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  • "Respectful" complaint letter LANGUAGE WARNING

    I got shown the most interesting complaint letter at work today, that I just had to scan it and show people. However, the guy's hand writing is fairly terrible, so I've transcribed it for the reading "pleasure" of the cs community.

    The letter is transcribed as exactly as I can make out, with approximations of the spacing used, and errors contained. It's wrapped in code tags to preserve the indentation's he put at the start of paragraphs instead of using more of his half ply paper.

    Oh, and I did fail to transcribe the return address and name from the letter.
    Although, he did date it "6 Jun 06" (though this is a new and recent letter, as shown by the postage date)

    Warning, it does contain strong language.

    Code:
    Dear Sir ( or Ma`am as the case might be)
     I wish to make a complaint against your female
    employee. Don't know her identity but she was on duty
    about 12.30 PM Today.
        Some bloody male jerk-off apparently had been
    sitting at the computer station next to the one I was using.
    He wasn't there when I started using the computer. Nor
    did I see any packet of fags or wallet or money or anything
    else at that position when I started to use the computer.
    Anyway he rolls up and asks me if I saw anything at the
    position he was using. I tell him no and he goes away.
      Next thing I know your smart arse maggot bitch
    rolls up demanding to search my bag. Not even the common
    courtesy of a please. No apology or thank you when I
    show her. And she has the infernal hide to get offended
    when as a result I tell her to fuck off & asks me to leave.
    Again no please, that I can recall. She'll never know how
    dangerously close she came to get her head punched off her
    shoulder. I left.
      Now, I'll give you an ultimatim. I DON'T expect you
    to give me a written apology. I DONT hold you responsible
    for this sluts action. But I want a written apology from
    her. And if she refuses I wan't you to fire her. Do that
    and I'll cheerfully give your lawyer a written agreement
    not to sue you. I am NOT interested in shaking you
    down for money, if that is what you're thinking. But
    I am very seriously interested in having a very big piece
    ---- page break ----
    out of her. I consider her action defamatory. If the bitch
    tries to sue for wrongful dismissal I'll take great
    sadistic glee testifying on your behalf in court.
      You lawyer will tell you I'm making you a very
    generous offer.
      So, do we have a deal going ?. & remain
                                     Yours Respectfully
                                       <name removed>
    It is better to be the hammer than the nail.

  • #2
    Quoth xlr82xs View Post
    Nor
    did I see any packet of fags
    of course he didn't, we travel in packs not packets

    oh, wait... *looks at location tag* ... never mind

    seriously, that guy has some major issues that need to be dealt with by professionals.
    If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth xlr82xs View Post
      Although, he did date it "6 Jun 06" (though this is a new and recent letter, as shown by the postage date)
      So, he sent it on 6/6/06?
      "I call murder on that!"

      Comment


      • #4
        This guy clearly doesn't know what "defamation" is, and it also seems he's unaware of what "libel" is. If he considers being asked to leave "defamatory" then I consider this letter to be highly libelous.

        I hope your boss wadded the letter up and threw it away.
        "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

        RIP Plaidman.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Dave1982 View Post
          I hope your boss wadded the letter up and threw it away.
          Well, since the employee in question is the boss' sister in law, I'm fairly sure he'll be forwarding the threatening letter off to the police.
          It is better to be the hammer than the nail.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth xlr82xs View Post
            Well, since the employee in question is the boss' sister in law, I'm fairly sure he'll be forwarding the threatening letter off to the police.
            That works, too.
            "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

            RIP Plaidman.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post

              seriously, that guy has some major issues that need to be dealt with by professionals.
              Yes, you are right, but unless someone has mob connections, I imagine it would be tough to hire a professional hit man to go after him.

              So hard to find good help these days.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                Yes, you are right, but unless someone has mob connections, I imagine it would be tough to hire a professional hit man to go after him.
                Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure we could fire up the CS Bus, get a posse together...and hunt his ass down
                Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                  So hard to find good help these days.
                  Friend help you move, good friends help you move bodies.
                  A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth xlr82xs View Post
                    Well, since the employee in question is the boss' sister in law, I'm fairly sure he'll be forwarding the threatening letter off to the police.
                    And keep a copy for future laughs
                    When I said "From my research", what I actually meant to say was "Made shit up" - from a thottbot thread

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth crazylegs View Post
                      Friend help you move, good friends help you move bodies.
                      Move them over to my place, then. I have a compost bin out back that has turned into a maggot circus. Seriously, I threw some watermelon rinds in there about an hour ago, and they are about half gone now. Just unbelievable. You can actually hear the munching. I thought hogs were bad.

                      I ever need to dispose of, say, a body, I'm just gonna lay them out in my backyard and dump my composter on top of them. They'll be gone before I am finished walking away.

                      So yeah. I guess you could call me a "good friend."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                        Yes, you are right, but unless someone has mob connections, I imagine it would be tough to hire a professional hit man to go after him.

                        So hard to find good help these days.
                        My brother used to be district attorney where I grew up. The funniest thing about my divorce was the Christmas during our separation, when I overheard my brother and my mom (?!), both slightly inebriated, discussing whether some of Ed's "acquaintances" might be interested in some money to whack Clueless.

                        I snorted eggnog out my nose, and laughed myself into hysterics. And couldn't repeat the conversation to the rest of the family.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth protege View Post
                          Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure we could fire up the CS Bus, get a posse together...and hunt his ass down
                          I'll be out back, in the building, sharpening the machete if anyone needs me . . .
                          Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                            I'll be out back, in the building, sharpening the machete if anyone needs me . . .
                            Speak for yourself, I'll be out the back blunting my spoon...
                            A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                              I'll be out back, in the building, sharpening the machete if anyone needs me . . .
                              I think death by tea cup is a little more poetic... (brownie points if you get it) I'll be out scouting some abandoned areas...just let me know when to show up with the truck....
                              "I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
                              -Red

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