Tweet
If I EVER turn into one of the old men that fequent my pub, someone please shoot me in the head.
You are here EVERY GOD DAMN DAY!!
I arrived at work half an hour before we opened. I spent the time setting up the bar and chatting with our cleaners.
We have a regular old guy, and he is in EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. He is always there as soon as we open the doors, no matter what the weather is like. He is never late.
So why does he keep trying the doors every five minutes when he knows what time we open??? Why does he ring our doorbell when he knows what time we open??? Why does he ask "When are you going to let me in?" through the letter box when he knows what time we open???
I have now reached a point where I open five minutes late on purpose just to piss him off. Today he pressed his face against our newly cleaned windows, spying on me! A cleaner turned to me.
Cleaner: He has been circling the pub for 2 HOURS now.
Please stop annoying pregnant women
I love Pregnant Co-Worker, but I can tell the next few months are going to be eventful while she is on. She came into work, suffering from horrendous morning sickness. She refused to go home, saying that if she went home every time she got morning sickness, she would never make any money.
A drunk guy came up to the bar with his EMPTY GLASS.
DG: I want to complain about this drink.
PCW: What's up with it?
DG: It wasn't nice.
PCW: OK.
DG: I want to complain about it.
PCW: I believe you already have. What would you like me to do about it?
DG: Nothing. I just want to complain.
PCW: Oh boy. I can't be bothered with this. If you are just going to stand there and bitch and whine at me for something I can't fix, you can just go away right now before I lose it.
DG:
"You are misleeeeeading meeee!!"
Old guy comes up to the bar.
OG: Two pints of Carling please.
I make the drinks. The numbers I quote are not our actual prices.
Me: OK, that is £5.10 please.
Old Guy goes to hand me £3. He stutters when he realises he doesn't have enough money.
OG: How much???
Me: £5.10 please.
OG: That's not right...that blackboard behind you has a different price!
I look at the blackboard.
Me: It says "Pint of Carling: £2.55"
OG: What does it say below it???
Me: It says "Bottle of Bud: £1.49"
OG: Well I thought it said "Pint of Carling: £1.49" I don't have enough money for these!
Me: Well I guess you can't have them then.
OG: No! I want them! I should get them! You are misleeeeeeading meeee!
Me: How am I misleading you?
OG: That sign is misleading! You shouldn't have two prices so close to each other! People are going to get confused!
Me: You are the first person that has ever got confused with that sign. Now, if you can't pay the full price, you can't have them.
He walked back to his table, borrowed some change off his friend and returned. My boss was next to me at this point asking what was going on.
OG: Here's your £5.10! That sign needs altering!
Me: OK, I'll make the writing even BOLDER than it already is.
My boss burst out laughing.
You are here EVERY GOD DAMN DAY!!
I arrived at work half an hour before we opened. I spent the time setting up the bar and chatting with our cleaners.
We have a regular old guy, and he is in EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. He is always there as soon as we open the doors, no matter what the weather is like. He is never late.
So why does he keep trying the doors every five minutes when he knows what time we open??? Why does he ring our doorbell when he knows what time we open??? Why does he ask "When are you going to let me in?" through the letter box when he knows what time we open???
I have now reached a point where I open five minutes late on purpose just to piss him off. Today he pressed his face against our newly cleaned windows, spying on me! A cleaner turned to me.
Cleaner: He has been circling the pub for 2 HOURS now.
Please stop annoying pregnant women
I love Pregnant Co-Worker, but I can tell the next few months are going to be eventful while she is on. She came into work, suffering from horrendous morning sickness. She refused to go home, saying that if she went home every time she got morning sickness, she would never make any money.
A drunk guy came up to the bar with his EMPTY GLASS.
DG: I want to complain about this drink.
PCW: What's up with it?
DG: It wasn't nice.
PCW: OK.
DG: I want to complain about it.
PCW: I believe you already have. What would you like me to do about it?
DG: Nothing. I just want to complain.
PCW: Oh boy. I can't be bothered with this. If you are just going to stand there and bitch and whine at me for something I can't fix, you can just go away right now before I lose it.
DG:
"You are misleeeeeading meeee!!"
Old guy comes up to the bar.
OG: Two pints of Carling please.
I make the drinks. The numbers I quote are not our actual prices.
Me: OK, that is £5.10 please.
Old Guy goes to hand me £3. He stutters when he realises he doesn't have enough money.
OG: How much???
Me: £5.10 please.
OG: That's not right...that blackboard behind you has a different price!
I look at the blackboard.
Me: It says "Pint of Carling: £2.55"
OG: What does it say below it???
Me: It says "Bottle of Bud: £1.49"
OG: Well I thought it said "Pint of Carling: £1.49" I don't have enough money for these!
Me: Well I guess you can't have them then.
OG: No! I want them! I should get them! You are misleeeeeeading meeee!
Me: How am I misleading you?
OG: That sign is misleading! You shouldn't have two prices so close to each other! People are going to get confused!
Me: You are the first person that has ever got confused with that sign. Now, if you can't pay the full price, you can't have them.
He walked back to his table, borrowed some change off his friend and returned. My boss was next to me at this point asking what was going on.
OG: Here's your £5.10! That sign needs altering!
Me: OK, I'll make the writing even BOLDER than it already is.
My boss burst out laughing.
Comment