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Buddy, we just sell groceries....

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  • #1

    Buddy, we just sell groceries....

    Before college, I used to work at a local grocery store. Since I was the only employee who spoke French, I was to help any French-speaking customers in the store (which was rare, because the store was in the Southern US). Here's a gem from one of those conversations, translated as best as possible from French.

    Me:
    WFC: Weird French Customer (very handsome and well-dressed, I might add)

    Me: Hello, are you able to find everything you're looking for?
    WFC: No, I cannot find one thing.
    Me: I can help you find it. What are you looking for?
    WFC: Truth.
    Me: Truth?
    WFC: Yes. I have searched the world, but I cannot seem to find it. There is no Truth these days.
    Me: I don't know where to find that either. But if you need help finding any groceries, just ask me.

    Buddy, this is just a grocery store! If you wanna talk about abstract concepts and metaphysical ideals, go to a cafe or reading group or something. I'm definitely not smart enough to help you! (If he had been looking for a date, though, I bet I could have helped him with that )
    Tags: None
  • #2
    "For that, I recommend dilbert.com"
    Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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    • #3
      La vérité!!!

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      • #4
        Maybe he can team up with Diogenes... diogenes will carry the lamp and this guy could carry... idk.. a carrot?
        I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

        "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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        • #5
          What do you expect? He's French...

          j/k

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          • #6
            I get a lot of customers who want something abstract like that. Except they ask such questions because they think they are clever.
            Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

            Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

            I wish porn had subtitles.

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            • #7
              Quoth GiftShopGirl View Post
              Buddy, this is just a grocery store! If you wanna talk about abstract concepts and metaphysical ideals, go to a cafe or reading group or something. I'm definitely not smart enough to help you!
              That reminded me of a Bloom County comic.
              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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              • #8
                42

                but absolute truth is like tomorrow you can look forward to it but you can never grasp it

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                • #9
                  Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                  That reminded me of a Bloom County comic.
                  It reminded me of this.

                  Next time tell him that it's a schedule II controlled substance and he'll need to take a prescription to the pharmacist.

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                  • #10
                    Now THAT is just funny
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                    • #11
                      I like that.

                      Is that a minority opinion?
                      Unseen but seeing
                      oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                      There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                      3rd shift needs love, too
                      RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                      • #12
                        Truth? No.
                        But I know where you can buy some Hope!

                        Hope - sold in most grocery stores in Japan. And no I'm not kidding... I saw it myself. I'm just not sure what they're hoping for...

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