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The other day, the first four people I dealt with were, in one way or another, douchebags. I can't for some reason remember the fourth one, but the others, in ascending order from the mildly irritating to the King Douche Award, they went as follows:
Douche Trainee.
JESTER: "Thanks for calling [the name of The Bar], this Jester speaking, how may I help you?"
DT: "Yes, may I speak with Susan?"
JESTER: (thinking she meant Sue, a coworker who goes by the shorter form of her name) "Sue's not working at the moment. May I take a message?"
DT: "Is this therapy?"
JESTER: "Excuse me?"
DT: "Is this therapy?
JESTER: "Ma'am, this is [the name of The Bar]. We are a bar and restaurant."
DT: "I'm sorry, I have the wrong number." *click*
Learn how to dial a phone, lady.
Boss Man did point out to me later that, yes, we ARE therapy, and I should have told her her appointment was for 1:00.
Average Douche.
As I am talking to the Boss, AD walks into The Bar. I am clearly engaged in conversation with someone other than AD. Not to be deterred, he walks right up and asks for change.
He did not say excuse me. He did not bother taking note of the ongoing conversation. He did not even wait for a break in the convo. As Boss Man and I were talking, he walked up and blurted out "Can I get change for this?"
Learn some manners, dude.
King Douche.
Before we opened, KD walked up to the front doors, and was insistent on knocking. He didn't want to come in to dine or drink or use our bathrooms, though. He wanted to talk to a manager. My coworker, who opened the door for him, let him in and got Boss Man. KD and Boss Man talked for a bit, and between snippets I heard and stuff I learned later, here was the deal.
KD had been in the night before. He had ordered a beer, paid for it, and by his reckoning, been given the incorrect change and been treated rudely, and thought the bartender was scamming him, as at 10 at night she claimed not to have any twenties in the drawer, despite the fact that he had paid with one. How could someone not have a twenty in the drawer that late in the shift?
That was his version.
The truth of the matter was this. KD had been in the night before. He had ordered the beer. He paid with a ten. The bartender in question, who we shall call Goddess for her amazingness, took the ten and gave him change. He didn't say anything at first, then he brought up that he had paid with a twenty. She was quite sure he had paid with a ten, and when she checked her drawer, there were in fact no twenties in there. How is that possible that late at night, you ask? Lots of people pay with fifties and hundreds, and require change. I have ended a busy shift without a twenty in my drawer. It is rare, but it does happen. Add to this the facts that Goddess is one of the people at work so beyond reproach in her personal character as to make his claim of her ripping him off utterly ridiculous AND the fact that later, when the manager counted her drawer, it was exactly on, NOT ten dollars over, as it would have been if his story had the least bit of truth to it.
No, KD just wanted to bitch and be miserable and try to get Goddess in trouble. He was, as has been described before, one of t hose people that is insistent on being unhappy no matter how much we try to make it otherwise....and he wants to make sure that everyone around him is unhappy as well.
How else would you explain his coming to The Bar before we even opened to bitch about ten dollars he had been taken for...which, as it turns out, he hadn't?
Douche Trainee.
JESTER: "Thanks for calling [the name of The Bar], this Jester speaking, how may I help you?"
DT: "Yes, may I speak with Susan?"
JESTER: (thinking she meant Sue, a coworker who goes by the shorter form of her name) "Sue's not working at the moment. May I take a message?"
DT: "Is this therapy?"
JESTER: "Excuse me?"
DT: "Is this therapy?
JESTER: "Ma'am, this is [the name of The Bar]. We are a bar and restaurant."
DT: "I'm sorry, I have the wrong number." *click*
Learn how to dial a phone, lady.
Boss Man did point out to me later that, yes, we ARE therapy, and I should have told her her appointment was for 1:00.
Average Douche.
As I am talking to the Boss, AD walks into The Bar. I am clearly engaged in conversation with someone other than AD. Not to be deterred, he walks right up and asks for change.
He did not say excuse me. He did not bother taking note of the ongoing conversation. He did not even wait for a break in the convo. As Boss Man and I were talking, he walked up and blurted out "Can I get change for this?"
Learn some manners, dude.
King Douche.
Before we opened, KD walked up to the front doors, and was insistent on knocking. He didn't want to come in to dine or drink or use our bathrooms, though. He wanted to talk to a manager. My coworker, who opened the door for him, let him in and got Boss Man. KD and Boss Man talked for a bit, and between snippets I heard and stuff I learned later, here was the deal.
KD had been in the night before. He had ordered a beer, paid for it, and by his reckoning, been given the incorrect change and been treated rudely, and thought the bartender was scamming him, as at 10 at night she claimed not to have any twenties in the drawer, despite the fact that he had paid with one. How could someone not have a twenty in the drawer that late in the shift?
That was his version.
The truth of the matter was this. KD had been in the night before. He had ordered the beer. He paid with a ten. The bartender in question, who we shall call Goddess for her amazingness, took the ten and gave him change. He didn't say anything at first, then he brought up that he had paid with a twenty. She was quite sure he had paid with a ten, and when she checked her drawer, there were in fact no twenties in there. How is that possible that late at night, you ask? Lots of people pay with fifties and hundreds, and require change. I have ended a busy shift without a twenty in my drawer. It is rare, but it does happen. Add to this the facts that Goddess is one of the people at work so beyond reproach in her personal character as to make his claim of her ripping him off utterly ridiculous AND the fact that later, when the manager counted her drawer, it was exactly on, NOT ten dollars over, as it would have been if his story had the least bit of truth to it.
No, KD just wanted to bitch and be miserable and try to get Goddess in trouble. He was, as has been described before, one of t hose people that is insistent on being unhappy no matter how much we try to make it otherwise....and he wants to make sure that everyone around him is unhappy as well.
How else would you explain his coming to The Bar before we even opened to bitch about ten dollars he had been taken for...which, as it turns out, he hadn't?
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