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Can't I just go home?

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  • Can't I just go home?

    Last night was not my night for work. After another day spent not seeing my husband since he left for school/work early in the morning, I had to go work a closing shift with my least-favorite CSM.

    But first, a tale from last week that I forgot about until last night.

    Got Beer?

    While working the cigarette lane (oh, how I despise thee), I had this gem of a customer come up. He looked greasy and unkempt, and was buying something like a DVD player and one or two smaller items from the Health and Beauty department. And a pack of cigarettes as I discovered halfway through the transaction, but I'm kinda' jaded to that. But the first thing he says to me?

    "Do you have any beer here?"

    He asked this while leaning close enough that I could pick up the malodorous tang of stale booze on his breath, shirt, and hair. By smell alone, I would hazard to guess he was already on his way to being drunk. Wearing eau d'Booze and it being only 10 am at that!

    Thankfully, I got to tell him no, since we are a smaller Wal-Mart. Only an Expanded Foods department rather than the full-on grocery section the Supercenters have, plus we're not open 24 hours. No alcohol anywhere in the store, except over in Health and Beauty (and, like malt vinegar, I don't recommend drinking that stuff). If we did carry liquor, I'm pretty sure our training module for alcohol sales mentions that we're not to sell alcohol to anyone who smells of booze.
    ---

    And now for last night's "perks."

    Yes, I'm Targeting YOU

    A female customer came through my line before I got bumped over to the cigarette lane (which was Pregnant Lady Central, since the cashier sending me to my first break was also pregnant). Now, this lady was paying with a credit card. This lady's total came to about $200, which means that the register prompted for a signature comparison (anything $100+). However, the lady had swiped the card while I was still ringing things up and had already tucked it back in her purse.

    So I politely ask to see the card for signature comparison. She finishes signing the PINpad screen and huffs annoyedly, digging the card back out. She tosses it toward me with her ID and a very annoyed look at me, like I'm doing this just to bother her. Nevermind that she's the one who didn't keep the card out just in case. I always set my credit card signature-up on the check counter just in case when I'm paying. Once or twice, the cashier's actually needed to see it.

    Now at this point, I notice that I didn't hear the little "beep" sound the PINpad makes when the customer hits OK after signing for their card. So I politely ask the customer to hit the OK button (I'm still holding her card and unasked-for ID at this point). She glares at me and huffs some more, jabbing at the button with her finger for a few moments (touch screen) before picking up the electronic pen to do it (much more reliable). I wait for the receipt to print out and compare signatures and hand everything back to her with my usual cheerful grin. She merely glares at me like I'm specifically targeting her with these inconveniences. Sorry, Ma'am, I'm an equal opportunity inconveniencer!

    Um, Ew?

    The very next lady was pleasant to deal with, but came with a kind of disgusting habit.

    She was chewing gum.

    Now, I don't mind gum chewers. I chew gum myself. I at least have the courtesy to tuck it between cheek and gums when I need to talk to someone, and I don't chew with my mouth open.

    This lady was chewing this piece of gum with her front teeth, mouth open, while talking to me. That gum nearly went flying at me at least ten times during the very short transaction. She continued to chew like that, with the gum flipping half-out of her mouth every other bite, even when she wasn't saying anything. It was all I could do to keep from wrinkling my nose up in disgust.

    Scan, Dang It!

    While on the self-checkouts, I noticed one woman who had finished ringing her purchases, had picked up a magazine from the magazine rack, and attempted to ring it up too. The scanner didn't pick up the barcode for some reason, so what did this lady do? Did she slowly pass it over the scanner a second time to try to get it to read? Did she hold it closer to the scanner? Did she ask me for help?

    No. She shook it vigorously in front of the laser reader, to the point her hands were almost a blur. The scanners don't read anything passed over them that fast (just ask any of the customers who do this to the gift cards). Eventually, the woman just stuck the magazine back on the rack and left. At least she didn't try to steal it.

    Sir, Chauvinism Isn't Funny

    One older male customer decided it'd be funny to make male chauvinist pig remarks to me during the entire transaction. Comments like a generalization about women and money (and how once they get the man's money, they want nothing to do with him again). Stuff that I would've considered borderline harassment, except that I was ringing him out quickly (yay, small purchase!), and the younger (25-ish?) son/grandson with him was a perfect gentleman and more than made up for it. Son even told me to ignore the old man, to which I thought, "Already doing that, sir, but thank you for caring." I think I might have even leveled a steely glare at the old guy in response to one of his jokes. I can't remember.

    Accusing the Cashier/Store of Cheating You Isn't Funny Either

    This other customer was buying a toaster or some other small kitchen appliance, among other things, and the box was too large for me to fit into a bag. I simply set it on top of the bagging carousel, and most customers just put it back in the cart. Some ask if they need a "paid" sticker for it, and I tell them that their receipt is enough if the door-greeter stops them.

    This customer, though.... ::makes strangling motions:: His wife was pleasant enough, but while she was writing out the check the husband looks at the box. He feels the packing tape running across the top seam. Now, this tape is standard on any of the small kitchen appliances (especially from this particular manufacturer), and is on the boxes when the stores receive the items. It keeps the box shut, rather than using glue.

    The customer eyes it, then looks at me. "Can I open this in here to make sure nothing's broken or missing?" he asks.

    I politely reply that he might want to wait until he's left the store to do so, and jokingly add that our security people might get on his case if he opens the box before then.

    The man merely gives me a sort of half-glare, half-stare. "I don't like this tape on here," he says. "How do I know you guys aren't ripping me off?"

    Buh? "Sir, the box comes like that from the manufacturer."

    He flips the box over and sees a matching strip of neatly-placed tape on the bottom seam. "Are you sure?" he asks, his voice dripping with suspicion.

    "I'm certain, sir. That's how ApplianceCompany packs the products they send us, instead of gluing the boxes shut."

    He levels me the Stare of Suspicion, but seems placated by this. Has he never bought a small kitchen appliance before? Every microwave, crockpot, blender, toaster, etc. that I've seen has come taped into its box instead of glued.
    ---

    I know there were more minor peeves, but I must've blocked them from memory while trying to endure the cigarette lane and the few-screws-loose CSM S.

    ...Who, once again, managed to forget my last break. Which means once I finally got off the cigarette register (at only 10:05! The store closes as 10 pm, and the cigarette register stays open last to ring out straggling customers. That must be a record!), I got to sit in the breakroom for 15 minutes instead of having to endure S's bright idea of having a Wal-Mart cheer after close, or having to zone and put away returns.

    To top off the bad night, there were no empty parking spaces close (or vaguely close) to our apartment door when I got home, and I ended up denting another car in an attempt to pull into a crappily-placed parking space, and a few other minor stressors, and you have the makings for a sucktacular night.

    Luckily today is shaping up to be much better.
    "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
    - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

  • #2
    Quoth Kogarashi View Post
    Wearing eau d'Booze and it being only 10 am at that!
    Wow, I'm surprised you didn't get drunk off the odor!!!

    Quoth Kogarashi View Post
    She merely glares at me like I'm specifically targeting her with these inconveniences. Sorry, Ma'am, I'm an equal opportunity inconveniencer!
    Isn't it surprising how little people appreciate the extra steps you take in cutting down on identity theft? You were merely doing her a favor . . . (what would have happened if the signatures didn't match?!?)

    Quoth Kogarashi View Post
    She was chewing gum.
    Drives me nuts when people chew gum over the phone . . . and you can hear it. Chewing gum (and practicing etiquette by tucking it away) is not very becoming either . . .

    Quoth Kogarashi View Post
    At least she didn't try to steal it.
    It didn't occur to her to at least try another magazine??

    Quoth Kogarashi View Post
    Comments like a generalization about women and money (and how once they get the man's money, they want nothing to do with him again).
    I've had to help a guy like that before. What he was saying was rude, but how he was saying wasn't . . . I wanted to punch him in the face, but couldn't because, alas, I was on the clock. I just had to the half-laugh . . . "o.k." . . . *moron*

    Quoth Kogarashi View Post
    The man merely gives me a sort of half-glare, half-stare. "I don't like this tape on here," he says. "How do I know you guys aren't ripping me off?"
    Uhh, probably 'cause you would've seen either A. an extra layer of tape on the box or B. marks that the tape would have been removed. Plus, why would the store rip him off, what could they have done? Take out the warranty card? Rip an important page out of the manual?



    Ahhh, well, I guess a day wouldn't be normal without SC's . . . could you imagine what a day would be like without them??!!!


    Hope your day went great!!
    This area is left blank for a reason.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth karma_gypsy View Post
      Ahhh, well, I guess a day wouldn't be normal without SC's . . . could you imagine what a day would be like without them??!!!
      Pleasant.

      Enjoyable.

      Relaxing.

      Lucrative.

      Happy.

      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
      Still A Customer."

      Comment


      • #4
        Rip an important page out of the manual?
        Oh, what a great idea. I'm *so* going to go mess stuff up tomorrow.
        Things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do. I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew,that someday it would bring me back to you.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth saint View Post
          Oh, what a great idea. I'm *so* going to go mess stuff up tomorrow.
          Me, too...if I have the energy.
          Unseen but seeing
          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
          3rd shift needs love, too
          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth karma_gypsy View Post
            Drives me nuts when people chew gum over the phone . . . and you can hear it.
            I can't stand when somebody's chewing anything when they're on the phone with me. Don't they realize that's a microphone?

            And I don't like when people chew gum like the "lady" in the OP. I never hear anything they're saying, I'm too distracted!
            It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth karma_gypsy View Post
              Isn't it surprising how little people appreciate the extra steps you take in cutting down on identity theft? You were merely doing her a favor . . . (what would have happened if the signatures didn't match?!?)
              Luckily, she'd tossed her ID at me too, so I would've had that already. Now if the names didn't match.... ::shudder::
              "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
              - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

              Comment


              • #8
                I am guilty of being a gum chewer myself. That's my vice instead of smoking.

                I'm discreet about it though. I chew with my mouth shut, not open like a cow chewing its cud.
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth karma_gypsy View Post
                  Isn't it surprising how little people appreciate the extra steps you take in cutting down on identity theft?
                  I think you may need to read this:

                  http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/


                  So enlightening
                  No good news is good bad news

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Wow Cedophile. Just WOW...
                    I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GK

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I hope your day was better today Kogarashi! At least you've got a whole lot of people to share your woes with...I find making fun of the people who piss me off the most, makes dealing with them all that much easier. I love to smile and give them my best nice person impression to their face...and make fun of them the moment they walk out the door
                      I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GK

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Cedophile View Post
                        I think you may need to read this:

                        http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/


                        So enlightening

                        Freakin’ hilarious. And you KNOW now that the ole Jester is going to try this sort of thing. Problem is, as has already been established here, I pay for most of my stuff with cash. I am going to have to make a concerted effort to do this.

                        The amusing thing is I have often been amused by signatures. I used to mock how some people’s signatures were just basically scribbles….I myself signed my full (though short) name very legibly.

                        At least, I used to. Over the years, my signature has started to devolve. Now, you have to understand, my name is Alan. (NOT Allen or Allan…I spell my name CORRECTLY.) When I was but a young lad, my signature clearly said “Alan.” A few years went by, and somehow the “n” had started to flatline, so it looked like “Ala.” Today, the second “a” has joined the “n” in oblivion, so my signature now is “Al” with a scribble. I started to think it was the short letters that this happened to, and that seemed reasonable, until my last name started to suffer the same fate. And the last two letters in my last name are both tall letters. Ones you would think you would have to concentrate to flatten those things out. Well, you would think wrong.

                        To my credit, my signature, as deteriorated and decrepit as it has become, is far better than my friend FE’s. His name is much longer than mine, with a wider variety of letters….yet the only thing you can make out clearly in his signature are the HUGE “F” and “E” (his initials). The rest looks like someone played with an Etch-a-Sketch while falling asleep on acid.

                        By the way, you can actually sign on someone else’s credit card. It really almost doesn’t matter who signs it, to be honest, because if the card holder does not dispute the charges, the card company doesn’t care. They use signatures just for that purpose, but if you want to loan your card out to your friends, and they don’t get anyone questioning them, there won’t be any problem.

                        I am going to try the idea in the Zug post. Some ideas for signatures I am going to use: Jester; Thomas Jefferson (one of my favorite dudes); Lance Armstrong; George W. Bush; Mohatma Gandhi; John Wilkes Booth; Ted Bundy (that ought to go over real well down here in Florida); Jack the Ripper; Linus Van Pelt (bonus points to anyone who recognizes the reference….all of you have seen him at one point, I don’t doubt); Jack Nicholson; and of course, Kirsten Dunst. Who still, incidentally, is not calling me. Damn her.

                        Anyone else going to experiment with this?

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Linus Van Pelt is the kid who carries the blanket around in Peanuts.
                          http://dragcave.ath.cx/user/29478

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            My DH's signature is so bad you can't even tell what alphabet he was using. There are NO identifiable letters, at least in our alphabet.
                            "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

                            "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I love (honestly) the Asian folks I get through my line whose signatures are actually in Chinese/Japanese/Korean characters. So fun to look at! And trust me when I say that kanji is hard to duplicate quickly with any modicum of accuracy if you haven't been studying it a while.

                              The guy from ZUG should've gone to Wal-Mart and bought something over $100. Those prompt for us to compare signatures (though I've noticed recently that a couple of the other cashiers ignore that prompt). I've had several customers actually thank me for comparing the signatures when that prompt comes up.
                              "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                              - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

                              Comment

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