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STORY 1: UP TO NO GOOD(from Current job)(NSFW)
Quick background: I work in a 3-building complex. The company Im contracted to owns all of 2 buildings and part of a third. Usually the building we don't owned is patrolled by a Mobile Patrol unit from the Security firm I work for...and remember kids: Everyone is a customer.
So it's creeping up on 11:50 PM as I cruise towards work to report in by 12 AM. As I get into the right hand turn lane to turn into the driveway, I see parked perpindicular to me is a white large SUV and a older model sedan parked close to it. This is away from any other car and is more towards the building we do not own. As soon as I see them, my Skippy Sense goes off. LIKE CRAZY.
I make the turn right and by now Im watching this car. In the white SUV I see a figure riding shotgun moving around: a topless woman!!
So I punch it in my 2007 CIVIC. Here I am, a new Agent to this Contract and I am about to cut my wings! HELL YEAH!! So I park, run inside and tell: My Shift Leader, the Shift Leader of Swing Shift, and his partner.
AS: Agent Skippy
SB: Skippy's Boss
SS: Swing shift Supervisor
SA: Swing Agent
AS: *really excited* Ok I was cruising into work and I spot this white SUV and theres movement inside and it looked like a topless woman and my Spidey Senseis going off and dude we should check it out.
SB:
SS:
SA:
"Say wha??"
So I tell them what I saw and the two swing guys say they'll go check it out on their way to go home and I tell them Im tagging along.
So I take them to where it is and the cars are STILL there.
SA takes passenger side, SS covers driver side and I tag behind the SS.
The driver, a hispanic male(Note: Im not racist, my GF is latin) rolls down the window. Instantly the smell of Marijuana hits us like a brick wall and smoke comes out. The guy is all stoned and smiley, a latin woman in a black top sitting next to him.
SS: "Hey! How's it going?"
Stoned Guy: "Heeyyyyy"
SS: "Are any of you guys (company) employees?"
Stoned guy: "Nawww maaaaaan"
SS: "This is private property Im going to have to ask you to leave."
Stoned guy: "Awwwww ok maaaaaaan"
and off they go.
The Agents and my boss decide not to call the cops since they were so cool about it.
Damn.
Better luck next time.
-.-
Oh and for those wondering: no, the girl was NOT HOT.
STORY 2: JUST SMILE AND NOD(Current job)
So its 7:50 AM. I get off in 10 minutes, and Im stuck in one of the two lobbys pulling reception duties.
I haven't had caffiene since 4 AM and Im a zombie and I just want to go home.
Black guy in a suit walks in and, supposedly he turned to show me his badge clipped to belt but I was too zonked out to notice.
I catch this, and I call out.
SG: Suited guy
AS: Agent Skippy
AS: Sir, can I see your badge real quick?
SG turns to show me his badge and, in a foreign accent starts rambling on something about how he turned to show but I didn't see it and blah blah blah. I honestly couldn't understand anything he said, nor did I care.
I just smiled and nodded.
Then off he went.
Finally my relief came and I was out of there...
---
AND FINALLY....a story from the Contract I just left.
STORY 3: DO NOT PISS OFF MY CO WORKER(EPICLY LONG)
Ok, background. After my firm lost the Receptionist end of all operations, they reassigned me to crosstrain in the Badging/Access Office.
Now, in badging, access, we made and programmed the access cards and handled the keys and access records of: Employees, Contractors/vendors(those with us for a max of 3 months unless renewed).
Even for contractors, the process to get cleared to obtain a badge is long. It's a process that goes usually from the requesting manager, to HR, to HR Contractor-Vendor control, to HR Systems and then finally to us. It can take days, and alot of times 2 weeks or more. Unless someone in HR does their part, we cannot do ours. This is important. Also, it is POLICY that when you request a badge you bring two things: Your confirmation paper with your Employee ID and your Photo ID.
So, the new partner I am assigned is named, we'll call him Rico. Rico is 30 years old, from El Salvador, speaks with a accent and basicly looks like a pissed off Indian.
But Rico is also in the Army Reserve as a STAFF SERGEANT and just got back from his 2nd Tour of Iraq with the Big Red 1(he was active full first tour) on the front combat lines. He has the infamous "thousand yard stare"(the stare of those who have taken human life) and normally is a nice guy til you "Activate him".
When he gets "activated" he goes into "Combat mode", especially when mad or provoked and, I'll make this clear: he can scare the SHIT out even the baddest of people.
So enter, John Smith. No joke, his last name was Smith and he had a fairly common first name(Not john but close). He is a contractor from IT Department who is going to be with us for a certain amount of time and needs a joke.
He comes in, he's not in our system yet. We explain the process and we have him sign in as a visitor and escorted by his manager. No big deal.
Few days later he checks back: Same deal. No big fuss. Off he goes.
Following Monday: he checks in. Still not in our system. He has no confirmation paper, does not know his ID#. He asks me to run it by name with me sitting closest to him behind the service part of the desk and Rico sitting perpindicular to me off to my rear. Sort of like a backwards 7 with me at the top.
AS: Agent Skippy
Rico: Rico
CG: Contractor Guy
CGM: Contractor Guy's Manager
AS: Sir, I just checked the system. There are over 20 people with a similar(the same) name as yours and I have no idea which one is yours without a ID# and I can't give you a badge til you do.
CG: *Goes 180 and gets super mad* THIS IS ABSURD! I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A BADGE FOR OVER A WEEK NOW AND YOU GUYS WONT GIVE IT TO ME! I COME DOWN HERE AND WASTE GAS WHEN I GET TURNED AWAY AND CANT WORK! IM REPORTING YOU TO MY MANAGER.
Rico: *gets pushed but not activated yet* "Sir, we understand, but we explained the process. If you are going to get your manager, please do because I want to speak to him..."
CG then storms off and returns with his Manager that he's contracted to. The CG's Manager is a BIG samurai-looking Bear-like Japanese guy in his 40s(but is way cool). He's very intimidating looking.
CG: These are the guys I was telling you about! They won't clear me to get a badge! I waste money when I come down here and can't work because I waste gas! And you know what!? (he then turns to Rico and points at Rico. I know whats about to happen and move out of the way) ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! (he yells pointing his right index at Rico).
This, was a very very very bad idea.
Rico:
INSTANTLY like a ROCKET without missing a beat Rico gets out of his chair, walks swiftly AROUND my desk right on the guy's blind spot and stops dead right in the guy's face.
Rico: *thousand yard stare locked in the guys arm, very low tone of voice yet very direct* Sir, we have been trying to help you and have explained the process to you again and again yet you do not have a employee ID # or confirmation paper. This is a process. How DARE you come here and accuse us. You want to work here? Follow the rules. Sign in as a visitor, get escorted, talk to your manager, and when you have the confirmation, come back to us. Til then, do not EVER accuse us or yell at us. In fact, I want you out of my office til then...NOW."
AS: :
CG: *looks very scared*
Now, when Rico does this, even the Manager guy gets scared and is quick to try and defuse Rico and the Customer guy.
CGM: "Its ok its ok. Look, we'll sign you as a visitor and you can go ahead and do your service and I'll escort you its all ok no need to scream (turns to Rico) and I'll talk to HR and get him his Confirmation"
After they left....
AS: Holy S&it Dude, I thought you were going to kill that guy! Holy crap, dude, the look on his face was priceless! Dude, even I got scared!! Dude, that was awesome!!
Rico: I will not tolerate people yelling at me and accusing me or my fellow soldiers...(he said as he turned to look at me).
Contractor Guy = Owned by One pissed off Combat Vet.
THANK YOU RICO FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY AND BE SAFE ON YOUR NEXT TOUR
Quick background: I work in a 3-building complex. The company Im contracted to owns all of 2 buildings and part of a third. Usually the building we don't owned is patrolled by a Mobile Patrol unit from the Security firm I work for...and remember kids: Everyone is a customer.
So it's creeping up on 11:50 PM as I cruise towards work to report in by 12 AM. As I get into the right hand turn lane to turn into the driveway, I see parked perpindicular to me is a white large SUV and a older model sedan parked close to it. This is away from any other car and is more towards the building we do not own. As soon as I see them, my Skippy Sense goes off. LIKE CRAZY.
I make the turn right and by now Im watching this car. In the white SUV I see a figure riding shotgun moving around: a topless woman!!
So I punch it in my 2007 CIVIC. Here I am, a new Agent to this Contract and I am about to cut my wings! HELL YEAH!! So I park, run inside and tell: My Shift Leader, the Shift Leader of Swing Shift, and his partner.
AS: Agent Skippy
SB: Skippy's Boss
SS: Swing shift Supervisor
SA: Swing Agent
AS: *really excited* Ok I was cruising into work and I spot this white SUV and theres movement inside and it looked like a topless woman and my Spidey Senseis going off and dude we should check it out.
SB:
SS:
SA:
"Say wha??"So I tell them what I saw and the two swing guys say they'll go check it out on their way to go home and I tell them Im tagging along.
So I take them to where it is and the cars are STILL there.
SA takes passenger side, SS covers driver side and I tag behind the SS.
The driver, a hispanic male(Note: Im not racist, my GF is latin) rolls down the window. Instantly the smell of Marijuana hits us like a brick wall and smoke comes out. The guy is all stoned and smiley, a latin woman in a black top sitting next to him.
SS: "Hey! How's it going?"
Stoned Guy: "Heeyyyyy"
SS: "Are any of you guys (company) employees?"
Stoned guy: "Nawww maaaaaan"
SS: "This is private property Im going to have to ask you to leave."
Stoned guy: "Awwwww ok maaaaaaan"
and off they go.
The Agents and my boss decide not to call the cops since they were so cool about it.
Damn.
Better luck next time.
-.-
Oh and for those wondering: no, the girl was NOT HOT.
STORY 2: JUST SMILE AND NOD(Current job)
So its 7:50 AM. I get off in 10 minutes, and Im stuck in one of the two lobbys pulling reception duties.
I haven't had caffiene since 4 AM and Im a zombie and I just want to go home.
Black guy in a suit walks in and, supposedly he turned to show me his badge clipped to belt but I was too zonked out to notice.
I catch this, and I call out.
SG: Suited guy
AS: Agent Skippy
AS: Sir, can I see your badge real quick?
SG turns to show me his badge and, in a foreign accent starts rambling on something about how he turned to show but I didn't see it and blah blah blah. I honestly couldn't understand anything he said, nor did I care.
I just smiled and nodded.
Then off he went.
Finally my relief came and I was out of there...
---
AND FINALLY....a story from the Contract I just left.
STORY 3: DO NOT PISS OFF MY CO WORKER(EPICLY LONG)
Ok, background. After my firm lost the Receptionist end of all operations, they reassigned me to crosstrain in the Badging/Access Office.
Now, in badging, access, we made and programmed the access cards and handled the keys and access records of: Employees, Contractors/vendors(those with us for a max of 3 months unless renewed).
Even for contractors, the process to get cleared to obtain a badge is long. It's a process that goes usually from the requesting manager, to HR, to HR Contractor-Vendor control, to HR Systems and then finally to us. It can take days, and alot of times 2 weeks or more. Unless someone in HR does their part, we cannot do ours. This is important. Also, it is POLICY that when you request a badge you bring two things: Your confirmation paper with your Employee ID and your Photo ID.
So, the new partner I am assigned is named, we'll call him Rico. Rico is 30 years old, from El Salvador, speaks with a accent and basicly looks like a pissed off Indian.
But Rico is also in the Army Reserve as a STAFF SERGEANT and just got back from his 2nd Tour of Iraq with the Big Red 1(he was active full first tour) on the front combat lines. He has the infamous "thousand yard stare"(the stare of those who have taken human life) and normally is a nice guy til you "Activate him".
When he gets "activated" he goes into "Combat mode", especially when mad or provoked and, I'll make this clear: he can scare the SHIT out even the baddest of people.
So enter, John Smith. No joke, his last name was Smith and he had a fairly common first name(Not john but close). He is a contractor from IT Department who is going to be with us for a certain amount of time and needs a joke.
He comes in, he's not in our system yet. We explain the process and we have him sign in as a visitor and escorted by his manager. No big deal.
Few days later he checks back: Same deal. No big fuss. Off he goes.
Following Monday: he checks in. Still not in our system. He has no confirmation paper, does not know his ID#. He asks me to run it by name with me sitting closest to him behind the service part of the desk and Rico sitting perpindicular to me off to my rear. Sort of like a backwards 7 with me at the top.
AS: Agent Skippy
Rico: Rico
CG: Contractor Guy
CGM: Contractor Guy's Manager
AS: Sir, I just checked the system. There are over 20 people with a similar(the same) name as yours and I have no idea which one is yours without a ID# and I can't give you a badge til you do.
CG: *Goes 180 and gets super mad* THIS IS ABSURD! I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A BADGE FOR OVER A WEEK NOW AND YOU GUYS WONT GIVE IT TO ME! I COME DOWN HERE AND WASTE GAS WHEN I GET TURNED AWAY AND CANT WORK! IM REPORTING YOU TO MY MANAGER.
Rico: *gets pushed but not activated yet* "Sir, we understand, but we explained the process. If you are going to get your manager, please do because I want to speak to him..."
CG then storms off and returns with his Manager that he's contracted to. The CG's Manager is a BIG samurai-looking Bear-like Japanese guy in his 40s(but is way cool). He's very intimidating looking.
CG: These are the guys I was telling you about! They won't clear me to get a badge! I waste money when I come down here and can't work because I waste gas! And you know what!? (he then turns to Rico and points at Rico. I know whats about to happen and move out of the way) ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! (he yells pointing his right index at Rico).
This, was a very very very bad idea.
Rico:
INSTANTLY like a ROCKET without missing a beat Rico gets out of his chair, walks swiftly AROUND my desk right on the guy's blind spot and stops dead right in the guy's face.
Rico: *thousand yard stare locked in the guys arm, very low tone of voice yet very direct* Sir, we have been trying to help you and have explained the process to you again and again yet you do not have a employee ID # or confirmation paper. This is a process. How DARE you come here and accuse us. You want to work here? Follow the rules. Sign in as a visitor, get escorted, talk to your manager, and when you have the confirmation, come back to us. Til then, do not EVER accuse us or yell at us. In fact, I want you out of my office til then...NOW."
AS: :
CG:
*looks very scared*Now, when Rico does this, even the Manager guy gets scared and is quick to try and defuse Rico and the Customer guy.
CGM: "Its ok its ok. Look, we'll sign you as a visitor and you can go ahead and do your service and I'll escort you its all ok no need to scream (turns to Rico) and I'll talk to HR and get him his Confirmation"
After they left....
AS: Holy S&it Dude, I thought you were going to kill that guy! Holy crap, dude, the look on his face was priceless! Dude, even I got scared!! Dude, that was awesome!!
Rico: I will not tolerate people yelling at me and accusing me or my fellow soldiers...(he said as he turned to look at me).
Contractor Guy = Owned by One pissed off Combat Vet.
THANK YOU RICO FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY AND BE SAFE ON YOUR NEXT TOUR
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