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Allow me to relate the most disturbing call I've ever taken...I was suddenly reminded of it while sifting through the fun at work here.
This happened years and years ago when I was still barely more then a trainee. I took a call from this guy who just wanted to page a friend of his a quick thank you note. Nothing out of the ordinary. Oh how oblivious I was to the horror that would follow....
I took his message and went to page it to the person in question, but it slowly became apparent I couldn't get this guy off the line. He was a Chatter(tm). He was going on about how much he wanted to thank this person, and how they had given him and his mom some great advice. So he started asking my opinion on whether he should sent them some flowers, or pick up some wine or something for them...
I'm politely trying to get him off the line, but he's holding in there like an admirable little ass barnacle. Then he starts to reveal the advice he was given. Apparently he was told he needed to get laid. Now we've drunkeningly stumbled into the Too Much Information zone and I'm starting to fear he's going to give me details. Yet I still can't get the bastard off the line. Because I was still relatively new my faith in humanity was intact so I was still being polite....
Then he reveals this person gave the same advice to his mom. That she too needed to get laid. He goes on about how much better he feels after getting laid, as does his mother. ( Gah! ). Then he says the one thing that sets off all the alarm bells in my head...
"Most people think its really weird to sleep with your mom, but it was just what we needed!"
Sweet baby Jesus on a unicycle juggling wombats on fire, I've never mentally backpaddled from a conversation so fast. Now I'm attempting to escape without hanging up outright....no can do. He's starting to give me far more giddy detail then I would ever, ever want or need. He kept saying its weird but he's still really happy! (shudder)
So he starts talking about sending a gift again, or maybe a card. He asks me what I think again, and what do I say in my horrified brilliance?
"I don't think Hallmark makes a card for that." ><
"Yeah, you're right, well thanks for your advice!"
You're welcome, I'm going to go on break early, curl up in the corner and hug myself till the images stop.
This happened years and years ago when I was still barely more then a trainee. I took a call from this guy who just wanted to page a friend of his a quick thank you note. Nothing out of the ordinary. Oh how oblivious I was to the horror that would follow....
I took his message and went to page it to the person in question, but it slowly became apparent I couldn't get this guy off the line. He was a Chatter(tm). He was going on about how much he wanted to thank this person, and how they had given him and his mom some great advice. So he started asking my opinion on whether he should sent them some flowers, or pick up some wine or something for them...
I'm politely trying to get him off the line, but he's holding in there like an admirable little ass barnacle. Then he starts to reveal the advice he was given. Apparently he was told he needed to get laid. Now we've drunkeningly stumbled into the Too Much Information zone and I'm starting to fear he's going to give me details. Yet I still can't get the bastard off the line. Because I was still relatively new my faith in humanity was intact so I was still being polite....
Then he reveals this person gave the same advice to his mom. That she too needed to get laid. He goes on about how much better he feels after getting laid, as does his mother. ( Gah! ). Then he says the one thing that sets off all the alarm bells in my head...
"Most people think its really weird to sleep with your mom, but it was just what we needed!"
Sweet baby Jesus on a unicycle juggling wombats on fire, I've never mentally backpaddled from a conversation so fast. Now I'm attempting to escape without hanging up outright....no can do. He's starting to give me far more giddy detail then I would ever, ever want or need. He kept saying its weird but he's still really happy! (shudder)
So he starts talking about sending a gift again, or maybe a card. He asks me what I think again, and what do I say in my horrified brilliance?
"I don't think Hallmark makes a card for that." ><
"Yeah, you're right, well thanks for your advice!"
You're welcome, I'm going to go on break early, curl up in the corner and hug myself till the images stop.
There are no words for that!
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