My ESP failed me today

[SarcasticJerk]

I have no idea why customers assume we're friends of Miss Cleo.
The first time was midly amusing. The second time funny. The third.. wtf?
And, to top it off, you had to be sucky?

Act one:

SC: I want the special for two mediums for $16.99
Me: Is that a coupon or something? (We don't have such special.)
SC: No, but I got it last night.
Me: Ok, lemme find that in the computer.
(Only thing I find is two pizzas and a 2-litre at that price, so I figure I'll give him the pizzas and keep the 2-litre for myself.)
Me: Ok, what would you like on them?
SC: *gives me his order*
Me: Ok, and your phone number?
SC: Same as I'm clling from, but it's going to a <address> this time.
Me: And what would that number be?
SC: Don't you know my phone number and address already?
Me: No, sir, I'm not psychic.
SC: What?
Me: I don't know you, so I have no idea what your phone number is.
SC: Whenever I call, they always already know my info. It should be on your screen.
Me: Well, maybe if our caller ID were working. But it hasn't for over a month.
SC: *gives me phone number and address*
Me: Ok, your total is <21-something>, with tax, and it will be out there in about half an hour.
SC: <21-something>?
Me: Yes
SC: Well last night, it was 19-something, and I gave the driver $22.
Me: Well, that would mean you didn't get a special for $16.99.
SC: Then I want whatever I got last night!
Me: Lemme see what you got last night...
Me: It looks like you got a special for $14.99 last night.
SC: I want that then!
Me: Ok, your total is $19.10 now.
SC: How long will it be?
Me: About forty-five minutes.

Act two:

SC: I want two of those five dollar pizzas.
Me: The carryout special for a medium for five bucks?
SC: Yeah
*She orders two pizzas and garlic bread*
Me: Ok, you total is <15-something>, and you can pic kit up in about twenty minutes.
SC: I want it delivered.
Me: Oh, I thought you wanted carryout, since you ordered the carryout special. It'll be more if it's delivered.
SC: Why?
Me: Because you got the carryout special for $5. That doesn't apply to delivery orders.
SC: But I got garlic bread.
Me: Yes
SC: ...
Me: ...
SC: ...
Me: Delivered it will come to <24-something>
SC: Why is it more? I wanted the $5 pizzas!
Me: Because the $5 special is for carryout only.
SC: But I ordered garlic bread!
Me: Yes
SC: ...
Me: ... (I'm seeing a trend here.)
Me: Ok, so your total is <24-something>
SC: But I ordered garlic bread!
Me: Yeah, you've said that three times now. I have no idea why, since it has nothing to do with anything. Ordering garlic bread has no bearing on the price of pizza.
(She eventaully takes the garlic bread off, reducing the pirce to $19, making me realise that she only has $20 on her.)
Me: Ok, and your phone number?
(Uh-oh, trick question!)
SC: It's xxx-1234. Or, no, xxx-2134. Or is it 1243. Yeah, 1243. I'm pretty sure it's 1243.
Me: Ok *typing*
SC: Is that right? 1243?
Me: I have no idea. I don't know you.
SC: You don't know if that's right or not?
Me: No, I'm not pyshic.
SC: I think I'll call <competitor>.
Me: You do that. Maybe *they* can tell you your phone number.
(She hung up on me...)

Act three:

Background: We had a large timed order for carryout at 3PM. The manager had joked earlier that she hope it wouldn't end up being a bad order. At 3:10, I mentioned that I had a bad feeling. At 3:15 the phone rings, it's them they want it delivered now. Manager gets their address, and I take the (now) delivery. I'll skip to when I returned...

Me: Well... that took... forever... (I was gone about 45 minutes.)
M: You get lost?
Me: Nope. Where was it supposed to go to? (I'm holding the ticket in my hand.)
M: Did I type the number wrong on the address?
Me: Nope, that's where they live.
M: ? ...so what happened?
Me: They didn't tell you it was going to the pool?
M: No. He never said anything about a pool! Wtf?
Me: Luckily, I'm psychic, and I knew to take it to the pool when nobody was home.
M: <stare>
Me: Yeah! Or maybe the neighbor saw me, and told me they were having a b-day party at the pool. So I went there and found him.
M: WTF? Why didn't he say he wanted it delivered somewhere else?
Me: Oh, it gets better. He... didn't have the money, and had to go home to get it.
M: *screams*

Side note: Yes, I do say things like this to customers. If you want to be stupid, or just get sucky, I'm a smartass.

[Sliceanddice]

yeah i wish i could say that but i cant.

[Gravekeeper]

(Only thing I find is two pizzas and a 2-litre at that price, so I figure I'll give him the pizzas and keep the 2-litre for myself.)

Er....that strikes me as rather dickish, frankly. As you're basically stealing from a customer. Even if they are simple minded. =/

[Mr Hero]

(She eventaully takes the garlic bread off, reducing the pirce to $19, making me realise that she only has $20 on her.)

So she plans on leaving the delivery driver a shitty tip?

[Aethian]

Er....that strikes me as rather dickish, frankly. As you're basically stealing from a customer. Even if they are simple minded. =/

Thats exactly what I thought as well when I read it.

[SilverOrb]

I actually rather thought it was STEALING myself. If you pay for something, you should get it... But that's just me.

Even if the customer was a moron

[bainsidhe]

The pool guy better have tipped. Just sayin'

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

(Only thing I find is two pizzas and a 2-litre at that price, so I figure I'll give him the pizzas and keep the 2-litre for myself.)

Oh come on now. You're better than this, I hope.

[SarcasticJerk]

I don't have a problem with what I did. He wanted two for $16.99, and that's what he was going to receive. The guy was being dickish from the get-go, and was using the tone of voice that said "I'm getting what I want!". He asked for a special that doesn't exist, but that he got 'last night'. I was doing him a favor by discounting it it to that price. If I had wanted to be more of a dick, I would have told him that he needed a coupon for that price (or the $14.99 I ended up giving him), and that if he didn't have the coupon he'd pay full price. Of course, had he actually *asked* about any specials, I would have told him he could get three for $15. But I didn't like him.

[kiwiwinelover]

I like the word Dickish. I'm trying to think how i could use it in everyday life....

[Fox One]

I don't have a problem with what I did. He wanted two for $16.99, and that's what he was going to receive.

He wanted just two pizzas for $16.99, but he paid for two pizzas and a soda, the latter of which you kept for yourself. It's not really up for debate: Legally speaking, you committed theft.

This is like one second away from hitting fratching territory, so I'm shushing now.

[Kiwi]

(Only thing I find is two pizzas and a 2-litre at that price, so I figure I'll give him the pizzas and keep the 2-litre for myself.)

I really don't think that is okay.

[SarcasticJerk]

He wanted just two pizzas for $16.99, but he paid for two pizzas and a soda, the latter of which you kept for yourself. It's not really up for debate: Legally speaking, you committed theft.

This is like one second away from hitting fratching territory, so I'm shushing now.

Actually, no such thing occurred. He got two pizzas for $14.99. So, legally speaking, there was no theft.
However, by giving him the discount when he didn't have the coupon, I did cheat the company out of their money. That, thecnically, is theft.

[MadMike]

I can see both sides of the issue. However, the fact that this could be considered stealing is something we don't want to look like we condone here. It's been reported, and I was going to edit it out, but it looks like I'd have to clear out half the posts in this thread as well.

Now that the issue with the coupon has been discussed back and forth several times, I'd like it if we could move past it.

[SilverOrb]

Act two:


SC: But I got garlic bread.
***********
SC: Why is it more? I wanted the $5 pizzas!
Me: Because the $5 special is for carryout only.
SC: But I ordered garlic bread!
***********
Me: Ok, so your total is <24-something>
SC: But I ordered garlic bread!
*************
(Uh-oh, trick question!)
SC: It's xxx-1234. Or, no, xxx-2134. Or is it 1243. Yeah, 1243. I'm pretty sure it's 1243.
*************
SC: You don't know if that's right or not?
Me: No, I'm not pyshic.
SC: I think I'll call <competitor>.
Me: You do that. Maybe *they* can tell you your phone number.
(She hung up on me...)

Don't you just love people who go on and on and on and on and on and somehow think that it is going to change the nature of reality?!

And the lovely people who don't know their own number.