With Apologies to Calgary

[Gravekeeper]

Yeah, but this drunken moron was more from my neck of the woods than his.

... actually, 813 shows as Florida...

^-.-^

Really? It gave me California when I reverse looked it up....

Oh, dur, 831. ><

[Andara Bledin]

Really? It gave me California when I reverse looked it up....

Oh, dur, 831. ><

Heh, no worries.

Actually, my company had some bright star from that particular area that bought an item online and then paid only for the product and no shipping and then didn't return email for two weeks.

We finally got him to respond and then pay for the shipping charges so we could get the stuff out of our shipping & receiving area.

^-.-^

[Polenicus]

See, this is how I know I’ve been living here long enough to truly become a Vancouverite. An increasingly inherent disdain for everything east of Hope and an irrational hatred of Toronto. I don’t even know why. I’ve only been to Toronto 2 or 3 times and that was over 10 years ago. Yet still, I loathe them now.

I feel the need to pipe up. I lived in Toronto for two and a half years, and I'd just like to say this offends me.

Your hatred of Toronto is not irrational!

Toronto is a horrible, horrible place. Everything is run down, old a tired. The people are generally snarky and nasty, especially in public transit, the hockey team has really seems to have an outright contempt for actually giving people their money's worth when they come to see games (We're rich! We don't actually have to play like a competent team, much less WIN!) and for much of the year the city is blanketed in a yellowish poison fog. The city itself is trying to kill the people living there. The drivers on the road would rather kill you than allow you to merge, even if you have the right of way (Especially if you have the right of way!). The roads themselves are schizophrenic, and traveling along any give road in a straight line is impossible, as roads will suddenly end, switch identities with a road two blocks over, double back, and generally ensure that whatever direction you wish to travel in is the one direction you CAN'T go.

That's not to say the areas AROUND Toronto are bad. Woodbridge, Mississauga, Concord... all pleasant places. Plant life actually dares to grow there, houses and buildings are NOT crumbling, gargoyle-like edifices, and the roads follow relatively sane patterns.

But Toronto ITSELF? It is a horrible place, where people commute to daily, apparently to suffer for 8-12 hours, so they can go home and remind themselves how lucky they are that they don't actually LIVE there.

*Sigh* I miss Vancouver...

[ottid]

GK, you actually make me want to do call centre work, it just sounds so darn interesting. I mean your SC's are a bit more interesting than my retail ones, and I get to actually see them in person...

[wolfie]

The drivers on the road would rather kill you than allow you to merge, even if you have the right of way (Especially if you have the right of way!).

*Sigh* I miss Vancouver...

What's more, they'd also rather get killed than wait their turn to merge when you've got the right of way - and a 53 foot trailer with over 40,000 pounds of cargo.

The roads are so bad that people who have serious off-road 4x4s ("Trail rated" Jeeps designed for the Rubicon trail) get warranty claims denied because they abused the suspension by taking it over Toronto potholes.

Another transplanted Vancouverite here.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Gravekeeper, for you to use in your posts...

An instant rimshot button.

And I have friends (and family) that live in the Vancouver area that regard the rest of Canada as 'beyond Hope'.

[Slytovhand]

What is the sound of one moron dialing?

Ah thank you! That was fantastic!! I need to start using it around here.. (but, given half the callers, it'd get stale pretty quick )

[Jester]

Go fuck a tree.

That is AWESOME!!! And now it's my new favorite phrase! I do believe I am going to use that to replace, at least for the time being, my old favorite phrase of "Go piss up a rope."

I’m not sure how many more ways I can explain this. Do you need me to try and explain it in interpretive dance? Because I will. I can’t promise my pants will stay on either. So you might want to consider backing up rather swiftly.

Edited for my amusement. And because, if I had said the above, that's the way I would have said it. Not, mind you, that I've ever threatened to explain something to a gobstopper-brained fucktrumpet with interpretive dance. Just saying IF I did......

If you were dying of thirst I would not buy you water from a public fountain.

That is all kinds of win. And another one I may use. In this case, to replace the classic but somewhat stale "If they were on fire, I wouldn't cross the road to piss on them to put it out!"

[Becks]

Paste is a gateway drug, you know. It could lead to all sorts of things like Playdough, Glitter Glue or even marker sniffing.

For some reason, I suddenly miss the scented markers from elementary school.

[AriRashkae]

That is all kinds of win. And another one I may use. In this case, to replace the classic but somewhat stale "If they were on fire, I wouldn't cross the road to piss on them to put it out!"

My father has said that "If [lawyer for deceased family member] was on fire, I'd toss him a bucket of gasoline."

Yeah, he doesn't like that lawyer very much.

[sms001]

SC: “What time do they open?”
Me: “They’ll be in, in 2 and a half hours.”
SC: “Ok, but that’s your time right? What time do they get in Calgary time?”

So you've totally given up on them being able to adjust time zone differences for themselves, you give them an actual time span, and they STILL get it wrong. Wow.

[Lots42]

I have a horrible feeling he wanted to call the factory because he wanted to eat a certain factory employee.

[auntiem]

We’ve already left the orbit of the planet Reasonable and have careened deep into the Yeah, Good Fucking Luck With That Nebula.

This is full of all kind of win!

[Oberonsshadow]

No, it was a prank call. Hence the retarded drunken laughter through out. ;p

Really? It gave me California when I reverse looked it up....

Oh, dur, 831. ><

Yeah... this does not surprise me. 831 includes a portion of inland Central CA, that includes Aptos, Castroville, Watsonville and Soledad (Where the prison is...) They're special out there...