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I will offer sex in return for clearance!

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  • I will offer sex in return for clearance!

    This is a story my boyf told me that happened a day or so ago at his workplace. First, some background. My boyf works as a security guard in a building where, without giving away too much information about where he works, anyone who wishes to go inside must either have ID (for example, security staff, cleaners etc), have their names down in the book, or be with someone with ID who can clock them in. All visitors have to either call up beforehand so their names can be put in the book, or be buzzed in by the person they are seeing (who will come down and authorise them, give them a visitor's badge and then they will sign in the book) which means that everyone who is inside the building can be monitored.

    Now, to the story. My boyf is lucky in that his boss is very lax about being nice to people who break the rules or try to get into the building without clearance; basically, the moment they start trying it on or being rude, all bets are off. Any violence and he can call for more security guards to assist, and also the police. The SC in question might have had a legitamate reason for being there, but without clearance, she had no chance of getting in and should have just left. Anyway, here's what happened, to the best of my remembrance of what my boyf told me.

    The girl came in thru the doors, wearing a skirt that barely covered her thighs and a halter neck top. She was wearing flipflops. The weather was sunny, but certainly not warm enough to merit so few clothes. She tried to walk past the desk, but my boyf stopped her and asked her to either give her name, or show her ID. She didn't have ID, and her name was not in the book. My boyf then asked her if she was seeing anyone, specifically; she refused to say. This is where it gets interesting.

    J - My boyf (not his real initial)
    SC - Slutty girl

    J: I'm sorry, but you don't have clearance, so you can't come in. Please come back later when you've sorted this out.
    SC: Fuck you! I don't have time to listen to this; I have to see someone for a very important meeting and I don't have time to talk to you.
    J: I'm sorry, but the rules are very clear; no-one is allowed to enter this building without clearance. I can't let you in.
    SC: (changes tactics; flutters eyelashes, leans forward to show cleavage which a man could fall down and puts one hand to her skirt hem, raising it a little) If you let me in, I could make it worth your while.
    J: I have a girlf, and you're still not coming in.
    SC: She's probably a bitch. I'd be much better than her.
    J: She's not a bitch, and you're a slag.
    SC: What? How dare you!
    J: You have a choice; leave now by yourself, or leave when I throw you out of here.
    SC: I hope you're happy; I'm going to miss my meeting now! (turns round and flounces out)

    I was really angry when I heard about this... cuz I would flipping well LOVE to be able to speak to SCs like that. As for the girl, it kind of makes me wonder just exactly what this "important meeting" of hers was all about. O_o
    People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
    My DeviantArt.

  • #2
    Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
    ...As for the girl, it kind of makes me wonder just exactly what this "important meeting" of hers was all about. O_o
    It was about $150.00 for the 1st hour.
    "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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    • #3
      I guessed it was a horizontal type meeting, pretty much. XD But it would be in pounds sterling rather than dollars.
      People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
      My DeviantArt.

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      • #4
        Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
        I guessed it was a horizontal type meeting, pretty much. XD But it would be in pounds sterling rather than dollars.
        Doesn't seem like there would be anything sterling about that pounding.
        "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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        • #5
          Not from a cheap slut, obviously. XD
          People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
          My DeviantArt.

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          • #6
            Oh, the puns; dear god, the puns...

            You gotta polish a memory like a stone. Chip off the parts that remind you it was just a game. Work it until it's indistinguishable from any other memory.

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            • #7
              No if you called a hooker you'd get her name on the list.

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              • #8
                Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                It was about $150.00 for the 1st hour.
                that's what i was thinking... someone ordered a lunch time special

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                • #9
                  You know when I read the title I was thinking of clearance as in a sale and thought that this would be about someone offering sex for a clearance price on a sofa or something.
                  Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
                  Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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                  • #10
                    British to American translation required: What's a slag?
                    Be a winner today: Pick a fight with a 4 year old.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Alpha Strike View Post
                      British to American translation required: What's a slag?
                      Same as a slut; in this context, it basically refers to a girl who sleeps around, or wears skimpy clothing and looks like she might. Usage: "Paris Hilton is a total slag!" XD
                      People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                      My DeviantArt.

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                      • #12
                        I'll see your sex offer, and raise you incarceration
                        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                        • #13
                          OK, that was definitely original. I've heard of women flirting to get discounts at various locations and I've heard of women trying to flirt their way past Customs (I really need to stop watching so much Border Security) but this is original
                          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                          Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                          • #14
                            The really funny thing is, my boyf has had it happen only once before... and it was a guy. XD
                            People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                            My DeviantArt.

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                            • #15
                              I would've taken her offer.

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