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  • Easter Fun and Other Stories

    So I worked the entire week leading up to Easter, and then Easter Sunday too. I'm really surprised that I only collected three memorable SCs during that entire time, but I've also got two from earlier that were fairly odd.

    Learn to Count
    So two guys come up to the register with a loaded cart and reeking of marijuana and body odor. This is already off to a good start and one of the guys is stumbling over his mostly-mumbled words, trying to explain to me that I need to ring things up from the front to the back because he's on food stamps. I eventually assure him that I will, and get started.

    Not far in, I picked up a bag of lemons in a mesh bag and the bottom tore open, spilling all the lemons into his cart. He immediately informed me he didn't want them anymore. Okay, first things first - they fell into your cart, not the floor. You have other produce sitting directly in the cart already. Second - it was a mesh bag. The lemons were touching the cart through the gaps already. Finally, judging from the stench around you, neither of you are the most hygienic people to begin with. I doubt touching the cart will cause you excessive suffering.

    Of course, by the time we were halfway through (at $70), he realized he didn't have that much money on his food stamp card. So he started having me void off items one by one until we got down under $50.


    You're kind of stupid
    I was clearing the lot a few weeks ago when this older man comes up, doubling over in laughter. He's managing to say "Boar's Head!" between gasps as he claps me solidly on the back. He goes on to explain, "Ya'll are sellin' boar's heads back there! I'm gonna get me a whole boar's head!"

    And then stumbled off still laughing.

    For those not in the know, "Boar's Head" is a rather expensive brand of deli meats and cheeses.


    And so are you
    Another incident with that particular brand. This time it was a young woman talking to who I can only assume was a boyfriend. I overheard them in the lobby as I headed outside. Said the young lady: "Oh! My! Gawd! They sell boar's heads here? Like whole pig's heads?! That is sooo nasty!"


    Plz learn historical context and translation issues kthnxbye
    Few days ago, was bagging when this girl comes through the line and the cashier starts picking up the potted plants she had. The first three were $6.99, and the last two $7.99. K, the cashier, got the first three up, then paused to find a price sticker on one of the second two. The girl started getting panicky. She was literally bouncing on her heels out of sheer anxiety. She pointed at the register's screen while trying her hardest not to look directly at it, saying "Oh, please hurry up! I don't like six-six-six!"

    I wonder if she was able to look over her receipt without a similar panic attack.


    Volume control
    So again bagging this past week and a guy in a business suit comes up to the line talking VERY LOUDLY on a bluetooth phone. I curse the fact that the only people who seem to get signal in our store are the ones who talk loud enough they could just shout their message to the recipient just as easily. Not only did he persist in his conversation regarding the price of a rental truck during the entire checkout, but he was also being very particular about his bagging. Furthermore, it seemed the only way he had to communicate his desires was to increase his volume even higher and start grabbing at things. That lead to wonderful gems like "WELL YEAH I KNOW BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THE PRICE JIM HEY DON'T BAG THOSE TOGETHER TOLD ME IS GOING TO BE WHAT BOB THOSE EITHER THOSE NEED THEIR OWN BAG CHARGES ME YOU KNOW?"

    That order ended with him having a cart full of bags with maybe 1-2 items and each, and the cashier and I with slightly ringing ears.


    But now I finally get days off.
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  • #2
    Boar's Head is a fairly expensive microbrew beer in my neck of the woods if that explains anything.

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    • #3
      Wow I never encountered anyone at my old job who thought we sold a whole head of a boar.

      But I sure miss the free samples from Boar's Head. Yummy

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      • #4
        Boar's Head is really freakin' expensive! Like, unecessarily expensive! The grocery store that I love to shop at carries ONLY Boar's Head in their deli case. No other options. So, I have to go to another store if I want deli meat.
        "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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        • #5
          Quoth KabeRinnaul View Post
          And so are you
          Another incident with that particular brand. This time it was a young woman talking to who I can only assume was a boyfriend. I overheard them in the lobby as I headed outside. Said the young lady: "Oh! My! Gawd! They sell boar's heads here? Like whole pig's heads?! That is sooo nasty!"
          Ok...she needs to go to the freezer section at the Walmart in Laredo. My jaw dropped, I looked at my husband...he said one word...tamales....that was it. The lightbulb popped on ... all was good in my world again.
          Tamezin

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth KabeRinnaul View Post
            Not far in, I picked up a bag of lemons in a mesh bag and the bottom tore open, spilling all the lemons into his cart. He immediately informed me he didn't want them anymore. Okay, first things first - they fell into your cart, not the floor. You have other produce sitting directly in the cart already. Second - it was a mesh bag. The lemons were touching the cart through the gaps already. Finally, judging from the stench around you, neither of you are the most hygienic people to begin with. I doubt touching the cart will cause you excessive suffering.
            You forgot #4: you don't eat the outer rind of a lemon, generally speaking, you eat the inside. The only exception is when you zest the lemon, but I haven't met too many stoners that got THAT Rachael Ray for their meals.

            Quoth auntiem View Post
            Boar's Head is a fairly expensive microbrew beer in my neck of the woods if that explains anything.
            Aaaaand that still wouldn't suffice as an explanation for the two Stupids who thought the store in question was selling whole pig heads.

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth tamezin View Post
              Ok...she needs to go to the freezer section at the Walmart in Laredo. My jaw dropped, I looked at my husband...he said one word...tamales....that was it. The lightbulb popped on ... all was good in my world again.


              You been to Laredo?!?!? My Home town.

              First job was at the HEB. At least once a week I would make 'eye' contact with a Cabeza from the meat market. Don't get me started on the Tripas (hated the smell when it was being cooked).


              P.S.
              One word. Cabrito.
              I loved it when tourists would see one being cooked and ask what it is and they would freak when told it was 'kid'.
              I'm tolerant of everyone and everything except for assholes. - Mongo Skruddgemire

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              • #8
                Not recently, but sometimes there are customers who get the total $6.66 and freak out and have to purchase some other small item to change the total.

                Honestly, I don't think it's a problem unless your kid has it as a birthmark on his body...
                https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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                • #9
                  She pointed at the register's screen while trying her hardest not to look directly at it, saying "Oh, please hurry up! I don't like six-six-six!"
                  she .. and the others... need to watch the movie "Doom Generation"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth AnaKhouri View Post
                    Not recently, but sometimes there are customers who get the total $6.66 and freak out and have to purchase some other small item to change the total.
                    Got that a lot as a drive-through cashier at BK a few years ago. They'd usually give me extra coins just so they weren't paying that amount. Just happened that ordering a particular combo with a side of chicken nuggets (or something like that) came out to $6.66 every time.
                    » Horse Words «·» Roleplaying Stuff «

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                    • #11
                      Quoth tamezin View Post
                      Ok...she needs to go to the freezer section at the Walmart in Laredo. My jaw dropped, I looked at my husband...he said one word...tamales....that was it. The lightbulb popped on ... all was good in my world again.
                      Huh? I don't get it. What's odd about frozen tamales?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth KabeRinnaul View Post
                        Another incident with that particular brand. This time it was a young woman talking to who I can only assume was a boyfriend. I overheard them in the lobby as I headed outside. Said the young lady: "Oh! My! Gawd! They sell boar's heads here? Like whole pig's heads?! That is sooo nasty!"
                        Then the entire lot of them should avoid the FoodTown on beltway 8 and Beechnut; they sell whole pig's heads.

                        And my Wally World sometimes does sell Boar's Head meats for a good price so I go get that stuff. Sooo tasty!
                        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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