And this is a Friend

[bainsidhe]

As someone else mentioned, at least you learned this lesson with only an investment of your time. It really sucks, but it'll be worth it in the long run because now you'll tell her NO next time she needs help. It also means you'll be a little more cautious when offering your help to others in the future. While sad, you'll be fully aware of the consequences before having the same thing happen again.

And hope you're feeling better, btw.

[Balgram]

She definitely forgets that her problems are not my problem. She has been sober 1-1/2 months...tends to get selfish. I just pray for her. But I will definitely have second thoughts about helping her with her pc going forward.
I had hoped that she would understand about me being ill. I guess not.

Friends is Friends...Business is Business...They are like oil and water and should not be mixed.

She obviously wasn't a real friend, she was using you. When I went back to college and needed to earn some extra $$, I took a number of computer jobs on the side. I had a number of those types of friends, but when I started charging a minimum rate (essentially covering my gas and a token for my time) it was amazing how many real friends I had.

I dunno, man. I suspect she was probably under the impression she was a customer, and was mad when you couldn't help her. She was then unimpressed that you asked for payment after refusing help.

But keep in mind that despite her impressions, what you did was right. You needed payment, and you don't have to work in a hospital. She was penny-pinching, and being selfish and rude.

I've had friends screw me over quite royally sometimes. They don't always understand that they are actually hurting me financially, or that I really did need them to keep a certain agreement or meet me at a certain time. It doesn't make them a bad friend, and we've all had good friends pull stunts on us (those of you who disagree, think harder. You've never had a friend forget their wallet accidentally, or not show up to a party, or get sick and not tell you?).

Don't necessarily lose her as a friend, even if she's being selfish right now. If she doesn't improve or you don't want to save the friendship, yeah, go ahead and grab some new friends, but her rude and mean behavior once may not be worth losing a life-long friend who was having a bad day/week. Especially if she doesn't get what a deal she was getting, or how much trouble you were in. I can't offer any other real advice, I don't know how close you two are.

DO lose her as a customer. Do not help her with her computer again, and if she wants to know why feel free to explain. If you want to stay the bigger man, make sure you don't whine, just point out that you had helped her before under the condition that she pay you, and she refused to pay. You aren't mad, and while the money would've been nice (and helped immensely), it's not worth fighting over. You just don't feel the need to help her with her computer in future.

Forgive and forget. I'm sorry she put you in such a bad financial situation, but if you want to stay friends, you cannot have a grudge over this. It just doesn't work, trust me.

If you don't want her for a friend (and if she's done this more than once, you probably should consider dropping ties), feel free to burn your bridges and either a) cut all ties, or b) explain exactly why she's being a selfish brat, and how her rude behavior has screwed you.

EDIT: I also agree with bainsidhe. Be careful who you choose as a customer in future, and hope you stay healthy. Health is good.

[Velfarre2001]

Forgive and forget. I'm sorry she put you in such a bad financial situation, but if you want to stay friends, you cannot have a grudge over this. It just doesn't work, trust me.

I disagree. You are in the hospital and her first thought is WHYTHEFUCKAREYOUINCONVENIENCINGME!!!1111ELEVENTY11 !!!

THAT is NOT what a friend does, let alone break a promise and stiff you when you are in need. I would kick her to the curb so hard she loses some skin in the process.

[hobbitt97]

more

I just posted this as an example of another sucky customer. I am not losing sleep over this. I believe in forgive and forget. I have stopped asked her for rides to AA meetings. I am waiting for her to pay me and will be surprised if and when she does (it's only money). The thing that I find extremely selfish is her not asking me how I felt when I was speaking to her on the phone.

Time will tell on how I react to her going forward. It was sick behavoir on her part and I pray for her.