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Yet more tales of idiocy from the pet unit

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  • Yet more tales of idiocy from the pet unit

    Some people will remember that I used to work in a garden centre, in the pet unit. There were so many idiots there (including the manager) that I feel compelled to share their stories with you.


    1. Mrs Must Have Failed Biology

    This woman approached me at the till, asking me if I had any rats. I said, "Yes of course," and took her to the rat cages. She recoiled in horror, saying, "Ew, I meant the ones without the tails, not those!" Me: "These animals are rats; the animals without tails are hamsters." Her: "Well, get me one of those." Words failed me; surely before buying a pet you should learn the difference between the species? I pitied the wretched hamster she ended up buying.

    2. The man who didn't know hamsters

    This man wanted to buy 2 hamsters and put them in a cage together. I refused to sell him 2 hamsters, on the basis that if he did that, they'd fight. To the death. I eventually pesuaded him to buy 2 mice. He kept asking me stupid questions, like "Do they smell?" I told him all animals smell if you don't clean them out. He seemed surprised by this.

    3. Mrs You Sell Rabbits So Therefore You Must Have Sold Me This One.

    This woman brought back a rabbit that was obviously suffering from myxmotosis (sp?). She put the box containing the rabbit on my till and demanded that I refund her for the diseased rabbit that I'd sold her. Now, I knew for a fact that rabbits of this type (English) were at this moment not up for sale and hadn't been for at least 2 months. We had Dutches, mixies, lops and Netherland Dwarfs on sale, but no Englishes.

    I asked the woman for her receipt; she rummaged around in her purse and eventually produced one... for the garden centre down the road. I explained to her that she had to go to them to get a refund, and in any case, myxie rabbits were infectious so she shouldn't expect them to take the rabbit back. Her response? "I'm here now; can't you take it and give me my money back?" I replied, "No, and you should take that rabbit to the vet and have it put down straight away." She tried to talk me down; eventually, in a huff she took the poor bunny away. I scrubbed my till area with disinfectant afterwards.


    Will probably add more later.
    People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
    My DeviantArt.

  • #2
    for number 2 at least you did that much
    my parents got my brother hamsters once and got two thinking both were the same gender, turns out they were male/female... that was a disaster!

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    • #3
      Quoth Ryu View Post
      for number 2 at least you did that much
      my parents got my brother hamsters once and got two thinking both were the same gender, turns out they were male/female... that was a disaster!
      We decided to get gerbils as they were more daytime animals as opposed to the nocturnal habits of a hamster. This meant we needed to get at least two as we learned gerbils are social animals and do better with a companion.

      The saleswoman SWORE to us that the two five-week-old gerbils we were buying both were female. Turns out that Fairy Princess (the name my daughters gave the white one) came with a "magic wand" that caused Little Miss (the black one) to produce four more gerbils some two months later. We did not know that female gerbils “do it” the day they give birth so it was not until Little Miss was in the process of growing her third litter that we managed to get the boys and their father, Fairy Princess, away from the girls and Mom.

      By that time I had become an expert in sexing gerbils. We managed to find homes for the second and third litters once we threw in free cages and proved only same sex pairs were being given out.
      "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
      .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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      • #4


        The IM bought 4 rabbits off a woman who just came into the unit while I was at lunch and offered the rabbits for sale. Of course, the IM thought that he knew far more about animals than anyone else in the world and bought all 4, taking the woman's word for it that they were all females. He put them all into the same cage.

        When I came back from lunch I was annoyed, but there wasn't anything I could do. I put 2 of the rabbits into another cage and thought nothing of it... until I caught 2 of the rabbits shagging. X_x Turns out that one of the rabbits was all man... and the rabbit he was with was up the duff. 1 of the other rabbits had also gotten pregnant, but her baby was born dead; the other rabbit either was lucky to not get preggers or maybe had a miscarriage or something. So the other rabbit, who as you can imagine I removed from the cage post haste, eventually gave birth to 3 baby rabbits. So I had to feed the mum rabbit loads and cover up her cage on the very top so that no idiot customers could disturb her. The horny male rabbit and the other 2 were sold before the baby rabbits were furry and ready to be separated from Mum. It was a total headache from start to finish... but the baby bunnies were so cute. ^.^
        People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
        My DeviantArt.

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        • #5
          Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
          I refused to sell him 2 hamsters, on the basis that if he did that, they'd fight. To the death.
          I did not know that about hamsters. Good thing I have never bought a hamster....
          -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
          -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

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          • #6
            Sounds like those 3 people are the ones who belong in cages, not the animals.
            "500 bucks, that's almost a million!"
            ~Curly from the 3 Stooges

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            • #7
              A couple of weeks ago I was shopping at the local Meijer's store. For those not in our area, it is a HUGE store that sells just about everything...including pets (tho not the big ones, dogs and cats...)

              I was looking at the fish tanks, and happened to notice two jerky teen boys hanging around the endcap...looking at the bettas. For those not familiar with bettas, they are also known as Siamise Fighting Fish, for good reason. Anyways, the bettas are kept in Starbucks coffie cups (transparent) and the two boys had (obviously) poured one poor fish into the cup of another. Mind you, the poor things were so sick they probably just wanted to die anyways, but no one should put them together with the sadistic purpose of watching them tear each other apart (as healthy ones will)

              I stepped up, and loudly said "This is SO wrong...these fish should not be in the same bowl!" and poured one into it's empty cup. I heard the young jerks talking to each other "Gee, I should get one for my sister..." before walking off. Not far enuff tho, as I rounded the corner once more to see them back, and as I suspected, the bettas were in the same cup again! I stepped up and put them right...and hung around. I went to look for something, and sure enuff, the guys were back again, trying to do the same thing. I stood in front of the display, and looked at them till they left for good, exiting the store. (They REALLY wanted to see those poor fish fight...) (Why didn't I call security? Because the store is warehouse huge...never would have found them in time to catch the twerps)

              I was so mad I waited 20 minutes to see the manager in charge of the pets. I told him of the problem, and offered several solutions (cups with strong lids to make it harder to abuse them, putting the bettas in 'betta barracks' in the regular fish tanks, letting them share the water but not swim free in the tank) He said he'd love to put them behind glass...but corporate wouldn't do it. Anyways....I don't think ANYTHING will be done.

              Stupid sadistic teens...
              I no longer fear HELL.
              I work in RETAIL.

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              • #8
                Kids in school used to bitch at me because I ate the culls out of our show stock, but when I think about it, rabbit pot pie was a much better fate than winding up with some idiot like the ones you describe. We lost our whole barn to myxamatosis in the height of Oregon's mosquito season, but to me, a lone rabbit would be far easier to protect from bloodsuckers....and I've never seen a rabbit, even an indoor pet, get fleas (of course I'm sure precautions against that were taken). What do these people do to their "pets"? I'd hate to see how they treat they're children....god forbid they have any.
                ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

                Chickens are Asexual!

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                • #9
                  I love animals, and plants a million times more than I'll ever like humans, even at my better times and with people I like. So every time you guys start a pet thread I doubt for hours before deciding to read it, I know they will make too mad to handle for a while.

                  Like right now.

                  Anyhow be well, and try to save the poor animals you can from abuse.

                  As I said I like plants as much as animals (they're living beigns too), and it's the reason I'm not vegan, since I think it would be unfair to discriminate poor plants. Most I can do is try to find out the procedence of my meat and see to buy meat that was treated fairly while alive.

                  Whenever I see teenagers idly abusing an animal, or waling down the streer and tearing leaves from small trees out of boredom it takes ALL my self strength to avoid dismembering them alive.

                  Sigh, sometimes I wonder how a species with so LOW moral values can beleive itself so superior.

                  *walks away saddly.*
                  I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

                  "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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                  • #10
                    I had 2 hamsters once. They were the cutest little things. It was very rare, when they would wrestle around. The funny thing is, that when I would watch wrestling, the hamsters would glue their eyes to the tv I loved those little guys
                    Under The Moon Paranormal Research
                    San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

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                    • #11
                      I have yet to actually see anyone abuse an animal, but I've heard stories. And I have my own suspicions on how my beloved cat Chaos got his little furry lips in antifreeze my senior year of high school.

                      I had two hamsters in my youth. The first was a black and white who had a perfect little white stripe across his middle, so I named him Oreo. He lived with me for three years before old age took him. I'm told that's a long time for a hamster.

                      After him I had a teddy bear hamster named Bister. He was a mean little cuss, and smart too. I bought him a new cage so there wouldn't be any Oreo smell in Bister's living space (that and that damn wheel had gotten so squeaky and it was that plastic cage that the wheel is set in the wall of the cage) and he managed to escape from it on a regular basis. I always found him, the longest he had been gone was two days when I found him hiding in the arm rest of the sofa. That is, until I thought he had escaped the house and one of the neighborhood cats got him.

                      Turns out, a year later when I had my spotted cat Baby, that Bister was still alive and well. He'd burrowed a hole in the wall of my toy closet (the kind under the stairs so it angles to a point that is somewhat hard to get to) and had been living on cat food. That's right, he would make his way up the basement stairs into the kitchen, fill his little cheeks with Purina Cat Chow and then go back downstairs. For a whole year. Baby found him and I caught him and put him in a bucket. I took him to the nearby fields the next day as I no longer had a cage and he seemed much happier on his own. Bister and a paper bowl of cat food lived near the creek until the end of his golden little days.

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                      • #12
                        I had hamsters, too, and never had a problem with two or more in a cage together. The reason for the "or more" - Apollo (he liked TV, too) got fresh with Cleo and, viola, a litter. I kept one (Clover) and gave the rest away. Just before they were completely weaned, they all managed to break out of the cage. We still refer to it as the "Great Escape"! Spent most of the night chasing them down.

                        One of the funniest things, their little feet would get cold. I'd have one out playing with it, crawling around on my hands, feet, legs, whereever, with these little itty, bitty cold paws!

                        I was at Wal-Mart one time and noticed that some asshole had put two bettas in one of the little cups. It was especially upsetting since my betta (Mr. Fishy) had just died. Seriously, what, exactly, is wrong with people anyway?

                        I've always wanted a bunny, but I am so allergic to them, I can't be around them.
                        It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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                        • #13
                          Well, we'd keep the teeny baby hamsters 2 to a cage, but when they get older, they were separated. Suppose they'd be alright, like male guinea pigs, if they were kept together right from the start in a huge cage; but we never wanted to risk it, what with the fact that the hamsters were smarter than most of the customers. In any case, why not just buy gerbils, rats or mice? Oh yes, cuz they have tails... and so many people hated tails on rodents. Even tho gerbils, rats and mice are less bity and are around during the day, people would buy hamsters.

                          I kept hamsters until I got a cat. They all lived in cages by themselves and were all males cept for 3, Daisy, Spike and Henrietta. The males were named Rocky, Ben, Bulldog, Terminator, Ace and Hans Hamish. I didn't have them all at the same time, they were bought one after the other as they died. Never a day went by when someone would say "Why call your hamster that?" Oh happy days...
                          People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                          My DeviantArt.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Bliss View Post
                            I love animals, and plants a million times more than I'll ever like humans, even at my better times and with people I like. So every time you guys start a pet thread I doubt for hours before deciding to read it, I know they will make too mad to handle for a while.
                            I feel the same way. I even have problems watching Animal Planet.

                            what with the fact that the hamsters were smarter than most of the customers.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Enjis View Post
                              I was so mad I waited 20 minutes to see the manager in charge of the pets. I told him of the problem, and offered several solutions (cups with strong lids to make it harder to abuse them, putting the bettas in 'betta barracks' in the regular fish tanks, letting them share the water but not swim free in the tank) He said he'd love to put them behind glass...but corporate wouldn't do it. Anyways....I don't think ANYTHING will be done.
                              My father had tropical fish when I was a young one, and a few years later, I had my own. I was lazy, and let them all die, and was obviously not the best fish owner...but even *I* think that keeping bettas in a COFFEE CUP, especially in a store where anyone can fuck with them, is just absolutely ridiciously assininely astoundingly stupid. What is wrong with management in that store?

                              Idiots. Bloody frickin' idiots.

                              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                              Still A Customer."

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