DEATH TO HOT WHEELS GEEKS!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Note--to any Hot Wheels collectors that may be here, sorry for what I'm about to say, but I gotta say it, dammit.

I am fed up with our local Hot Wheels geeks. They treat our toy department like their own private playground. Or something.

The one I see the most often is this older guy, probably retired if he can be in the store shortly after it opens Every. Single. Fuck. Ing. DAY. Always heads straight for the Hot Wheels.

God help you if you're stocking toys off a truck, which most trucks I am. He'll get right up behind you, in that old stinky jacket of his that has to have been marinating in cigarette smoke and old-man smell for years. He's got no concept of personal space, so as an added bonus you get his stanky, coffee and cigarette breath on your neck as well.

Today, I noticed that a box of hot wheels cars came in so I concealed it in the pallets behind some other boxes. Then it got filled and put on the backstock cart before he came in, so I concealed some more. I had stuff on top of the box and all the other sides of it. Ha ha, let's see the old man try to get his fix now.

Right on cue, Hot Wheels Guy came down the aisle, I went to fill some more toys and WAIT A SECOND IS HE DIGGING THROUGH MY CART OF BACKSTOCK?! FUCKING WEAK.

Then he went digging through the box of Hot Wheels with those grubby paws of his, excitedly exclaiming how Wally World hadn't gotten in any new shipments of Hot Wheels in months, and then finally he found the one car he wanted and happily gallivanted off.

WITHOUT PUTTING THE REST OF THE HOT WHEELS CARS BACK INTO THE BOX. CURSES. FOILED BY SOME DIRTY, NO-LIFE HAVING, PERSONAL SPACE INVADING CHILDRENS' TOY CAR DORK.

At least he's generally pleasant to deal with. The other hot wheels guy we know of is a complete prick. He won't ask you to bring down boxes of hot wheels as much as tell you to. Management has told us not to do this. Yet he'll try to convince you that the managers said it's okay for the hot wheels boxes to be brought down so he can have his own little treasure hunt. Sadly he's suckered newbies into doing it.

And if you tell him we don't have hot wheels in backstock, which is usually a lie but we're not going to cater to his whims, he hollers "I don't believe you! I know you have hot wheels back there!"

Get the two of them together and they'll go racing down the aisles to toys and squabble over the more choice cars.

So, to the both of you hot wheels imbeciles:

I hope you're walking along at home, and your foot comes down on one of your little cars on the floor, and you go skating around waving your arms and going "Whoa-o-o-o-o-oa-oaaaaaa!" while flailing your arms in a comical manner, and you fall down the stairs, and continue to tumble down stairs and crash through walls like Oscar The Grouch in that one Sesame Street Christmas special, and when you land you land right on a piece of plastic racing track for your precious little metal cars, and it stabs you right through the heart and turns you and your Hot Wheels cars into a big bloody mess and you go to Hell. You go to Hell and you die.

pant pant pant...wheeze wheeze wheeze

[Wade]

Sad thing is, Hot Wheels are like Star Wars toys. The first generation line is the only one worth anything. The new stuff will NEVER appreciate, 'cause there's plenty of first-gen stuff out there by comparison. So, basically, instead of spending their money on something productive like losing their virginity, they're wasting it hording something that won't even return pennies on their dollar.

Pathetic.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Specifically, the cars he was looking for are called "treasure hunt" or something and there's only one of these cars per case of 72.

Which probably makes it worth, say.....a nickel more than a regular hot wheels car on the ebay or resale market.

[calulu]

Ha! Reminds me of the guy that founded WalMartsucks.com He was a Hot Wheels/Star Wars toy collector that finally made enough of a daily twatwaffle of himself to get banned from Wal Mart.. some folks.

[saranykm]

the treasure hunt cars are worth good money in little time. i have one with a value of $50.00, but its also 10 years old.
that still isnt a reason to be a douche about leaving your area a mess, if that was me i would ask first, the do my search (plus make sure i smell good), then put them back...

[cactus]

People collect these things? Wow. Here in Norway we sell them to little kids and their grandmothers But seriously: Groping through your backstock cart?!

[RootedPhoenix]

We had limits set for Hot Wheels cars at the last place I worked just because of people like that.

[Aislin]

I worked in a Wally World once. The store manager had a great solution. We cut the corner on each package, not enough to ruin it, just enough to ruin the it as a collectable. 5 separate associates were assaulted over hot wheels so he figured since he liked his workers he would not let the customers make matters worse. Sure people complained but for that particular store, the customer did not get to be right.

[Becks]

Aislin, that manager of yours had a great idea!!

[TWOLF]

yeah I have heard about the treasure ones from a toy collector who goes through the local target. He told me if I ever saw one to buy it and hang on to it because it would be worth money or sell it to him. Ok so I spend a buck for something you can get more on? how nice. I also stopped going to local stores in the mornings because I got sick of hearing the collectors bitch about why they can't find stuff or fighing over toys.

[Mike Taylor]

Ooh... ANY customer that goes through a merchandising cart pisses me off.

When I worked at FAO, I had to keep a close eye on my carts because people would start going through them. This was especially dangerous because the carts we used were collapsible and HEAVY. On one or two occasions I've had to pointedly tell customers to wait until I was finished stocking.

[protege]

Ugh. Collectors like that piss me off. I like my Hot Wheels (and Matchbox) as much as the next guy...but give me a break. Those cars will *never* be worth what some of those fools claim. There's no way he could collect *all* of them, it simply won't happen. Too many variations, too many colors, etc. Then you have the Matchbox "1-75" line. Originally, when new releases came out, others were discontinued, but always keeping numbers between 1 and 75. Not sure if they still do that.

I still have most of mine...plus several others that I've added over the years. Only the newest releases are mint. Usually, I can find good 1970s and '60s items in the "junk boxes" at hobby shops. That's how I found my VW 1600TL and MG 1100. Nobody wanted them, since the MG's paint was scratched, and the TL was dirty. Once thoroughly cleaned it *was* mint. Odd that nobody wanted it...since both are supposedly "rare"

I think that a little "wear" adds character. Sense of history, in other words.

[Bosch]

I worked in a Wally World once. The store manager had a great solution. We cut the corner on each package, not enough to ruin it, just enough to ruin the it as a collectable. 5 separate associates were assaulted over hot wheels so he figured since he liked his workers he would not let the customers make matters worse. Sure people complained but for that particular store, the customer did not get to be right.

Don't tell hot wheels abou that, they will do something about it.. They get snippy when you ruin a collectable. Just sayin'.. But I understand they assault your employees get, I take the turn if its not there its not there.. Let the guys stock the damn hot wheel cars..

[jerkface11]

I'm not a very good collector. I have to play with the stuff I buy.

[Drakstern]

I'm not a very good collector. I have to play with the stuff I buy.

Ditto.

All of my action figures get immediately pulled out of the box and posed/played with. I got two Figmas in the mail recently and the first thing I did was try to pose them the way they were on the box. Astonishingly enough, I actually got them to.

Now I have an epic battle with Nanoha and Fate fighting Diablo and Kain(though I lost his Soul Reaver... so he's using the bloody huge katana that came with my Eva-02) going on on my desk.

Totally worth it.