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I'm a security guard working at the offices of a major computer company. Like any business we have a specific spiel we have to say every time we answer the phone. Sometimes I wonder why, as it seems no one listens to it. It's not even long, so I don't have to say it fast to get it out of the way!
Phone rings.
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Man: Is this security?
Me: Yep.
Man: In Tucson?
Me: Yep.
Man: Okay, I need....
This has happened many, many times.
Then there was also this one along those lines. Note: our office handles making new employee IDs and badges as well as controlling which badges have access to certain areas:
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman: Oh, I doubt you would know, but I'll ask anyway. I need to know if you can add Lab XYZ access to my badge.
Being new, I didn't know if I could do this. So I told her as such, and also told her how she could get that information.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid I don't know if I can do that. If you call back at 8 AM there will be someone here who should be able to answer it(it was about 7:30 AM).
Woman: Oh, never mind.
She calls back the next day around the same time. By this time I have spoken to a coworker and now know that I can add access to badges, and how to go about doing that.
Phone rings.
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman: *Sigh* Are they just keeping it transferred to you?
Me: Excuse me, ma'am?
Woman: I want to talk to someone in Tucson about my badge!
Me: ...ma'am, this is the Tucson office.
Woman: Really?
Me: Yes. Who did you think it was?
Woman: Oh, I didn't recognize you! I though the guards were out of the office and had transferred the phones to the call center.(We do this any time we leave the office. We carry a company cell phone with us, and the call center will call us if anyone needs us)
In the end I was able to help her add the Lab access she needed to the card.
Then there's the wrong numbers!
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman: (Long unbroken line of Spanish, which I do not speak)
Me: Ma'am, do you speak English? I'm afraid I don't understand you.
Woman: Room?
Me: Excuse me?
Woman: Is room free? We need to stay tonight. How much?
Me: What?
Woman: We drive a long time. Need room to sleep. Anything free?
Me: Ma'am, this is the (Company) security office in Tucson. You have the wrong number.
Woman: This isn't a hotel?
Me: Nope. Security for (Company).
She hung up but immediately called back. It took me three full minutes to get her to understand that we were not a motel. I ended up looking up her number for the heck of it, and she was in Sonora, Mexico. I don't see how she could have screwed up the number so badly.
And this one just happened this morning!
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman(it's almost always women that do this. Why?): Yes, I need to bring in my car for service. It's still under warranty and blah blah blah...
She literally goes on and on for over two minutes. I repeatedly try to get a word in to explain that she has the wrong number, but she won't...stop...talking. Finally she goes quiet.
Me: Ma'am, you have the wrong number. This is the (Company) security office in Tucson.
Woman: Really? This isn't xxx-xxyx?
Me: No, this is xxx-xxxx.
Woman: Well why didn't you say that in the first place? I'll try calling them again!
And she hangs up, and I wonder if it's possible for me to choke myself to death with a pen.
Phone rings.
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Man: Is this security?
Me: Yep.
Man: In Tucson?
Me: Yep.
Man: Okay, I need....
This has happened many, many times.
Then there was also this one along those lines. Note: our office handles making new employee IDs and badges as well as controlling which badges have access to certain areas:
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman: Oh, I doubt you would know, but I'll ask anyway. I need to know if you can add Lab XYZ access to my badge.
Being new, I didn't know if I could do this. So I told her as such, and also told her how she could get that information.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid I don't know if I can do that. If you call back at 8 AM there will be someone here who should be able to answer it(it was about 7:30 AM).
Woman: Oh, never mind.
She calls back the next day around the same time. By this time I have spoken to a coworker and now know that I can add access to badges, and how to go about doing that.
Phone rings.
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman: *Sigh* Are they just keeping it transferred to you?
Me: Excuse me, ma'am?
Woman: I want to talk to someone in Tucson about my badge!
Me: ...ma'am, this is the Tucson office.
Woman: Really?
Me: Yes. Who did you think it was?
Woman: Oh, I didn't recognize you! I though the guards were out of the office and had transferred the phones to the call center.(We do this any time we leave the office. We carry a company cell phone with us, and the call center will call us if anyone needs us)
In the end I was able to help her add the Lab access she needed to the card.
Then there's the wrong numbers!
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman: (Long unbroken line of Spanish, which I do not speak)
Me: Ma'am, do you speak English? I'm afraid I don't understand you.
Woman: Room?
Me: Excuse me?
Woman: Is room free? We need to stay tonight. How much?
Me: What?
Woman: We drive a long time. Need room to sleep. Anything free?
Me: Ma'am, this is the (Company) security office in Tucson. You have the wrong number.
Woman: This isn't a hotel?
Me: Nope. Security for (Company).
She hung up but immediately called back. It took me three full minutes to get her to understand that we were not a motel. I ended up looking up her number for the heck of it, and she was in Sonora, Mexico. I don't see how she could have screwed up the number so badly.
And this one just happened this morning!
Me: (Company) security Tucson, this is (Me).
Woman(it's almost always women that do this. Why?): Yes, I need to bring in my car for service. It's still under warranty and blah blah blah...
She literally goes on and on for over two minutes. I repeatedly try to get a word in to explain that she has the wrong number, but she won't...stop...talking. Finally she goes quiet.
Me: Ma'am, you have the wrong number. This is the (Company) security office in Tucson.
Woman: Really? This isn't xxx-xxyx?
Me: No, this is xxx-xxxx.
Woman: Well why didn't you say that in the first place? I'll try calling them again!
And she hangs up, and I wonder if it's possible for me to choke myself to death with a pen.
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