Fear Gravy

[Bosch]

I have to agree with the caller about the parking though. I lived in an apartment building that was full of college kids and you better have been home before 10pm or you paid for parking space was gone to some kid who was at a party in some apartment. And street parking was not possible unless you wanted to walk 6 blocks(been there done that). So yeah I had a nasty habit of calling security and getting cars towed out at 2-3am when I came home from work. I paid $50 a month for that double space and you were not going to get it for free. $350 to get your car back from being towed.

If you are going send out harrassing letters about who parks where you better be ready to enforce it by having a tow truck on call to haul them out and numbers that work.

Not a personal attack but a logical one.

[Gravekeeper]

I have to agree with the caller about the parking though.
Not a personal attack but a logical one.

Oh I completely understand where he's coming from ( As I tried to explain to him ). Its just the number he's calling is for 3 reasons and 3 reasons only: Fire, flood and death. Period. Literally, that's the emergency list the client gave us. Fire, flood, DEATH. We have nothing to do with parking, no control over parking, no information about parking, no control over these mystical letters he's receiving about parking and no contacts for parking even if we were inclined to break policy and help him.

He either needs to call security or his building manager. Both of which he should know. Because even if I wanted too I can't do shiat for him and if I tried I'd get in shiat myself.

[StanFlouride]

The Exhibitionist story reminded me of this classic video (For $10,000 I'd touch the poles too):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVeqNuHcb-I
And having read this today: http://www.nbcaugusta.com/news/georgia/41186647.html
I would have SO tempted to tell the person in SNAAAAKKKKEEE to consider renting a forklift.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

*huddled in a corner*
The gravy's a lie, the gravy's a lie, the gravy's a lie.....

The cake too.....

cookie for the reference

Thanks for yet another look into your dark, dark world.

[prb]

the fear gravy was probably forgotten on the bus a while ago. Just yesterday I saw a transfer on the wheel-well on the inside of the bus FROM 2005

[Drakstern]

*huddled in a corner*
The gravy's a lie, the gravy's a lie, the gravy's a lie.....

The cake too.....

Well, it was a triumph.

Personally, I think this particular glimpse into GK's world requires more Re: Your Brains.

Though as always, Mr Fancy Pants applies.

[NightWatch]

*huddled in a corner*
The gravy's a lie, the gravy's a lie, the gravy's a lie.....

The cake too.....

cookie for the reference

Thanks for yet another look into your dark, dark world.

Portal!! That game is evil.

[Jester]

the fear gravy was probably forgotten on the bus a while ago. Just yesterday I saw a transfer on the wheel-well on the inside of the bus FROM 2005

Yes, but the transfer is a little piece of paper, easily missed by cleaning crews, and frankly, could have been dropped by someone rooting around in their wallet, pocket, bag, etc.

The gravy? Not so much.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Though as always, Mr Fancy Pants applies.

Don't let the Nunavutians see that, or Gatekeeper will be in for a rough time.

[Broomjockey]

Don't let the Nunavutians see that, or Gatekeeper will be in for a rough time.

Gravekeeper. The Gatekeeper doesn't have much to do with Nunavut, despite being geographically closer.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Gravekeeper. The Gatekeeper doesn't have much to do with Nunavut, despite being geographically closer.

Alas, I have already been called on that. All I can say is "oops."

[Mango]

Though as always, Mr Fancy Pants applies.

And here's the complete opposite: No pants!

m.

[Broomjockey]

Alas, I have already been called on that. All I can say is "oops."

Ah, I only read that thread afterwards. I apologize for doing it a second time to you. *bows*

[HawaiianShirts]

SNAAAAKKKKEEE~
( This is a "oh god the building is on fire!" type line. )

SC: “Someone’s parked in our spot!”

Oh, here we go….

<snip>

SC: “We have a sick person in the house and it’s a lot easier if we can park in that spot!!!!!”

Ah yes. Notice how everyone suddenly becomes ill, crippled, disabled, has a 90 year old grandmother or is pregnant with triplets once it becomes evident they aren’t getting their way? Why I’d say the leading cause of death in the country by now must be “unacceptable” customer service.

Me: “Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do-“
SC: “YES YOU CAN! CALL THE TOW TRUCK! CALL THE TOOOW TRUCK!?##”
Me: “No.”
SC: “.....what!?”

Never heard that word before?

Me: “I cannot do that. As I’ve explained, I can’t help with parking issues at this hour. This line is for emergencies-“
SC: “BULLSH*T!”
Me: “I-“
SC: “BULLLLSH*T!”
Me: “-und-“
SC: “BULLLLLLLLLLLLSHHHHHHHH*******T!!!!!!!”

And with that last primal vow, fists quivering towards the night sky in rage he hung up on me. After which I assume he wandered off to go all Street Fighter 2 bonus stage on the offending vehicle.

Obviously a person used to getting his way. I think you're right in assuming he wasn't used to hearing the word "no" and probably had forgotten its true meaning. In his vocabulary, "no" means "I don't want to help you because I'm lazy and stupid."

While I have to express my condolences for having to put up with that guy, I must say that this piece is one of your best stories yet, I think. Your Street Fighter 2 reference and the death-by-unacceptable-customer-service line had me laughing so hard I awoke my wife a room away, and that is a significant feat since she has hearing impairments and takes out her hearing aids before going to bed!