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^---approximately the noise I made after I hung up the phone from this. This woman was pissed and screaming the whole time so I won't bother to cap everything she says. Also, I wouldn't usually be so polite but we had visitors at this point so I didn't want to start dropping bombs left and right on the phone. Fucking visitors. (Admittedly, I'm also just working at being more polite. I don't think it's going to stick.)
Me: Newsroom.
Hosebeast: Ya'll misrun the *Boston* obit again! (grammar OMG)
Me: Just a moment.
*retrieves form and today's paper. Notices there are two obituaries in the paper for Boston today-I don't know why there's two but I'd be willing to bet a major snafu on the family's part-a free one, which is what I do, and a paid one, which is what the people downstairs do. Free ones have certain limitations and things since they're a free service. Paid obits are Exactly What It Says On The Tin...advertising bought by the family. Anyway...*
Me: Okay, ma'am, what was the error?
Hosebeast: There is two things in the paper today for Boston and they's BOTH wrong!
Me: Okay, I work on the free obituaries up here so what's the problem with that one?
Hosebeast: Ya'll left all the son-in-laws off!
Me: *checks, the limit on survivors for free obits was massively exceeded, hence* Yes, ma'am, we can only do 10 survivors by name on our free obits unless there are more immediate family members, so in-laws are usually left off.
Hosebeast: So ya'll just left them off??
Me: ...yes ma'am, like I said, there's a limit on the free obits-
Hosebeast: Ya'll left her father off, too, that preceded her in death.
Me: *Do the funeral homes not explain any of this anymore?* Yes, ma'am, we only include preceded in death by parents if the person is 40 or younger.
Hosebeast: Well it's in this other obit!
Me:
Yes ma'am, that's a paid obituary, you can put whatever you-
Hosebeast: It ain't right neither!
Me: *double negatives ahoy* Well, that's handled in advertising ma'am, I can transfer you down to them-
Hosebeast: Her mother's name is *Smith* and ya'll have *Davis* instead!
Me: Well, like I said, the advertising depa-
Hosebeast: And you left the son-in-laws off!
Me:
Yes, ma'am, on the free one, we did because of the limit. I'm looking at the paid obit here and the sons-in-law are included.
Hosebeast: ...they are?
Me: Yes ma'am.
Hosebeast: And her daddy that preceded her in death?
Me: Yes ma'am, he's included as well.
Hosebeast: And her mama?
Me: She's on here.
Hosebeast: No, no, the name is wrong! It should be Smith and it's Davis!
Me: Well, ma'am, on our free obit, we do have her as Davis.
Hosebeast: No, no no no, here is says Smith!
Me: Yes, ma'am, that's the paid one which is handled in advertising. I can transfer you down to them.
Hosebeast: I need both these redone!
Me: *lots of deep breaths at this point, patience was gone five minutes ago* Well, ma'am, we can't rerun the free one because there was no error made, it was just done according to our format, but I can transfer you to advertising about the paid one so if there was an error, they can fix that for you.
Hosebeast: So you're telling me you won't do nothing to fix this??
Me: Ma'am, we can't do anything with the FREE obit, but if the paid obituary has an error, I can transfer you so you can talk to advertising about it.
Hosebeast: JUST NEVER MIND BITCH!! *slams down phone*
Me: *makes noise from thread title...fortunately visitors have gone at this point*
Thank God for Cheetos Puffy and brownies or there'd be more broken electronics around here than there already are. *munch munch takes out rage on own body*
Me: Newsroom.
Hosebeast: Ya'll misrun the *Boston* obit again! (grammar OMG)
Me: Just a moment.
*retrieves form and today's paper. Notices there are two obituaries in the paper for Boston today-I don't know why there's two but I'd be willing to bet a major snafu on the family's part-a free one, which is what I do, and a paid one, which is what the people downstairs do. Free ones have certain limitations and things since they're a free service. Paid obits are Exactly What It Says On The Tin...advertising bought by the family. Anyway...*
Me: Okay, ma'am, what was the error?
Hosebeast: There is two things in the paper today for Boston and they's BOTH wrong!
Me: Okay, I work on the free obituaries up here so what's the problem with that one?
Hosebeast: Ya'll left all the son-in-laws off!
Me: *checks, the limit on survivors for free obits was massively exceeded, hence* Yes, ma'am, we can only do 10 survivors by name on our free obits unless there are more immediate family members, so in-laws are usually left off.
Hosebeast: So ya'll just left them off??
Me: ...yes ma'am, like I said, there's a limit on the free obits-
Hosebeast: Ya'll left her father off, too, that preceded her in death.
Me: *Do the funeral homes not explain any of this anymore?* Yes, ma'am, we only include preceded in death by parents if the person is 40 or younger.
Hosebeast: Well it's in this other obit!
Me:
Yes ma'am, that's a paid obituary, you can put whatever you-Hosebeast: It ain't right neither!
Me: *double negatives ahoy* Well, that's handled in advertising ma'am, I can transfer you down to them-
Hosebeast: Her mother's name is *Smith* and ya'll have *Davis* instead!
Me: Well, like I said, the advertising depa-
Hosebeast: And you left the son-in-laws off!
Me:
Yes, ma'am, on the free one, we did because of the limit. I'm looking at the paid obit here and the sons-in-law are included.Hosebeast: ...they are?
Me: Yes ma'am.
Hosebeast: And her daddy that preceded her in death?
Me: Yes ma'am, he's included as well.
Hosebeast: And her mama?
Me: She's on here.
Hosebeast: No, no, the name is wrong! It should be Smith and it's Davis!
Me: Well, ma'am, on our free obit, we do have her as Davis.
Hosebeast: No, no no no, here is says Smith!
Me: Yes, ma'am, that's the paid one which is handled in advertising. I can transfer you down to them.
Hosebeast: I need both these redone!
Me: *lots of deep breaths at this point, patience was gone five minutes ago* Well, ma'am, we can't rerun the free one because there was no error made, it was just done according to our format, but I can transfer you to advertising about the paid one so if there was an error, they can fix that for you.
Hosebeast: So you're telling me you won't do nothing to fix this??
Me: Ma'am, we can't do anything with the FREE obit, but if the paid obituary has an error, I can transfer you so you can talk to advertising about it.
Hosebeast: JUST NEVER MIND BITCH!! *slams down phone*
Me: *makes noise from thread title...fortunately visitors have gone at this point*
Thank God for Cheetos Puffy and brownies or there'd be more broken electronics around here than there already are. *munch munch takes out rage on own body*
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