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Ok... I get prank calls... but seriously, some things are just... well, not even funny.
Me- Thank you for calling (hotel) at the Salt Lake Airport, this is Smiley speaking, how may I help you?
SC- yeah, can you put Mohammad on the phone?
(as a side note, we do have a Mohammad in house tonight, so I thought this call might be legit).
Me- I'm sorry, what was the guest's last name?
SC- just put Mohammad on the phone.
Me- I'm sorry, without the guest's last name or room number I can't connect you (bullshit, but, hey, I don't want to wake up a guest for someone who doesn't even know their last name or room number)
SC- this is bullshit, this is Allah and I demand to speak to Mohammad.
Me- I'm sorry?
SC- you heard me, I am Allah... I need to speak to my servant Mohammad, get him on the phone this instant.
Me- I'm sorry, did you say you were...
SC- yes, Allah. And Allah wills it that you find Mohammad this instant!
(ok, we've just crossed the line from juvenile prank call, to holy shit this guy is batshit crazy)
Me- If you are Allah, shouldn't you know which room Mohammad is in?
SC- how dare you question Allah...
(might as well have fun with this
)
Me- I'm sorry Mr. Allah, but I can't connect to a guest's room without either their last name or the room number.
SC-well, Allah wills it that you should find a way.
Me- oh, well, while you are willing things... think you could will it that I finish my final projects on time and that I find a boyfriend pretty soon... because those projects are really stressing me out and I'm tired of being single.
SC- how dare you ask of Allah... wait... what... did you say boyfriend... umm... *click*
Smiley-1
nutjob- 0
and the shuttle rant.
Ok, so there is a lot of construction near the hotel... thank you Front Lines 2015
(I will be happy when the 3 new TRAX lines, 1 TRAX extension, and 1 Frontrunner extension open, but the construction is going to be a bitch). Needless to say it is causing traffic delays up the wazoo. Pretty much every hotel out here is having to adjust their schedule... we are no different. Starting Monday we went from ever half hour starting at 5:00am, to having one at 5, one at 5:30, one at 6, then every 45 minutes until 10:30 when it starts going every half hour again. This insures that there is enough time during the heavy traffic of rush hour for the shuttles to still keep their schedule. Yeah, it sucks that we can't run every half hour, but what can we do...
Oh, enter the bitchfest now... every morning this week there have been people coming down at 6:30 upset that there isn't a shuttle til 6:45, and people coming down at 7 upset that the last one left 15 minutes ago and it won't be until 7:30 for the next shuttle, etc throughout the morning... and we still don't have people who understand the concept of reserving space on the shuttle. There is only one contract where guests can get away with walking up to the desk and being guaranteed transportation without prior reservation... and that's Greyhound's on call drivers... everyone else, I'll very unsympathetically point to the sign saying "space is limited, reserve as far in advance as possible". Oh, and we do have signs everywhere informing guests of the new schedule... but we all know how effective those are
Me- Thank you for calling (hotel) at the Salt Lake Airport, this is Smiley speaking, how may I help you?
SC- yeah, can you put Mohammad on the phone?
(as a side note, we do have a Mohammad in house tonight, so I thought this call might be legit).
Me- I'm sorry, what was the guest's last name?
SC- just put Mohammad on the phone.
Me- I'm sorry, without the guest's last name or room number I can't connect you (bullshit, but, hey, I don't want to wake up a guest for someone who doesn't even know their last name or room number)
SC- this is bullshit, this is Allah and I demand to speak to Mohammad.
Me- I'm sorry?
SC- you heard me, I am Allah... I need to speak to my servant Mohammad, get him on the phone this instant.
Me- I'm sorry, did you say you were...
SC- yes, Allah. And Allah wills it that you find Mohammad this instant!
(ok, we've just crossed the line from juvenile prank call, to holy shit this guy is batshit crazy)
Me- If you are Allah, shouldn't you know which room Mohammad is in?
SC- how dare you question Allah...
(might as well have fun with this
)Me- I'm sorry Mr. Allah, but I can't connect to a guest's room without either their last name or the room number.
SC-well, Allah wills it that you should find a way.
Me- oh, well, while you are willing things... think you could will it that I finish my final projects on time and that I find a boyfriend pretty soon... because those projects are really stressing me out and I'm tired of being single.
SC- how dare you ask of Allah... wait... what... did you say boyfriend... umm... *click*
Smiley-1
nutjob- 0
and the shuttle rant.
Ok, so there is a lot of construction near the hotel... thank you Front Lines 2015
(I will be happy when the 3 new TRAX lines, 1 TRAX extension, and 1 Frontrunner extension open, but the construction is going to be a bitch). Needless to say it is causing traffic delays up the wazoo. Pretty much every hotel out here is having to adjust their schedule... we are no different. Starting Monday we went from ever half hour starting at 5:00am, to having one at 5, one at 5:30, one at 6, then every 45 minutes until 10:30 when it starts going every half hour again. This insures that there is enough time during the heavy traffic of rush hour for the shuttles to still keep their schedule. Yeah, it sucks that we can't run every half hour, but what can we do...Oh, enter the bitchfest now... every morning this week there have been people coming down at 6:30 upset that there isn't a shuttle til 6:45, and people coming down at 7 upset that the last one left 15 minutes ago and it won't be until 7:30 for the next shuttle, etc throughout the morning... and we still don't have people who understand the concept of reserving space on the shuttle. There is only one contract where guests can get away with walking up to the desk and being guaranteed transportation without prior reservation... and that's Greyhound's on call drivers... everyone else, I'll very unsympathetically point to the sign saying "space is limited, reserve as far in advance as possible". Oh, and we do have signs everywhere informing guests of the new schedule... but we all know how effective those are
Monitor cleaning on aisle 6! 
Handmade baked goods and alcohol-infused beverages of your choice. Because that, my dear, was genius. I only WISH I could think on my feet that brilliantly. 
rb
Here's some drinks on me. 
Nice pwnage! 
<crazier than me! RUNAWAY!>
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