a keyboard and still haven't figured out who the culprit was (not Zoey, though. She's been gone 6 years.) Anytime a kitty pees wherever it shouldn't, we call it a "Zoey." As in "Somebody did a Zoey."

Most recently my police scanner fell victim to a Zoey. I suspect I know who the culprit was this time, but so far nobody's confessed.

[booger]

On carts

Attention: Please place in that big spot with 'PLEASE PUT CARTS HERE' in the parking lot. Failure to do this will cause this cart to follow you home and scratch the paint on your car.

Three days ago, my work decided to switch one wheel of every cart to a special weighted one. This is to prevent carts from smacking into cars of leaving the parking lot, due either to our high winds or to customer stupidity.

The side effect of the wheels is that it makes the carts a little harder to push. We have had so many complaints that I guess they are taking the weighted wheels off and putting the regular ones back on.

Except, oops! in a bit of coworker genius, someone decided that we wouldn't need all of the old wheels and threw them all away, so they have to buy more. *headdesk* And I bet as soon as the old wheels go back on, customers are going to complain about carts hitting their cars again. You just can't please some people.

[Slave to the Phone]

WOOT!!! I win!

Guns out here come with big orange lables that say something like "WARNING!!! Operation could lead to injury or death!!!" (I can't remember the exact words)

So...why would anyone buy a weapon that wouldn't do such a thing?

[Zombi]

How did someone manage that one???I mean what were they thinking . . . . . .well nevermind cause . . DUH . . .they never think!!
But seriously how did that happen??

Someone did that with a kid not too long ago:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=121004

[Spiffy McMoron]

Ah, thread necromancy!

I just saw this on a pair of my underwear. I'm not sure if it's a wraning label or directions, but it said:

"Change daily!"

That was their exclamation mark, by the way. Time to change brands, I think. Too bad, they were comfortable...

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Ah, thread necromancy!

I just saw this on a pair of my underwear. I'm not sure if it's a wraning label or directions, but it said:

"Change daily!"

That was their exclamation mark, by the way. Time to change brands, I think. Too bad, they were comfortable...

The scary part is that we actually have people who wouldn't change underwear daily if it weren't for the label.

I'm scared of humanity now

[Misanthropical]

I was picking up my eye glasses when I overheard the salespeople talking about getting yelled at by people, because they didn't tell them NOT to put their glasses in the microwave.

It has never occured to me to take my glasses off and nuke them.

[thegiraffe]

Mis, EVERYONE knows that you're supposed to nuke your glasses to kill the bacteria.

Geez! Get with the program!

[rvdammit]

Mis, EVERYONE knows that you're supposed to nuke your glasses to kill the bacteria.

Geez! Get with the program!

I was told it was so they'd glow in the dark. Night vision!

[Hempress]

My cat Tiggs got caught in the dryer once. He used to (and probably still does, actually) climb inside the dryer and sleep in freshly dried clothes because of the warmth. Only problem is that he blends in with everything and sometimes people at my mom's house forget whether the clothes have been dried or not (idiots, they are). Well, Tiggs was in there once when someone turned it on. He got spun around a few times, yowling up a storm, until someone let him out. According to my mom it was months before he went in the dryer again. But this is the cat that tries to climb in the grill or oven because the meat smells good. He's either not that bright or he has a death wish.

[Imogene]

Best warning ever? On a set of Japanese steak knives:
"Warning: Keep out of children!"

Back at McD's, we had a hanging ad for the Fruit and Walnut Salad (Snack Size). If you looked really close at the bottom of the sign, there was an addendum. An asterisk! Why, you might ask?

"*Warning, contains nuts!"

Holy crap! I never would've known!

Jim Gaffigan has a great stand up bit about Hot Pockets, and the warning that should be placed on it.
"Warning: You've just bought Hot Pockets! You better be drunk, or heading to your trailer!"