Four days of cockbaggery

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

and I have two more two go before I get a day off.

Whyisit?

Whyisit that when I'm doing carryouts, the small bookcase goes to the person in the Suburban and the big box of six patio chairs goes to the person in the Buick Lucerne?

And they have me haul the chairs out of the box and try to squeeze them in the back seat?

Why? Why? WHY?

Dear All Of My Customers:

Whenever we're running a big sale like the one we're currently running, here's a tip: Shop early for best selection. Because otherwise you may end up acting like this and making poor Irv homicidal:

SC: Excuse me, do you have any more Scrubbing Bubbles wipes in the backroom?
Me: (scans shelf, finds no more Scrubbing Bubbles wipes are in stock) I'm sorry, we are all out of those at the moment.
SC: (gusty sigh). Fine. Thanks for wasting my time.

It has been crazy busy the past three days. We are wiped on just about everything. We won't have anything restocked until Tuesday morning. So I'm expecting assbaggery to continue through Monday at least.

"That's just stupid!"

So there's this guy, who has a raincheck on one of our sofas, and he calls the story EVERY SINGLE DAY to see if we have it, and I got the misfortune of talking to him today.

When I told him we didn't have his sofa yet, he asked "Why not? You've got it advertised like you do have it!"

Ummm, maybe because those ads are put out months in advance and the manufacturer hasn't been able to keep up with the demand?

Then he asked me what he'd end up paying for the sofa. I told him whatever it was when he filled out the raincheck. "But that's just stupid! You have it advertised cheaper now! I don't want it then! I'll just go back to the store and have them fill out a different raincheck for the cheaper price!"

I went up to the service desk to warn them this asshat would be coming in for a second raincheck on his sofa, and in one of those nice gestures that will surely be lost on the asshat, she changed the price so he'd pay the cheaper price when it does come in.

And the cherry on the turd sundae:

I locked my keys in my car today. They fell out of my pocket and onto the floor. I could see them through the window and all my doors were locked. So I had to walk home and call my dad to try and find a spare key, but he can't find it. So now I have to wait for my mom to get home from work and see if she knows where the spare key is. Otherwise I'll have to call the cops or a locksmith to have my car opened up, and pay whatever they tell to pay.

Actually, this isn't the end. I've got too much on my mind to finish right away. I'll post the rest later.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And I'm back. We found the spare key and I drove the Freleighmobile home.

What part of "Employees Only" don't you understand?

Had a couple interested in a patio set (table and 4 chairs) we had advertised for $188. At first they couldn't seem to locate the chairs that went with the table despite sitting in them , so I helped them locate the chairs (under their own butts) and went off to do other things in the backroom when they told me there were okay.

I then go down the backroom aisle with a cart of autopull and run into--the husband who had asked me about the patio set. He couldn't seem to understand why I was so adamant about chasing him out of the backroom.

His question? He and his wife whipped out a calculator and added up the sale prices of the table and 4 chairs, as listed on the sale sign, and came up with a total about $30 more than $188, and why did that happen? I told them the register would take off the difference at the end once it recognized that all 5 pieces of the set had been rung up. They didn't believe me, so I called the service desk, who (Prepare to be shocked!) told me the same thing. They would end up paying $188 for the set; the difference would come off once the table and all the 4 chairs were rung up.

They still didn't believe me and left without purchasing anything.

The SCs have won.

At the podium in front of the registers, which contains the schedule I check daily to see who's on carryouts and when they come in, there was this note from the front end manager: (Paraphrased from memory as best as I can, and my translations in parentheses

We have recently received two complaint letters about the service desk from customers. They didn't object to any policies, but rather how their issues were handled. (They were told "no firmly and repeatedly and didn't like that.)

Starting immediately, we will begin treating customers with respect and sympathy. (We're totally going to fold like Superman on laundry day whenever a customer becomes moderately difficult to deal with.) Arguing with customers will not be tolerated. (That means cave in when the customer begins to show agitation.) We understand that you are just following policy, but it is your job to deal with these people. (As of now, your job description is "Take as much abuse as the customer feels like dishing out to you, and tell them 'Thank you Sir,Ma'am, may I please have another?'")

If you feel you cannot handle this part of your job and would like to be transferred to the registers, please let me know. (If you are attached to your dignity, it would behoove you to demote yourself to tillmonkey for fewer hours and less pay before you blow up and we reflexively shit-can you.)

And then some other stuff about a binder at the desk that will contain memos and information pertinent to the front end that the service desk people need to read daily.

I guess it's official then. We're going to be kissing SC ass for the time being. Send the economy into the crapper and the SCs think they pwn you--and management proves them right.

[Drakstern]

The SCs have won.

Words cannot express how stupid that policy is.

It goes into some new, uncharted land of idiocy, beyond the horizons that we have explored.

[South Texan]

"We understand that you are just following policy, but it is your job to deal with these people. "

I guess it's official then. We're going to be kissing SC ass for the time being. Send the economy into the crapper and the SCs think they pwn you--and management proves them right.

Time for a little passive aggressive therapy!

Follow what you think that sentence means TO THE LETTER. Give the customer ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING the customer wants. What do you care? You will be paid no matter what, so if the company wants to ignore all its policies and send its profits into the toilet, LET IT DO SO. Your life will be so much easier as every customer will be smiling and happy with you all day long. If management ever asks why you did anything, whip out the memo (get several copies) and say you were trying to give GREAT customer service like they wanted. Then smile and ask what else you can do to make the customer even happier.

I have done this to a boss. It feels SO good.

[SG15Z]

What part of "Employees Only" don't you understand?

The E's.

The SCs have won.

Damn, if that happened I would be the first to refuse to work in Customer Service. Sorry but I likes my dignity.

But if they still want to put me in there then fine, I'll be giving away a lot of money. I'll be refunding whatever they bring, no reciept required. Whatever they say it costs I will refund. I won't question anything. Then I'll watch y'all when your profits drop.

And if they ask "why did you do this!?" I'll hand them the memo. Because you said too!

[PepperElf]

And the cherry on the turd sundae:

I've done that a number of times on my old car. I became quite good at breaking in with a coat hanger... Pry the door back a little (no alarm anyway), fish hook the hanger in, and loop it around the door handle and pull... the car would open from the inside even if the door was locked.

current car not so easy, would require locksmith

[Gabrielle Proctor]

Pry the door back a little (no alarm anyway), fish hook the hanger in, and loop it around the door handle and pull... the car would open from the inside even if the door was locked.

Mine has a trick door. You have to bump it in a certain spot while you pull on the handle.

[friendofjimmyk]

Otherwise I'll have to call the cops or a locksmith to have my car opened up, and pay whatever they tell to pay.
.

OR....You can get a membership with my company (which runs like $50 bucks for the year - you get 4 service calls) and then you may end up talking to me! Cause we service the cheese state.