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I wish to present to you a list of things you should and should not do when shopping for groceries. I did search through the old threads for something similar, but didn't find anything, so apologies if this is a repost, but there are many, many thing which drive me nuts. If you think of anything I've missed, add it on! This is also up in my LJ, and I wish for it to become a definitive list which will one day deserve capitals. Anyway:
1. Place things on MY left, not your left. Things move across the counter from left to right. If you don't do it right, I will move them.
2. DON'T give me that snotty look when I tell you I'm closing. I'm either going on break, or I'm going home. Either way, I don't care about you. Go away.
3. If you want to give me exact change, do it when you give me the rest of the money. Don't wait until I've cashed off on a $50 note, then say "Oh, did you want the ____ cents?" I swear to god, I will shove that 20 cents so far up your...*ahem*
4. Pack your own groceries. There is nothing that will enrage a cashier more than some twat standing there with their arms folded while the stuff piles up at the end of the counter. There is a limited amount of space, and if it gets too full, I have to stop what I'm doing to pack your stuff, and it takes twice as long. What, are your arms painted on?
5. Yes, there's a big sign. Don't stand there gawking at it while I'm waiting for you to sign the credit receipt.
6. If you want to check your receipt, get out of the way so other people can go through.
7. Don't pull my bags down. Just don't. If you can't reach them, move. Other people have to use those bags too, you know.
8. Don't complain to me about how filthy the counters are. We do our best, but with the number of people who come through, we don't have time to be constantly cleaning them. And don't give me a snotty look when I explain that to you. Do you want me to lick them clean or something?
9. DO NOT, under any circumstances, snatch things out of my hands. If I'm getting your stuff mixed up with that of the person in front of you, maybe you should have waited five minutes until I'd finished serving them before you started cramming your things onto my counter. Ass.
10. Don't just keep piling things onto the counter. Stack them intelligently, so that they don't come crashing down in a big avalanche the second I breathe near them. Or just wait two minutes until I clear some space.
11. Don't come rushing through like a bloody gale-force wind. The world won't end if you don't get your groceries in the next 30 seconds.
12. When I greet you, respond. It's rude to ignore people. "Hello". There, that didn't hurt, did it?
13. Read the signs. "Cash only" means exactly what it says. Don't come through with $150 worth of stuff, whip out your credit card with a big shit-eating grin on your face, then bitch to me about "You should have a sign up!" There's two.
14. "The back" is not a magic vortex where we keep all the stuff we don't want you to have. When I say "Sorry, we don't have any more", I mean there's no more. Don't ask me to check out the back - I'll go out the back, but all I'm doing is telling the guys out there what a dick you are.
15. If something scans at the wrong price, by all means let me know, and I'll fix it. But don't be rude to me about it - I'm not trying to rip you off, I just work here.
16. Shut your kid up. You might think it's cute when they make that noise, but someone who's been hearing many children making that noise all goddamn day wants to kill your little precious.
17. Don't put things on my scales when I'm trying to weigh your other things. If you must do that, count yourself lucky they won't read anything, because you'd be the first to complain if I overcharged you, wouldn't you? And keep your kid's fingers off my scales.
18. No, you can't put your kid on my scales, no matter how hard he whines. First, that's disgusting, other people's food has to go on there, and second, they won't register anything over 15 kilos anyway. Food goes on the counter, kid goes on the floor. End of story.
19. I am not a social worker. Please, for the love of god, don't complain to me about your husband, particularly when he's standing 3 feet away. And I don't care about your children. I really don't, so don't complain about them, either. If you didn't want kids, you should have worked out what was causing it, and stopped doing it.
20. Don't be a bitch to me when your boyfriend hits on me. Take it up with him, because I'm trapped behind a counter and can't escape from him.
21. BATHE. For god's sake, soap and deodorant are not that expensive.
22. Please remember that you are in a place which sells food. WEAR SHOES.
23. Be nice to the other customers. They hate it there and want to get out just as much as you do. There was an incident a few weeks ago where some stupid tart was blocking the aisle with her trolley, chatting away. Another woman, who was there with her son, asked her to move several times, then got fed up and pushed past her. As she did, the first woman turned around, grabbed a frozen chicken out of her trolley and swung it around. I don't know exactly who she was aiming for, but she hit the kid, and his mother just flew at this bitch. The police were called, etc, but I don't think anything came of it. This happened before I came on shift, but apparently the woman whose kid it was had been in remission from breast cancer - so she'd been through all that crap, her son had been through it with her, and then they've got to put up with shit like that from some rude bitch. There were a couple of guys there who were trying to hold these two back, but more than a few of the ladies I work with said "If that had been my kid, they wouldn't have stopped me".
The thing about this is that my mother would have done the same - if someone's in her way and doesn't move when she asks them to, she'll just push past. And if you take a chicken to my mother, chances are she'll take one to you in return. O_O"
24. DO. NOT. HAGGLE. We are a shop, not a market. Just because it says "market garden" on the sign, doesn't mean we *are* a market garden, it means we're *supplied* by market gardens. Someone pulled that yesterday - her total was $50.05, and she said "Take off the five cents and we've got a deal!" I, of course, said "Sorry, can't do that". I had another one a while ago - "Knock off the 25 cents, hey? Make it $30 even?" I just said "$30.25, thanks".
25. DON'T TOUCH ME. Just because I am behind a register and can't escape from you, doesn't mean you have any right to touch me in any way. Keep your filthy hands to yourself, thank you.
26. Don't ask "Is your name *name of store*?" and then laugh like a loon. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it, and it's even less funny the hundredth time.
27. Yes, I know our pre-packaged fruit is poor quality. That's why it's $1.99 for 2 kilos, rather than the standard $1.99 per kilo for loose fruit. Don't complain to me about it - I didn't put that rotten apple in there just to annoy you.
28. See that big sign that says "Entry"? That's the *entrance*. The one that says "Exit" is the *exit*. Do not enter via the exit with a trolley, and expect to be able to force your way through the queues at the registers. We will tell you to go out and come in properly.
29. Do not beat your children in the store. Common sense tells most people to go out to the car, where there are no witnesses. O_o"
30. Don't hit on me. Don't call me 'Babe', I am not a piglet.
Gah. The fact that I have 30 things ont his list already is depressing. What's worse is that I know there's more than that.
1. Place things on MY left, not your left. Things move across the counter from left to right. If you don't do it right, I will move them.
2. DON'T give me that snotty look when I tell you I'm closing. I'm either going on break, or I'm going home. Either way, I don't care about you. Go away.
3. If you want to give me exact change, do it when you give me the rest of the money. Don't wait until I've cashed off on a $50 note, then say "Oh, did you want the ____ cents?" I swear to god, I will shove that 20 cents so far up your...*ahem*
4. Pack your own groceries. There is nothing that will enrage a cashier more than some twat standing there with their arms folded while the stuff piles up at the end of the counter. There is a limited amount of space, and if it gets too full, I have to stop what I'm doing to pack your stuff, and it takes twice as long. What, are your arms painted on?
5. Yes, there's a big sign. Don't stand there gawking at it while I'm waiting for you to sign the credit receipt.
6. If you want to check your receipt, get out of the way so other people can go through.
7. Don't pull my bags down. Just don't. If you can't reach them, move. Other people have to use those bags too, you know.
8. Don't complain to me about how filthy the counters are. We do our best, but with the number of people who come through, we don't have time to be constantly cleaning them. And don't give me a snotty look when I explain that to you. Do you want me to lick them clean or something?
9. DO NOT, under any circumstances, snatch things out of my hands. If I'm getting your stuff mixed up with that of the person in front of you, maybe you should have waited five minutes until I'd finished serving them before you started cramming your things onto my counter. Ass.
10. Don't just keep piling things onto the counter. Stack them intelligently, so that they don't come crashing down in a big avalanche the second I breathe near them. Or just wait two minutes until I clear some space.
11. Don't come rushing through like a bloody gale-force wind. The world won't end if you don't get your groceries in the next 30 seconds.
12. When I greet you, respond. It's rude to ignore people. "Hello". There, that didn't hurt, did it?
13. Read the signs. "Cash only" means exactly what it says. Don't come through with $150 worth of stuff, whip out your credit card with a big shit-eating grin on your face, then bitch to me about "You should have a sign up!" There's two.
14. "The back" is not a magic vortex where we keep all the stuff we don't want you to have. When I say "Sorry, we don't have any more", I mean there's no more. Don't ask me to check out the back - I'll go out the back, but all I'm doing is telling the guys out there what a dick you are.
15. If something scans at the wrong price, by all means let me know, and I'll fix it. But don't be rude to me about it - I'm not trying to rip you off, I just work here.
16. Shut your kid up. You might think it's cute when they make that noise, but someone who's been hearing many children making that noise all goddamn day wants to kill your little precious.
17. Don't put things on my scales when I'm trying to weigh your other things. If you must do that, count yourself lucky they won't read anything, because you'd be the first to complain if I overcharged you, wouldn't you? And keep your kid's fingers off my scales.
18. No, you can't put your kid on my scales, no matter how hard he whines. First, that's disgusting, other people's food has to go on there, and second, they won't register anything over 15 kilos anyway. Food goes on the counter, kid goes on the floor. End of story.
19. I am not a social worker. Please, for the love of god, don't complain to me about your husband, particularly when he's standing 3 feet away. And I don't care about your children. I really don't, so don't complain about them, either. If you didn't want kids, you should have worked out what was causing it, and stopped doing it.
20. Don't be a bitch to me when your boyfriend hits on me. Take it up with him, because I'm trapped behind a counter and can't escape from him.
21. BATHE. For god's sake, soap and deodorant are not that expensive.
22. Please remember that you are in a place which sells food. WEAR SHOES.
23. Be nice to the other customers. They hate it there and want to get out just as much as you do. There was an incident a few weeks ago where some stupid tart was blocking the aisle with her trolley, chatting away. Another woman, who was there with her son, asked her to move several times, then got fed up and pushed past her. As she did, the first woman turned around, grabbed a frozen chicken out of her trolley and swung it around. I don't know exactly who she was aiming for, but she hit the kid, and his mother just flew at this bitch. The police were called, etc, but I don't think anything came of it. This happened before I came on shift, but apparently the woman whose kid it was had been in remission from breast cancer - so she'd been through all that crap, her son had been through it with her, and then they've got to put up with shit like that from some rude bitch. There were a couple of guys there who were trying to hold these two back, but more than a few of the ladies I work with said "If that had been my kid, they wouldn't have stopped me".
The thing about this is that my mother would have done the same - if someone's in her way and doesn't move when she asks them to, she'll just push past. And if you take a chicken to my mother, chances are she'll take one to you in return. O_O"
24. DO. NOT. HAGGLE. We are a shop, not a market. Just because it says "market garden" on the sign, doesn't mean we *are* a market garden, it means we're *supplied* by market gardens. Someone pulled that yesterday - her total was $50.05, and she said "Take off the five cents and we've got a deal!" I, of course, said "Sorry, can't do that". I had another one a while ago - "Knock off the 25 cents, hey? Make it $30 even?" I just said "$30.25, thanks".
25. DON'T TOUCH ME. Just because I am behind a register and can't escape from you, doesn't mean you have any right to touch me in any way. Keep your filthy hands to yourself, thank you.
26. Don't ask "Is your name *name of store*?" and then laugh like a loon. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it, and it's even less funny the hundredth time.
27. Yes, I know our pre-packaged fruit is poor quality. That's why it's $1.99 for 2 kilos, rather than the standard $1.99 per kilo for loose fruit. Don't complain to me about it - I didn't put that rotten apple in there just to annoy you.
28. See that big sign that says "Entry"? That's the *entrance*. The one that says "Exit" is the *exit*. Do not enter via the exit with a trolley, and expect to be able to force your way through the queues at the registers. We will tell you to go out and come in properly.
29. Do not beat your children in the store. Common sense tells most people to go out to the car, where there are no witnesses. O_o"
30. Don't hit on me. Don't call me 'Babe', I am not a piglet.
Gah. The fact that I have 30 things ont his list already is depressing. What's worse is that I know there's more than that.
- Angelspit, '100%'
look at this point.
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