T-T-Tequila!

[customersruinmylife]

I forgot to mention this when I posted last night.

Two women come up to order. Why is it always drunk women that annoy me?

SC1: Two shots of tequila!!
SC2: Yes, it makes me happy!

Oh...I've never heard that one before

I turn around to get the shot glasses.

SC1: Hurry up!
SC2: What is taking him so long?

One second is too long? Oh no she didn't.

SC1: Our husbands are parking the car! We don't want them to know we've been drinking tequila!
SC2: Hurry!! Are you new or stupid or something?? Hurry!!

I deliberately slowed down. They hadn't even given me enough time to find the shot glasses they were that impatient.

Joy! The tequila bottle was empty. I had to go out back and get another!

SC1: Hurrrrrrrryyyyyy! They're gonna be here in a minute!

I went out back, slowly, replied to a couple of text messages on my phone, had a chat with the boss, then went to find the bottle of tequila.

The women are looking anxious, constantly turning around looking for their husbands. One of them is slamming her hands on the bar. I poured the shots slooooowwwwlllly.

SC1: Come on! Is this the first time you have worked in a bar?? We need them NOW!
Me: Ok, I just need to go to the kitchen to cut up a lime for you.
SC2: You don't have any lime behind the bar?!?!
Me: Not at the moment no.

We did.

I did the same again. Went into the kitchen, there was already some lime freshly prepared and cut up, but I took my time.

I walk back out. I hear the two women bitching about me to a co-worker.

SC1: Does he know what he's doing?!?!
CW: I should think so...he's the new manager here.

I present them with the lime and tequila. They pay.

SC1: Salt! Where's the salt?!?
Me: Oh, I'll just go to the kitchen and get you a salt shaker!

I slowly walked back to the kitchen. Co-worker whispered to me.

CW: There's a salt shaker right there.
Me: I know

I was a bit quicker getting the salt shaker. I decided I had wound them up enough.

SC1: Geez! Finally! We can have our shots!

The two of them started singing "T-t-tequila. It makes me happy!"...

...just as their husbands walked in.

Husband: What are you doing? I thought we were just going to have a quiet drink!
SC1: Uhhh...uhhh...we are!
Husband: Then why the tequila?!? I'm not putting up with you if you get shit faced and make an arse out of yourself again like last week!
SC1: *to me* See! That's why I wanted the shots in a hurry!
Me: Sorry, but I had to go find a new bottle.

[slavetotheman]

Hahaha -- brilliant pwnage! I could see the entire episode unfolding in my head.

[Apathy]

You always have the best stories.
Excellent work yet again.

[Jester]

You are far more patient than me.

Someone pulls that "Hurry up!" crap at my bar when I have not had enough time to even do something like get the shotglasses? Let ALONE question my competence and/or intelligence? They usually get the Lean Over.

As in, I lean over, look them right in the eye, and ask, "You really don't want to drink at my bar, do you?"

I like your slow motion retaliation, but I don't know that I would have been able to restrain myself as well as you did.

[Crab]

Ha, my mum does that if someone starts honking her when she's driving. She drives at the limit, so a honk just gets the whole oh no you didn't treatment. She slows down to ten below the limit, more if she's feeling especially evil... and suddenly becomes this awful driver who doesn't really give many chances to overtake.

[chainedbarista]

awesome moves on the bar floor; kudos to hubbies who call their spouses out on their stupid drinking behaviors-it's an all around win!

[Jester]

Speaking of spouses, I have to tell you that is not all that uncommon for someone to come to the bar when the rest of their party is in the dining room, or upstairs (or come to the upstairs bar when their party is downstairs) or when their spouse is shopping elsewhere for a shot of something, usually straight vodka.

Not exactly the greatest endorsement for the ecstasy of matrimony.

[AriRashkae]

Not exactly the greatest endorsement for the ecstasy of matrimony.

See, you never see the happy couples because we're at home, brewin' our own.

[fireheart]

*starts singing and humming Tequila*

Excellent pwnage

[crashhelmet]

I used to get one of our cooks come tot he bar for an after-shift drink and give me crap like that. So, I'd grab his beer bottle and take it to him without opening it. Then, right before I got to him, I'd shake the hell out of it and set it down in front of him. He'd have to wait for it to settle before he could open it, because I sure as hell wasn't going to.

CH

[RayvenQ]

The drink that I always have, I'll never ever get impatient with how long it takes, why? I'm a Guinness Drinker.

[Threesidedorchid]

HA. That's awesome.

[Hobbs]

*starts singing and humming Tequila*

Excellent pwnage

[singing]

I told her, "Put an extra layer on,"
I know what happens when she drinks Patron,
Her closets missing half the things she bought;
Yeah, tequilla makes her clothes fall off...

Sorry, couldn't resist!

[trunks2k]

Ha, my mum does that if someone starts honking her when she's driving. She drives at the limit, so a honk just gets the whole oh no you didn't treatment. She slows down to ten below the limit, more if she's feeling especially evil... and suddenly becomes this awful driver who doesn't really give many chances to overtake.

That's really dangerous.

[Taboo]

SC2: You don't have any lime behind the bar?!?!
Me: Not at the moment no.

We did.

....

Husband: Then why the tequila?!? I'm not putting up with you if you get shit faced and make an arse out of yourself again like last week!

Haha, wow. I love your passive-aggressive slowness there. Major kudos to the husband though; I'm surprised he's managed to put up with her for so long. (And really, wouldn't you just say you were going on a 'girls night out' if you didn't want your husband to know?? It's not that hard!)