And here I thought this job would be easier!

[WhiteRose]

ahhh... a scarred war-veteran, i see...i have a curious nature that has allowed me to become such a level myself...i don't need brain-bleach because i'm used to this stuff. good luck to those who are curious enough to click but not strong enough to handle it...

[sanchopanza65]

I know all about lemonparty. Someone at school wrote that address all around the campus on sidewalks, and billed it as some sort of political site: "Both parties got you sour? Lemonparty.com". I don't see what's so terrible about sour patch kids though. Those things are pretty good.

[Rapscallion]

Taken out the LP link - for future reference, we try to keep the links away from naughty stuff.

Rapscallion

[Andara Bledin]

Doesn't everybody know that the code-name for vibrators is "personal massagers?"

^-.-^

[WhiteRose]

surprisingly i did not... i thought personal massagers were smaller massagers shaped so that one person could hold them and massage their own backs or legs or whatever was sore...

[Mikkel]

Or whatever...
exactly

[WhiteRose]

Or whatever...
exactly

you dirty, DIRTY person you...
I like it!

[friendofjimmyk]

Old people need love too!

I agree....but I would still break out the brain bleach on this call if I took it.

[Calie]

Grandma of the phone of horror

Me: Thank you for calling Blank Pharmacy, this is Reirei, how may I help you??
SC: *In a very loud little old lady voice that only little old lady's have* I am looking for a massager!
Me: Okay ma'am, *begins to go into all the different ones we have and the price ranges and the like until she interupts me*
SC: That's not what I ment!! I want a PERSONAL massager for LADY'S!
Me: *is utterly horrified and so can not stop self from saying* Huh what?
SC: A VIBRATOR!! Do you sell VIBRATORS!!
Me: * in a horrified timid little girl voice* No ma'am, we do not.
SC: Well where can I get one??
Me: ... ... ... A sex shop? *hangs up in a hurry*
Co-Worker: Is what I think just happened, just happen?
Me:

Funny, I actually got the opposite. Was working housewares at the Japanese grocery store (ie: ricecookers and tea sets), and my friend was hanging out as I was getting off soon. Phone rings, I'm a bit busy, so my friend answered for me...

Friend: <store name>, housewares, how may I help you?
(listens for a few seconds...)
F: Uh, Calie, do you sell Vibrators?
Me: Uh, what?
F: That's what she said... <holds phone out>
Me: This is Calie, how can I help you?
Old Lady: Yes, I am looking for a vibrator?
Me: A vibrator?
OL: You know, the thing for your back and such...
Me: OHHHHHH, a MASSAGER. Let me transfer you to that department.
*click*

Me:
Customers still in line:
Friend:

To this day my friend loves retelling that story. In the lady's defense, she sounded about 70 and English might not have been her first language...but damn.