Tweet
So yesterday was my birthday. Yes I know, 1st April is a HILARIOUS day to be born. Ho freaking ho. Generally I don’t have to put up with much more than the ‘you were born on April Fools Day? That explains so much!!!’ Oh the wit. I nearly ruptured my pancreas. Seriously, you should be on the stage.
Anyhoo, I ran the gauntlet of the best jokes my co-workers could muster, smiled till my face hurt, and hid behind my computer. Then my phone rang. Perhaps my reaction to this call was a tad oversensitive, but there’s only so many fake flies in ice cubes, re-lighting candles and oft-repeated ‘fool’ comments a girl can take…
A: Author. The greatest comedian since Belushi. I count him as a sucky customer because he hassles me, demands the impossible, thinks he is always right, and smells like old cheese.
Me: The unwilling Birthday Girl.
Me: Hello, OddlyGeekyHistoryBookCompany, BookBint speaking.
A: Oh hello Princess, it’s <least favourite author ever. The Mayor of Moronville>
Me: Oh hello <Mayor of Moronville> how can I help.
A: *goes into spiel about how he would like his book printed NOW, on silk sheets, hand written by blind Tibetan monks with laryngitis, and to be smothered in honey by Kirsten Dunst*
Me: Sure, sure. I’ll go buy the honey right now and ring the Dali Lama...
Suddenly I am descended upon by a gaggle of women bearing a cake and singing Happy Birthday in excitingly contrasting keys. I fend them off with a stick (actually I eye the cake with lust) and return to the call.
Me: I do apologise, what was I saying?
A: Is it your BIRTHDAY??????
Me: Yes. (Wow, super sleuth. All you need is a deerstalker hat and a cocaine addiction and you’re Sherlock freaking Holmes.)
A: But… it’s April Fool’s Day! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! YOU’RE A FOOL!
Me: Um, yes. About your book…
A: Were you born before noon?
Me: Yeeeees.
A: Then you really are a FOOL! You’re only a fool if you’re born before noon!
Me: That’s what they tell me.
A: Perhaps I should speak to <your boss>, I don’t want a fool working on my book! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: Well <boss> is not in the office today *I refuse to play this game with a man who thinks calling me ‘Princess’ is acceptable*
A: Well I’ll call him later. Just don’t do anything FOOLISH with my book! Wouldn’t want you to get overexcited on your birthday and do something FOOLISH! HAHAHAHA!
Me: Bye bye *die soon*
Anyhoo, I ran the gauntlet of the best jokes my co-workers could muster, smiled till my face hurt, and hid behind my computer. Then my phone rang. Perhaps my reaction to this call was a tad oversensitive, but there’s only so many fake flies in ice cubes, re-lighting candles and oft-repeated ‘fool’ comments a girl can take…
A: Author. The greatest comedian since Belushi. I count him as a sucky customer because he hassles me, demands the impossible, thinks he is always right, and smells like old cheese.
Me: The unwilling Birthday Girl.
Me: Hello, OddlyGeekyHistoryBookCompany, BookBint speaking.
A: Oh hello Princess, it’s <least favourite author ever. The Mayor of Moronville>
Me: Oh hello <Mayor of Moronville> how can I help.
A: *goes into spiel about how he would like his book printed NOW, on silk sheets, hand written by blind Tibetan monks with laryngitis, and to be smothered in honey by Kirsten Dunst*
Me: Sure, sure. I’ll go buy the honey right now and ring the Dali Lama...
Suddenly I am descended upon by a gaggle of women bearing a cake and singing Happy Birthday in excitingly contrasting keys. I fend them off with a stick (actually I eye the cake with lust) and return to the call.
Me: I do apologise, what was I saying?
A: Is it your BIRTHDAY??????
Me: Yes. (Wow, super sleuth. All you need is a deerstalker hat and a cocaine addiction and you’re Sherlock freaking Holmes.)
A: But… it’s April Fool’s Day! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! YOU’RE A FOOL!
Me: Um, yes. About your book…
A: Were you born before noon?
Me: Yeeeees.
A: Then you really are a FOOL! You’re only a fool if you’re born before noon!
Me: That’s what they tell me.
A: Perhaps I should speak to <your boss>, I don’t want a fool working on my book! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: Well <boss> is not in the office today *I refuse to play this game with a man who thinks calling me ‘Princess’ is acceptable*
A: Well I’ll call him later. Just don’t do anything FOOLISH with my book! Wouldn’t want you to get overexcited on your birthday and do something FOOLISH! HAHAHAHA!
Me: Bye bye *die soon*
Here's some cake and drinks. 
Comment