We need Customers Suck Calendars

[Dark Psion]

That way I would know when Moron Day is coming and get sick ahead of time.

Moron One: Called up to Paint Dept to the caulking.

Moron: This Kitchen & Bath caulk, can I use it in the Bathroom?
Me: ??Yes??
Moron: OK.

Moron Two: I was taking to some people and one of them, Karen was her name I think, well Karen said she had this great red color she bought up here, and she said just tell them that you want Karen's Red.

Me: Uhh, Karen Who?

Moron: Oh I don't know, we didn't get to know each other, I just need that red of hers, so will you mix me some or not?

Me: Yeah, I'll get right on that.

[Worker-Intellectual]

Moron day is everyday...

Especially near Christmas

imagine... SC calendars... shudder...

"This is Jane. This 5'11" blonde likes to buy large objects and driving home in her VW Beetle. Of course, she doesn't load them herself. She always asks for free bungee cords and rope, because when you're buying the most expensive BBQ in the store, you can't afford to fritter away your money on things like a $2 pack of bungeee cords."

"This is Jennifer. This 5'9" single mom lets her kids drink vinegar."

"This is Michelle. You won't be seeing much of this 5'8" beauty, because she's never shoppping here again. Her favourite store is Everywhere Else. However, even though she's never shopping here again, she'll be back to complain in a week or two."

[Greenday]

Weren't we going to get a "Ladies of CS" calender? I know there was one for home depot...

[friendofjimmyk]

Doing a calendar with the SCs or a calendar with us?

This is friendofjimmyk seen here in her natural environment - the 4 x 4 cubicle, with double monitors. She is participating in the wonderful thing called multi-tasking, notice how she answers the phone, the chirping Nextels, the two way radios and maneuvers the calls between fleet and contractors all with a smile on her face at the same time!

[Dark Psion]

It could come with little stickers;
"Moron Day"
"Craby Old Lady Day"
"Dirty Old Man Day"
"The Day I Snaped on Someone"
"Vacation Day" This one would be printed under a clear sticker so you can't actually put it on the calendar.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

In keeping with the nature theme....

Here we see Bizotchius Enormius, ranting and raving at the store clerk frazzlediuos warm bodius, because the store has run out of the hot toy for the Christmas season, so naturally her child's Christmas is "f****** ruined".

And here is odiferous troglodytes. Like a skunk, you can readily smell him before you see him. That's because he wears the same stained undershirt and sweatpants every day, doesn't take showers and doesn't use deodorant. And, like a skunk, his stench lingers in the air long after he has left the store.

Look out! Here comes brattus hyperactivalia! This specimen is a well of inexhaustable energy synthesized from sugary cereals, because thats the only explanantion why he can run 49 laps around the store without rest, while his parents put forth a perfunctory effort to keep him close to them. Of course, should he be snatched up by a member of the pedophilia homicidyla maniacus family, the parents will blame the store.

Looks like frazzlediuos warm bodius has a furniture delivery for his next customer, and the customer brought a Dodge Caravan to take home the purchase. Joy! But unfortunately, frazzlediuos warm bodius must now deal with disogranizia packrattius, who has littered the Caravan with toys, blankets, tools, sporting equipment, and sundry other garbage which means frazzlediuos warm bodius cannot load the furniture into the vehicle and must play Tetris to rearrange everything and load the item. Should he suggest returning with a larger vehicle, disogranizia packrattius can suddenly morph into Bizotchius Enormius.

[Phone Jockey]

I just had someone ask me yesterday if our digital cable was digital.

[ArenaBoy]

PJ's SCs: Quite a rare breed and has the ability to wipe out millions of brain cells with a 10 mile radius. These customers ask obvious questions, completely stupid questions, or do things that you cannot believe they got past high school. Docile types are PJ's SCs but when provoked it is best to have a good comeback ready or flee.

[Dreamstalker]

I just had someone ask me yesterday if our digital cable was digital.

*fwoomp* Aw hell, not again...

[ShockQueen]

*fwoomp* Aw hell, not again...

AAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's great! I so need to keep remembering rule #1 around here.

[karma_gypsy]

Moron One: Called up to Paint Dept to the caulking.

Moron: This Kitchen & Bath caulk, can I use it in the Bathroom?

"Use it in the bathroom doing what . . . ?"

Here's your sign, buddy.

[Worker-Intellectual]

I once had some guy ask "what brand are the Mastercraft products?"

duh

[Dips]

Ooooo, a calendar!

Who would be Mr./Ms. October?

Because October is National Jerk Month.

And would Saints' days be listed?

Because Mysty's Huffapuffacow from the self-checkout could be featured as the Patroness of People in a Hurry. Of course, you would have to note her as a martyr.

[TNT]

Who would be Mr./Ms. October?

Because October is National Jerk Month.

October's also Halloween... the members here could dress up like jerks and SCs...

Which just gave me idea... to really scare some people on Halloween, I'm going to get a group of friends together and we'll dress up like a big extended family of jerks and SCs. We'll visit various retail establishments and spend a few minutes building up the idea that we're going to be very sucky customers... without actually being sucky... Say, each of us will grab a ten cent item and stand in line holding our checkbooks... but when we actually get to the cashier, we'll yell trick and treat, pay with cash and leave a tip.

Anybody in?

[Dark Psion]

Had a phone call today;

"Why do pumpkins have those bumpy ridges on them?"



On the good side, I think I blew her mind when I said that Pumpkins are fruit and cousins to cucumbers.