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Flatulence, baseball bats and sand in the vajayjay (Long and fairly epic)

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  • #16
    Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
    Basically an emo haircut. One can be found on Pete Wentz, for example.
    *Blinks*

    HEY! I HAD THAT HAIRCUT SINCE I WAS 10 YEARS OLD! THAT FUCKER! MOM! GET THE STRAIGHT RAZOR I'M CUTTING MY HAIR!

    *Walks off to find a razor or pair of scissors or hedge clippers or butcher's knife or SOMETHING to cut his hair with, cussing the whole time*
    Now a member of that alien race called Management.

    Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

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    • #17
      Quoth RetailWorkhorse View Post
      *Blinks*

      HEY! I HAD THAT HAIRCUT SINCE I WAS 10 YEARS OLD! THAT FUCKER! MOM! GET THE STRAIGHT RAZOR I'M CUTTING MY HAIR!

      *Walks off to find a razor or pair of scissors or hedge clippers or butcher's knife or SOMETHING to cut his hair with, cussing the whole time*
      *raises a hand* i have several electric razors and a couple straight razors... and tentative expertise in shaving someone's head... and i even have a pair of barber's scissors... i can chop it!
      "FUCK NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKY ALIEN MOTHERSHIP ORANGES. " - Cookiesaur
      ~~

      Munkie's NaNo WC: 9648

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      • #18
        Quoth fireheart17 View Post
        Who steals a packet of seeds?
        Other than that, stoooooooooooopppiiiid
        Wanna know his reason for stealing them, as given to LP and the police?

        Because he read or heard someplace that if he put the seeds in a glass of water and drank it, he would hallucinate.

        They were morning glory seeds, if that means anything.

        I didn't get to do any crowd control today, but I did see LP ushering one group of kids out the door and the cops were there again when I left for the day.
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #19
          Quoth blas87 View Post
          I mean, 4 inches in just a couple of hours.....no sleet or rain but we got some thunder and lightning too!
          Oh you southerners with your wussy less than a half foot at a time snow showers. We got our full nine inches I'd say, but I was happy that it was a lot fluffier than the temperature would have led me to believe. Aren't snow and lightening a great mix though?

          @IPF - We had the "Two at a time" rule in my c-store back in Chicago too. It is a DELIGHT to enforce!

          And screw the shoplifting - at least that's a thrill (I guess. Although, also, what kind of kid tells security/police he wanted to get high?) What kind of loser teener hangs out in a FURNITURE DEPARTMENT??!!!! Just sad.

          I think I'd be tempted to sidle up to whoever looks like the ringleader and say "So. Having fun?" [Wait for unintelligible response.] "Well. I guess all the other kids are gonna be pretty jealous of you on Monday when you tell them that you spent both your half days hanging out at IPF Store's furniture department, eh?"

          Walk away shaking head and laughing at hopeless patheticness.

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          • #20
            Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
            Because he read or heard someplace that if he put the seeds in a glass of water and drank it, he would hallucinate.

            They were morning glory seeds, if that means anything.
            While it is possible as the seeds contain ergot alkaloids, he'd need a hell of a lot more than one packet (the seeds can also be treated with either a mild poison to prevent ingestion or methylmercury so they don't rot).
            "I am quite confident that I do exist."
            "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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            • #21
              Quoth sms001 View Post

              And screw the shoplifting - at least that's a thrill (I guess. Although, also, what kind of kid tells security/police he wanted to get high?) What kind of loser teener hangs out in a FURNITURE DEPARTMENT??!!!! Just sad.

              I think I'd be tempted to sidle up to whoever looks like the ringleader and say "So. Having fun?" [Wait for unintelligible response.] "Well. I guess all the other kids are gonna be pretty jealous of you on Monday when you tell them that you spent both your half days hanging out at IPF Store's furniture department, eh?"

              Walk away shaking head and laughing at hopeless patheticness.
              Those little punks probably wouldn't even care. At school on Monday they'd probably be all like "Hey, did you see what I did with that silly string?"

              Or "I walked around sucking helium out of a balloon and telling everybody 'My bungholio is made of oleo!' LULZ!"

              Or "Lookit this sweet can of shoe polish I swiped!"

              When I was in junior high--the very same junior high these kids seem to be coming from--it never occurred to me to spend my half days at the clearance swamp/dog bordello, harassing all the employees and customers and causing mischief. I really must've been an out-of-it loser.
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • #22
                Quoth Nurian View Post
                Okay, then I propose this: all gaming communities should make dedicated servers for those who aren't old enough (or mature enough) to have had their (blanks) descend, if they are male. Female gamers will be taken on a case by case basis. That may sound a little reversed-sexist, but I've never heard abuse from a female gamer.
                You haven't been on my server!!

                I troll trolls.
                SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
                SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

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                • #23
                  Quoth sms001 View Post
                  What kind of loser teener hangs out in a FURNITURE DEPARTMENT??!!!! Just sad.
                  Back when I was a teenager, I used to lurk in furniture departments.

                  Because, you know, there was always a chance we would need a particular piece of furniture. I was always comparison shopping.

                  At my Grandma's house, Becks and I were allowed to make the basement and the breezeway over as our own personal living areas for when our friends came over.

                  Thanks, once again, for the generalization.
                  I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                  Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth sms001
                    What kind of loser teener hangs out in a FURNITURE DEPARTMENT??!!!! Just sad.
                    Quoth Bella_Vixen
                    Back when I was a teenager, I used to lurk in furniture departments.

                    Because, you know, there was always a chance we would need a particular piece of furniture. I was always comparison shopping.

                    At my Grandma's house, Becks and I were allowed to make the basement and the breezeway over as our own personal living areas for when our friends came over.

                    Thanks, once again, for the generalization.
                    Now before you two get into it, there's a difference between what Bella and Becks did, and what the kids at my store do, which is what sms seems to be getting at.

                    I imagine that Becks and Bella would look at different pieces when they went furniture shopping, and might sit on chairs and sofas to see how they feel, and generally make it clear they're looking to buy something.

                    The kids in my store don't do that. They just plop their butts down on the futons and chairs or wherever they can sit, and suck on their sodas on Dairy Queen ice cream treats, play with their cell phones and iPods, put their feet up all over everything and leave dirty footprints,shoot the shit, and leave their garbage there when they leave. It's obvious they're not looking to buy anything.
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      I know what your saying Irv, and hell, I was known to plop my ass down on the furniture displays once in a great while...but to say "what kind of loser teenager..." got me on the raw.

                      *moving on*

                      I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                      Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Quoth Bella_Vixen View Post
                        I know what your saying Irv,<snip> got me on the raw.
                        Can we just try and have a little less hyper-sensitivity all around? People know what other people mean most of the time, and it's fine to state you're not like that. Busting other people's chops about it though, is NOT acceptable. If you had a problem, report it.
                        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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                        • #27
                          Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                          Can we just try and have a little less hyper-sensitivity all around?

                          Thick skin here Brooms, but I know where Bella's coming from - older people called me and my crew "loser teens" all the time and it's irritating especially when you aren't actually involved in mischief at the moment.

                          And sadly, we couldn't call those adults on it - there wasn't an internet where we regularly interacted with them. And, of course, even HAD I meant it in an objectionable way, it would have been a backhanded compliment - the younger people here on CS are so lacking in the attributes that lead to that attitude on the part of adults in the first place that I usually don't think of them BEING younger, especially as a detriment. Just as I rarely consider where from, or what race.

                          That said, Bella, the context AND syntax of my post was that these people were "losers" because of the trouble they were causing at the store, not because of their age. (The difference is between the term "loser teener" which describes an individual, and "another teen loser" which would be generalizing from an individual to a group.)

                          And the perceived behavior is that younger troublemakers make trouble at movies, or food courts, or school or other places that teens tend to hang out. I mean, it's silly to seek attention from your peers if there aren't any peers around. The juxtaposition between a rebellious youth and someplace as pedestrian and mundane as the furniture department was what caught my attention. It's like James Dean on a park bench instead of a motorcycle

                          The biggest bummer to pulling the age card is that everyone older than you has been your age. And the 'age gap' question has been with us for a while:

                          I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
                          the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless
                          beyond words.

                          When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of
                          elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of
                          restraint.
                          --- Hesiod, Eighth Century B.C.



                          Sorry I set you on edge BV, it was honestly a misunderstanding.

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                          • #28
                            Pretty much all I gotta say is that if those little brats had my dad as a father they wouldn't be acting like that, and certainly NOT be calling ANY grown-up an "ugly bitch".

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