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Tales From The Drugstore: You Can Lead A Man To Alcohol

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  • Tales From The Drugstore: You Can Lead A Man To Alcohol

    At the drugstore we had an incentive program: if an employee saw another employee providing exemplary customer service, they would fill out a card identifying the employee in particular and a short description of what they witnessed. The card would then go into one of many plastic sleeves that were attached to a bulletin board located in the employee lounge. After a certain amount of time (I can't remember how long, perhaps every quarter) there would be a draw; whomever had their name pulled would win a prize.

    On one of these cards was the following description:
    "<name of employee>
    For attacking that old man who was stealing rubbing alcohol."

    The story behind this card began when I innocently aided and abetted a would-be thief, back when I was in the first of what would be my ten-month stint at the drugstore.

    While in the midst of my usual task of stocking shelves (which I would do when I wasn't behind the cash register) a seemingly sweet old man approached me and very politely asked me where he could find the rubbing alcohol. Rather than verbally direct him, I walked him right through the aisle and to the shelf where they were stocked. He was asking me for a specific kind of rubbing alcohol, and I was more than happy to help him, even more so because he was so polite.

    Well, fast forward to a few days later, when I see the card in question on the bulletin board, and ask another employee about it. Turns out that kindly old man had attempted to steal that rubbing alcohol, but had been stopped by the employee whose name was on the card. (Of course, she didn't ACTUALLY attack him - it was a big joke because she's in fact the sweetest, kindest person you could meet.) Apparently, he had taken the rubbing alcohol so he could DRINK it.

    Now I'm not sure how they knew that he intended to drink it, as I doubt he volunteered this information. Perhaps they assumed he was going to do so because this drugstore seems to be a hotbed for homeless people and alcoholics stealing mouthwash.

    And to think that *I* was the one who unknowingly helped him out! But if you're going to steal something, why would you draw attention to yourself by asking for help to find it?
    Last edited by Melicious Motormouth; 03-09-2009, 01:43 PM.
    http://prosenylund.wordpress.com/

  • #2
    Quoth Melicious Motormouth View Post
    At the drugstore we had an incentive program: if an employee saw another employee providing exemplary customer service, they would fill out a card identifying the employee in particular and a short description of what they witnessed. The card would then go into a bulletin board that had plastic sleeves in which the card would go. After a certain amount of time (I can't remember how long, perhaps every quarter) there would be a draw; whomever had their name pulled would win a prize.
    We had the exact same thing at my store: If you caught somebody giving great customer service, your gave them a "STAR card."

    On half the card, you wrote down what the person did and gave it to them. On the other half, you wrote down your name, the name of the person you gave the card to, and what they did to receive the card and tossed that piece into a box.

    Then every so often there would be a drawing. If your card was picked, you got a $10 gift card, and the person who gave you that card got a $5 gift card.

    Result: employees writing up and giving out STAR cards for any reason or no reason at all. Stuff like helping bring in shopping carts, unloading the truck, and my personal favorite was one card reading "Thank you for being awesome!" All this just to recieve a measly $5.

    As for the rest of your story: The guy with the rubbing alcohol had to be pretty far gone to even try drinking that stuff.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • #3
      Yuck.

      I just read the formula on Wikipedia for Rubbing Alchohol: 8 parts Acetone, 1 1/2 part Methyl Isobutyl Ketone (another nasty solvent), 100 parts Ethanol, and then diluted with water to the strength on the bottle. Also tossed in are a couple of bittering agents to make it taste extra vile. (Not that bittering agents are going to stop a hard-core alcoholic.)

      The alternative to rubbing alcohol, isopropyl, is more than twice as potent (15g can be a fatal dose for a grown man)... yummy.

      SirWired

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      • #4
        I was impressed because I know what isopropyl does to your GI tract. It would be a Darwin moment for sure......

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        • #5
          yep, if he wants a darwin award, i say let him have it.

          wow, what a desparate way to go...
          look! it's ghengis khan!
          Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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          • #6
            Quoth Melicious Motormouth View Post
            But if you're going to steal something, why would you draw attention to yourself by asking for help to find it?
            Just look at your own reaction to that. He came up to as a customer, was polite, knew what he wanted even if he didn't know where or specifically which one he wanted and it totally set your alert status to "no threat".

            M
            I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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            • #7
              employees writing up and giving out STAR cards for any reason or no reason at all.
              i am not surprised...

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              • #8
                Quoth Melicious Motormouth View Post
                Apparently, he had taken the rubbing alcohol so he could DRINK it.
                Maybe he should have gotten the malt vinegar.
                "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                • #9
                  holy cow... i'm totally engrossed in the vinegar thread
                  tho truth be told... i rather love the taste of vinegar myself (my mouth is already watering), tho i'd never down a half bottle of it.

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                  • #10
                    I remember from a highschool biology class that enough Ethanol alcohol can cause blindness and some other problems too. I think I've lost my appetite, I was nomming on a chocolate shake even.
                    "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

                    ...Beware the voice without a face...

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